Addiction to a thought is seen as a major obstacle to enlightenment, because when our attention is focused on negative thought, we cannot experience reality.
Archive for April, 2013
Today was my 78th birthday. So many beautiful cards, emails, phone calls from all I love and I know love me.. I really do try hard not to focus on the numbers, but they are there loud and clear.. I try and soften the reality by focusing on living in the moment and being so grateful for all that I have. A surivor tool that is beyond important, it is what allows you to enjoy the joys and not even think of the alternatives…when I say alternatives, I mean thinking of what happens later on and when and what of..why even go there? What is the purpose of that thinking, even though, it is reality? Who needs reality, when fantasy is so much more inviting! Fantasy allows you to think whatever you choose, without emotional chains. The chains of overthinking about what you cannot change. The what if’s, the should haves, the could haves, and the not haves. I choose joy, and what an effort it is to think joy, when you feel sad. It does work though, one can control one’s thoughts.You can dwell in the past forever, or talk to yourself and go down the list of haves. I love the emotional lists. I list all the people and things that I am grateful for on one side, and on the other, what makes me feel so empty.. The grateful side always wins, so far so good. I had dinner tonight with my New York son, daughter in love, and granddaughter, and I felt complete. Coming home to an empty quiet apartment, of course, made me think of not being with my husband…but I was ok..as I once said, pity parties are necessary in life, but just don’t stay too long at the party. I look in the mirror, but not in a critical way, that would drive me crazy to focus on every flaw. I put makeup on in the am and then the mirror is not an essentail part of my life..and I like what I see. Erma Bombeck said one morning,”who’s the old lady who moved in last night?” I hope I will always be able to call myself a thinking woman, without the old lady intro….and to all the women out there….Happy Day!!! Numbers? For the lottery only!
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
I’m staying with my 16-year-old granddaughter, while her parents are traveling. Last night, she had a bit of a nightmare, and asked to sleep with me. Of course I said yes, and then she asked for a story. That was our routine so many years ago. It was very late and I didn’t think I could come up with anything at such short notice…but once I started, the words came. This is what I told her.
There is a place deep in the woods. It takes a very long time to get there. But, you were determined to go. Unexplained forces that seemed to come from the universe, were pushing you forward to this journey. Well, you finally got to the destination you were supposed to be….a huge door covered with floral vines and beautiful sounds coming from the other side that you could hear. Music that was so beautiful and magical. Music that made you feel good from the inside out, and covered you with a powerful positive feeling of joy. You couldn’t wait to get the door opened….but not easy to do. It was steel and heavy beyond description. Seemed like an impossible task to open. You kept trying though, stopping to rest every so often…but you were relentless in your desire to open the door, and to
experience what was on the other side. Pushing, shoving, leaning your body against the door with all your might, and after a very long time it opened, every so slightly, but enough for you to see inside. It was everything you could have ever imagined an overwhelmingly glorious place to be.You laughed because even the animals were playing musical instruments. A young boy came up to you and said “Welcome to Peace of Mind. It took you a very long time to get here, and we all know what you accomplished, in using all the emotional and physical strengths you possess to be here. We honor honesty and integrity and truth as the essential element to living with Peace of Mind. You can live life to the fullest and accomplish life’s dreams…You will be ready to leave shortly, and take the words of one of our oldest visitors, Edith Wisdom…”You take yourself, wherever you go.” So go now and always remember how to give yourself peace of mind. Your mind is amazingly strong..Positive thoughts, a spiritual living mantra, being kind to yourself and others, nourishing food and people, deep breathing, and a glorious vision of a place called peace.”
She was fast asleep, and I wonder how much she heard..Well someone heard! Today her guidance counselor called to say she was doing very well in high school. In California, my youngest grandson just won his election as Veep of his school, his older brother attending Oxford for a semester and seeing a bit of the world. Good Karma and Peace of Mind are priceless. My wish for all who have just read this blog.
Walking on Central Park West in the 90’s, my canine Havanese grandson had a brief relationship with a Poodle/Yorkie mix.
The conversation went like this: She said your dog is cute, what’s his name? I felt I had to say your dog is cute, and what’s his name? We exchanged dog names, not human ones.
I added that I was taking care of Lucky while my kids were away, and also my teenage granddaughter. He’s much easier.
She said, I have a 36 year old grandchild living with me and it doesn’t get any easier.
She wasn’t smiling.
When I applied for my first passport in my 20’s, I showed my birth certificate. “This is not a legal document.” I was told. Someone crossed out Paulette Molly and wrote in Paula Irene. I was then told if my mother was still alive, it would be an easy fix. I would have to prove I was entered in school with the name of Paula Irene and the name would legally be changed. My Mother chose the name Paulette Molly…of course when she came home from the hospital, she was given many opinions about the name choice and under duress, she changed my name to Paula Irene. I honor my Mother’s first choice by writing under the name of Paulette, and since my last name began with S…you do the letters…In the 50’s everything was monogrammed, but not for me.
Have always used ice water on cotton balls to wake up morning skin..feels great and if you leave the water on your face, moisturizer will absorb quicker. Just read about leaving soup spoons in the freezer, and then using them on your eyes in the morning for any puffiness…just tried and it works. Since I have very little food in my freezer, a couple of soup spoons will now reside there.
I have several friends who are always asking me for cosmetic tips. Any little suggestions that I post are what I use, and I have no personal connections to the companies. Organic extra virgin coconut oil is a fantastic cream/oil for face, body, and hair. Use very sparingly and massage gently to be absorbed. Has a lovely scent as well.
70’s…..I need to be held and kissed.
60’s….I want to be held and kissed.
50’s….I would like to be held and kissed.
40’s….I would like to find a husband.
30’s….I have a husband and would like to be held and kissed.
20’s….I can pretty much get any guy to hold and kiss me.
Pathetic can be obsessing and talking about your voids constantly……but
Yearning is normal.
Desire is normal.
I was so fortunate to have what Sixto Rodriguez sang about in his haunting lyric…”the sweetest kiss I ever had was the one I never tasted.” I have tasted and I have known great love and as always thinking new hopes, dreams…miracles????