Today was my 78th birthday. So many beautiful cards, emails, phone calls from all I love and I know love me.. I really do try hard not to focus on the numbers, but they are there loud and clear.. I try and soften the reality by focusing on living in the moment and being so grateful for all that I have. A surivor tool that is beyond important, it is what allows you to enjoy the joys and not even think of the alternatives…when I say alternatives, I mean thinking of what happens later on and when and what of..why even go there? What is the purpose of that thinking, even though, it is reality? Who needs reality, when fantasy is so much more inviting! Fantasy allows you to think whatever you choose, without emotional chains. The chains of overthinking about what you cannot change. The what if’s, the should haves, the could haves, and the not haves. I choose joy, and what an effort it is to think joy, when you feel sad. It does work though, one can control one’s thoughts.You can dwell in the past forever, or talk to yourself and go down the list of haves. I love the emotional lists. I list all the people and things that I am grateful for on one side, and on the other, what makes me feel so empty.. The grateful side always wins, so far so good. I had dinner tonight with my New York son, daughter in love, and granddaughter, and I felt complete. Coming home to an empty quiet apartment, of course, made me think of not being with my husband…but I was ok..as I once said, pity parties are necessary in life, but just don’t stay too long at the party. I look in the mirror, but not in a critical way, that would drive me crazy to focus on every flaw. I put makeup on in the am and then the mirror is not an essentail part of my life..and I like what I see. Erma Bombeck said one morning,”who’s the old lady who moved in last night?” I hope I will always be able to call myself a thinking woman, without the old lady intro….and to all the women out there….Happy Day!!! Numbers? For the lottery only!