Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

A Touch of Normalcy

It’s been over 7 months of semi isolation. Decided to actually go out for dinner with a friend . Outdoor dining of course. She went over to the restaurant a few blocks away, to select a table as far away as possible from other diners. I can’t say I was super relaxed being served by a waiter wearing a mask and gloves. I was happy because all the tables were filled. My favorite restaurant in my neighborhood. The manager was happy to have people again. The food was good and we promised ourselves no politics discussed . It felt a little normal until the check arrived. We would usually freshen our lipstick. Instead we put on our masks to go out in the Twilight Zone. Stay healthy.


 

Sleep Whenever

Does it really make any difference what time you go to  bed or get up in the morning/afternoon? I live alone during this “time of the masks.” It makes no difference, except to wake up!!!! My daughter in law after 1pm, had my resident manager check on me. He was relieved to find me alive, and I was relieved to be wearing sweats…No need to have anyone check if  I’m breathing. I’m watching television shows I would rarely watch if not for isolation and crazy times. Two essentials. Mindless and not political. Takes my mind off reality. so bring on  90 Day Fiancé,  Married At First Sight, Love Is Blind…….Well you get my point. Also new routine. Text my daughter in law when I’m up.

I don’t binge on food or alcohol, but for sure, addicted to getting away from reality to watch “reality” shows. Staying up until the wee hours and enjoying every minute……with ABSOLUTELY no guilt. Yes, there are good books to read and music to listen. Don’t feel like it At least I’m motivated to do my exercise routine everyday and desk cycle every night for one hour. That’s about it. Clean my apartment and outside occasionally. Face Time with family and friends. Oh, and I remember to eat. Pescatarian so it’s easy.

Saying sane and positive even though I rarely if ever see my family who live the other side of town.

It is what it is, and is what it isn’t, Sleep well ALL………… BE WELL…….

Anything Really Change?

Michelle Obama feeling a little depressed. I think we all have a feeling of sadness for what was once our lives. Continue to feel grateful for all I have . Sadly as a friend said” our old age is being stolen from us.” Still can’t whine because hopefully we have years ahead of us. I fear between now and November, there will be ugly times. Frightening words and deeds. I live with sameness not really being with family or going out. When I do go out with my mask and see others with masks, I’m in the Twilight Zone. No one has lived like this, so it’s our emotional tools that get us through the days.
My go to mindless tv, is 90 Day Fiancé . Love the foolishness and feel no guilt enjoying to the Max.
Sorry to repeat, but isolating is repeating every day and night trying!!!!…I do have a new routine that I love.Desk Cycle. Every night for one hour pedaling to nowhere watching tv.. Not going to give grateful list, but it’s there. I’m trying so hard to be strong and hopeful. Wish I had loads of bread recipes to share. I don’t have one, nor do I care. If anyone interested in the healthiest oatmeal recipe, please ask . I would feel motivated and useful to share.
We will get through this. We have no choice.
Wish you all good health. Physical and emotional. A virtual hug in there too. I really miss hugs!!!

How Are You All Doing?

We’re living in such uncertain times. We have no answers to comfort us. Watching the news 24/7 can be debilitating to say the least. The number of cases keeps going up. We have no plan. We need to have hope that life will go forward with positive energy. My heart aches for all the sickness, loss of jobs, racial inequality, loss of businesses. The dreams people had are now shuttered stores. I know families are using this time being creative and loving. Others not so fortunate. I was involved with domestic violence cases many years ago. Sadly, because of isolation , other families are suffering, not thriving. Children have to get back to schools, but at what cost to them and the teachers? I’m sorry to sound so negative, but my feelings are mixed with frightening thoughts. I’m still isolating having no desire to go outdoor dining. Difficult to concentrate and read. What works is a Mindfulness life . Continue my exercise routine and try to live in the present. …. and of course the ever present gratefulness for all I have. I’m not in a bunker. Hope you’re all safe and healthy. If baking sourdough bread, gardening, trying new recipes etc etc works. Sounds great. I think I’ll make oatmeal.

Isolation

I can’t believe it’s taken this long for me to write about isolating and quarantine experience. Perhaps some can relate to the malaise feeling that is now part of my life.Motivation? Not so much… I’m not someone baking sourdough bread, learning a new language, or starting a big puzzle , not even a small one. No new recipes on the horizon . I hope this doesn’t turn into a rambling post. I know all about being grateful for family and friends. I Zoom, FaceTime, and just talking on the phone and communicating is essential. I know I have running water and air conditioning. I wasn’t fired as so many Americans live with. Financial ruin and living with fear. I’m sad for all the wrongs in this world. I’m hoping and believing the numbers for this virus will go down and healing in this broken country begins in November . I wear a mask and social distance . I don’t understand why you wouldn’t . It’s not political, it’s scientific evidence.
I know practicing Buddhist philosophy, doing nothing is something. Batteries are recharging.
Not doing anything negative. Not drinking Vodka with a straw or putting on 20lbs going to the refrigerator every 10 minutes.
Continue to do my exercise routine every day. Not emotionally healthy to obsess when???? No plans for Virginia. No plans for anything…. at this time .
Daisaku Ikeda said “Winter Always Turns To Spring.” Yes, we live with fear and uncertainty for now, but hope is forever. I still hope for a better country.
May you all stay safe and healthy🗽🍀🧘‍♂️❤️

Sad

This country is bleeding

Change

I very rarely post anything political, but have been emotional this last week. The news gets worse everyday, sadly. Watching memorial service for George Floyd.
There have been peaceful protest marches in all 50 States. Some in front of my building where I live , giving me the opportunity to be part of a moment in history.
If only everyone who marched, will march to the polls and vote. Then, the streets can be used for dancing and celebrating.💙🍀💙🍀💃🏻
Hope you’ll dance with me . Be healthy and safe .

I remember very clearly. I was a child. Probably under 10. I was visiting in Florida with my Papa. Over 70 years ago. We were boarding a bus. We were treated with harsh words by the bus driver . He told my grandfather to sit in the back. I was going with him, and the driver said “no” you sit in the front. I did what he said. My Papa was born in Palestine, now Jerusalem. He looked like Anwar Sadat’s twin. His skin was dark. His sense of humor intact. He wasn’t upset. I remember the experience with sadness . Although segregation no longer exists, hatred is flourishing.

 

 

The New Normal?

Is this the new normal ? Living with fear of the unknown? Cancellations, people working at home, shopping for three weeks of supplies, empty shelves of antibacterial everything, being told I’m  very vulnerable and need to stay away from younger family members, museums, schools, colleges , concerts, sports, Broadway and the list goes on. I’m usually mellow and try to live in the moment . Right now, the moment is fear. Not feeling very creative and hope my next post is more positive. I have a special birthday in April and cancelled party in May. Not complaining. Simply want this virus contained and do our part to slow this Coronavirus . Sending positive energy, less anxiety and hope for all reading this to have good health and be safe.

 

Social Noise

I was invited to a lovely event. Swan Lake Ballet. Then a cocktail party for 250 people after the ballet. I knew two people. The two I was with. I felt that I needed to announce that I don’t do very well making conversation with so many I don’t know. What I know is myself. I’m friendly and quite secure with one on one. If I needed to be outgoing for business I would be able to easily. Fortunate the two women I was with respected my wish to quickly find a table and people watch alone. I was with a very close relative and a close friend. They didn’t question or judge my need not to mingle.

We walked into a huge room and all the tables were taken. Small cocktail tables. Karma was on my side. I spotted one lone table in the back and made a fast beeline securing the table.

The three of us had a fun conversation and not one word of just social noise.

A lovely evening. Without!!!