Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Today was my 78th birthday. So many beautiful cards, emails, phone calls from all I love and I know love me.. I really do try hard not to focus on the numbers, but they are there loud and clear.. I try and soften the reality by focusing on living in the moment and being so grateful for all that I have. A surivor tool that is beyond important, it is what allows you to enjoy the joys and not even think of the alternatives…when I say alternatives, I mean thinking of what happens later on and when and what of..why even go there? What is the purpose of that thinking, even though, it is reality? Who needs reality, when fantasy is so much more inviting! Fantasy allows you to think whatever you choose, without emotional chains. The chains of overthinking about what you cannot change. The what if’s, the should haves, the could haves, and the not haves. I choose joy, and what an effort it is to think joy, when you feel sad. It does work though, one can control one’s thoughts.You can dwell in the past forever, or talk to yourself and go down the list of haves. I love the emotional lists. I list all the people and things that I am grateful for on one side, and on the other, what makes me feel so empty.. The grateful side always wins, so far so good. I had dinner tonight with my New York son, daughter in love, and granddaughter, and I felt complete. Coming home to an empty quiet apartment, of course, made me think of not being with my husband…but I was ok..as I once said, pity parties are necessary in life, but just don’t stay too long at the party. I look in the mirror, but not in a critical way, that would drive me crazy to focus on every flaw. I put makeup on in the am and then the mirror is not an essentail part of my life..and I like what I see. Erma Bombeck said one morning,”who’s the old lady who moved in last night?” I hope I will always be able to call myself a thinking woman, without the old lady intro….and to all the women out there….Happy Day!!! Numbers? For the lottery only!

Comments on: "So…..it’s my birthday!" (10)

  1. Think of it as just 39 again. Happy Birthday!

  2. Sandy Grotta said:

    If one had a great marriage then one is very lucky
    happy birthday
    sandy

  3. Happy Birthday Paulette from your California friend at Carpe Diem…loved your words. It strikes me that at 48 I think many of the same things. I never have regrets anymore. I realize that at any given moment in time we all make the best decisions that we can with what knowledge and information we have available to us. It is too easy to look back and think that many things should have been done differently. We only know that because we now live in the future of that decision. Everything I have ever done has led me to this place in life. I have decided that it all worked out pretty great! Mistakes and all…

    • So great to hear from you Phaedra, and that you are reading and enjoying my words. Walking into Carpe Diem was a Universe decision and look forward to seeing you on my next visit. I loved and appreciate your comment. Thank you for my birthday wishes as well..Regrets like guilt, so not necessary.

  4. antonia said:

    Happy Birthday!
    I hope this joie de vivre that you strongly possess will never leave you and I wish you the strength to carry on like this for as long as you desire.

    • Thank you so much for your kindess with your birthday wishes and emotion in your response…re right choice now…intellectually I know, but then again…………………………I also send you back wishes for whatever you wish for yourself…

  5. Marsha Mann Larner said:

    Dearest Paulette

    Loved seeing you again yesterday. You are beautiful from the inside out. Your blog is inspiring. Living each day as if it is your birthday is my motto and seems to be yours too!
    Gratitude for your dedication to 60+ singles, and your professionalism and perseverance –
    Continue living your life of simplicity, adventure, stillness and laughter.
    Let’s stay in touch.
    X
    Marsha

    • What wonderful words Marsha, and I thank you so sincerely with love. The way we met with our husbands in Paris, has always been one of my beautiful experiences, just like you…Thank you for following me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: