Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Sorry A Bit Rusty

My last post left out a most important word . Dr. Wilson quote should read “‘If you’re always trying to avoid difficult feelings, you might end up cutting yourself off “from love and richness and sweetness.”

Article in todays New York Times by Erik Vance

Change may bring anxiety, but those who learn to accept uncertainty could be rewarded. The words of Erik Vance definitely hit a core within me. September has memories for me that are my happiest and also my saddest.
In my book Circle I compared the beautiful fall leaves to an aging woman . One moment of colorful glory and then dried up crumbling in the street. Obviously I don’t take my own words to heart.
This article ends with a paragraph and words of Doctor Wilson , University of Mississippi professor…… “Autumn will probably always hold some whisper of decay and mortality for humans. But embracing that sadness is important.
If you’re always trying to avoid difficult feelings , you might end up also cutting yourself off “from love and richness and sweetness,”’Dr. Wilson said. This is how life is: sweet and sad , poured from the same vessel in equal measure .”

Another reason in my opinion to practice a mindfulness life philosophy for peace of mind. Make the moments count. Relish and cherish them.

My creativity has been under a mask during pandemic. Well it’s over and it’s time to write again, even small posts . I hope everyone is well and back to living the new normal . My new idea is to have more community tables in local restaurants. Too many people alone in their apartments not always happy to eat alone. I’m fortunate to have friends to eat with. I would still like the choice if I feel like going out to sit with others . People need people. Yes, if you feel like being alone, you’ll always have the choice.
a few times, I have seen women eating alone and asked if they would like company. Always a yes and conversation was easy and appreciated the gesture.
I’ve spoken to several restaurants and now wait and see.
stay well everyone💌




I try to turn nightmares into dreams. It can be done by removing all toxic people and thoughts. I always try and turn experiences that are not positive into life lessons. I remind everyone that the Internet is a place to be very cautious. I’m on many social networks and rarely if ever do DM on Twitter . I have not accepted over 200 requests on Instagram and keep a small account. All are private. Twitter DM are usually deleted and at times, when necessary blocked.

Your beautiful Friendship Garden must always be protected.

Hope everyone is getting back to a form of normalcy . We live in a crazy world and always important to keep our own world filled with nourishing food and people. As I always believe. Kindness should be contagious.

Happy almost Spring all.

Mommy Destroyer

Oh the things that we remember. At this stage of my life I choose to practice selective memory. This event has stayed with me forever.

His name was Frankie LaRotunda. I met him for one hour at the airport. He was 18 and with my cousin going off to war. Korean War, Both in Army fatigues. Both so young. I was 15, at the airport with my mother and aunt. Frankie and I spent time talking and I was in love. He told me he played the trumpet.

We wrote to each other every day, sometimes twice for many months. I was giddy. He was my boyfriend. When his letter was received, I quickly went to my room to read his innocent, but longing words. All appropriate for 15 year old eyes.

I made the mistake and shared my joy with my mother . A terrible mistake. She was not a bad mother. She did what mothers did in “those” days.

She wrote to my cousin to put an end to my joy. to somehow stop Frankie from writing me. What he did was heinous. He lied to me. He wrote that Frankie was reading my letters out loud to everyone and laughing. He said I should stop writing him. i was horrified and never wrote Frankie again. Frankie was heartbroken writing every day why I had stopped writing him. My tears at times wiping away the ink and his words. I felt betrayed. He made fun at my expense. . It didn’t seem possible!!

My heartbreak came many years later in my late 20’s when my cousin confessed his lie. He said what he did, was to appease my mother. It just wasn’t true. A made up lie …. and then he told me that Frankie really loved me too.

I found out how cruel people can be and told myself to always try

to be kind.

I still to this day remember Frankie with sadness.

September 11

A day of reflection and remembering. Kindness to one another might be a way to honor all who died that sad day.🗽💐

I arrived home from the grocery store and saw that the celery was brown and had to be returned.
Realized the net bag of organic oranges was huge. More than I thought. Checking the bill, I realized I wasn’t charged for the oranges…..Back to the store the next day. I didn’t want to get the cashier in trouble for her mistake. I decided to just put the bag back where I found it. Then re thought that idea. Received celery credit and left oranges at Customer Service. I went back to produce department and asked the woman working there if they had any smaller bags of oranges.
She told me to open a net bag and take whatever I wanted. “I’m the produce manager, and when you check out, just say A gift from Jess.”
I then told her about my return to customer service. Smiled and said Karma at work . Thank you Jess.


It’s that time of year. It’s still summer according to the calendar. Emotionally though, reality and September on my mind. I’ve been in Virginia since May and back to NYC in September. Always a wonderful loving time with family and friends. Outer Banks beach vacation next week. Always wonder-filled. I’m going to only think of the moment. Mindfulness practice is the best. Packing and the news is being pushed out making room for happy positive thoughts. Im always working to achieve peace of mind.

Wishing everyone Happy August Joys. Enjoy the moment

Wonderful Words