Beginning.. We met at a writing workshop. I was a wife and mom from New Jersey, and she was a single career woman living in New York City.
What we had in common? A drama filled writing group run by a drama fused published well-known writer. An ad in New York Magazine literally put us all together. Our “teacher” raves about our very questionable talents.
Barbara and I become instant friends since we seemed to be the most normal students. She liked my idea about a novel I was working on. I discovered I didn’t actually like my main character. She was recently divorced, and dating for the first time since her virgin bride days. Her first three dates fit their astrological traits to a perfect t. Why not go down The Circle of Animals path and see if the next nine fit as well.
The character was not relatable to me. Not someone I would like as a friend. When I mentioned the premise to Barbara, she quickly suggested doing it together.
“I’ll do it with you. We can divide up the signs. I’m sure I’ve had a few in my life.”
It seemed like a good idea at the time….but….there were many buts to come.
The Process.. When my husband died suddenly, my grief was unbearable. I ran away from New Jersey. My life as I knew it was over, and when I was ready, I would create a new one in New York City.
Barbara said there was a one bedroom available in her building. Easy to have writing meetings. I created Kate and she created Frannie. A slew of characters from both our imaginations. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t convince Barbara to have Frannie evolve and not be one-dimensional, bordering boring. I always envisioned both women to be equal in their journey. Not one more important than the other.
After about five rejections Barbara wanted to give me the book. ” Everyone likes Kate. It’s her story. You do it on your own.” This was suggested to me several times and each time I gave her the same answer…No. You make Frannie more likeable and relatable.
There was resentment building. Barbara never realized putting the book together would be so time-consuming and difficult. No surprise to her that I was not tech savvy and due to hand problem, I wrote my half by hand.
We are as different off the page as on. Many times she wanted to curtail Kate. I never would allow Kate’s spirit edited, nor did I edit Frannie.
At the time we had an editor/agent. She suggested changing the original title Circle of Animals to Circle. When we had differences, she sided with me so Kates positive energy and quirky traits stayed in tact. She also agreed with me to make the character of Frannie stronger. Sadly she was terminally ill at the time and no longer able to work.
The writing process took over forty years from idea to decision to self publish. I was in New Jersey for most of those years. In my opinion, we didn’t try hard enough to get an agent. I also thought the story line was diminished when the entire back story was integrated.
Completion..Started when I moved to N.Y.C. One morning outside my apartment door was a white cardboard box. The first version of Circle with a pretty note card.
Barbara knew the completion of Circle was very important to my husband. He always told me that many aspects of the story were ahead of its time. After Barry’s death, Barbara said “what can I do?” I was so self involved with grief that just breathing was a chore. I said “lets finish our book” and we went to work, thirteen years ago.
I was excited that her character was becoming more interesting. She gave her personality. I created Timothy at the Taurus/Taurus party and she developed the character and he became her lover. Terrance was a wonderful addition to the cast of characters. Jim, Kate, Frannie, etc….I loved them all. Barbara continued to make negative snide remarks about Circle after almost every writing meeting. I never gave up having positive thoughts about our project.
After almost forty-three years we received the proof. I was overwhelmed with joy to see the cover and published book. Circle was born.
So many years of us going to dinners and toasting Circle. Now it was a reality. We were able to toast the success we hoped would occur. I called Barbara and said “let’s celebrate and have dinner.”
“There’s nothing to celebrate” was her answer.
The End in more ways than one, sadly……..You may wonder why we stayed with Circle. Barbara working full-time and putting the book together in her spare time. Probably furious that I was out and about. It’s true that she took my pages and turned them into Circle. I acknowledged her inside the cover. When two people write a book, the togetherness in writing and discussing can be a creative process that works. It’s also aloneness, like giving birth. Circle in many ways, came through her birth canal.
So, what kept us together through it all? Friendship. And that’s what Circle is about.
PS We are going to have a celebratory dinner together. I know my forever Virgo love will be right there. His energy has never left me.
PSS Now we have to figure out together HTF to market out book!!!!!
My BFF is the same age I am. Actually she’s older……by a month. We have known each other since we were five. We deliberately don’t dwell on our number. Why would we? What we do is relish the energy and venues of NYC. But, every now and then we talk about “it”……….and then quickly change the subject.
In golf terms, “we’re on the back nine.” A lot can happen finishing up a round of golf. You can win on the 18th.
There are quotes that hit the emotional mark about age. “A woman who tells her age will tell anything.” Oscar Wilde. I BTW tell my age..
Rosemary Harris when asked if she was really 90 by Glenn Close said, “I’m 91. My last decade–it’s almost frightening because you push it away. But it’s there hovering, all the time.” At the moment she’s on Broadway performing in My Fair Lady, so obviously she’s pushing.
I hope physically and emotionally to keep pushing.
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” Satchel Paige
It’s that time of year…..so everyone reading this….I wish you Happy Holidays and the good health to enjoy!!!!! May 2019 be fulfilling and joyful.
Circle: What goes around comes around
— Read on www.amazon.com/gp/aw/sitb/B079QLJ6NY
I know what its like to be loved, I know what its like to be desired, I know what its like to be without romantic love, I know what its like to still desire. I have zero complaints. Having a soul connected love for almost fifty years, not without its problems, is a wish I wish for all the single women who have never known such love. The void is covered gently, but with a strong steel grateful protector. The internet is not a place I will meet another love. I may never meet another and that’s perfectly ok. I’m forever grateful for the loves, not romantic, that I have in my life. Family and friends as I have always said, “my emotional transfusions.” Not sad today even thought it’s gloomy outside. Having a lovely cup of Lemon Verbena Tea, with honey, cinnamon, turmeric, and at the bottom of the cup…
View original post 107 more words
I know what its like to be loved, I know what its like to be desired, I know what its like to be without romantic love, I know what its like to still desire. I have zero complaints. Having a soul connected love for almost fifty years, not without its problems, is a wish I wish for all the single women who have never known such love. The void is covered gently, but with a strong steel grateful protector. The internet is not a place I will meet another love. I may never meet another and that’s perfectly ok. I’m forever grateful for the loves, not romantic, that I have in my life. Family and friends as I have always said, “my emotional transfusions.” Not sad today even thought it’s gloomy outside. Having a lovely cup of Lemon Verbena Tea, with honey, cinnamon, turmeric, and at the bottom of the cup, a surprise, a piece of un- crystalized ginger, productive in my apartment, and writing a little post just to say to anyone who reads this, that being ok is a lot better than not being ok,. Now, am I happy? That’s another subject altogether. With news as it is, difficult to have the innocent happiness I once had. Am I able to feel joy? Of course. So as I said, I’m really ok. Hope you are too……Just realized the clocks change this weekend. Dark at 4ish, and it takes me days to adjust. It just means my hibernation will start soon and that brings me great contentment………..Time to cozy in…….
“The only cure I have ever known for fear and doubt and loneliness is an immense love of self” Alison Malee
When you learn how to intellectualize your emotions, you’re in charge and that’s empowering.
The heart and brain must work as a team. Self love means respecting and protecting yourself. Be with those you trust and a red flag is exactly that.
Your intuition and common sense… also a great team.
It’s all about how important are you… to yourself.
A few emotional tools I use…. constantly .
A great feeling when my niece loves my tips on nutrition. Lovely when you make a difference. A positive influence. We all get that feeling when we want to eat everything that’s not crawling. I remember before I discovered trigger foods that make you hungrier….. that you can eat all you want of certain very filling and nutritious foods. I remember being hungry and eating a pretzel…..then another…then another. crunchy and salty. Then a handful of surgery cereal and then another handful….granola actually and full of sugar. I might add being fortunate, I never had a weight problem. The most I ever wanted to lose was 8 pounds, but when you have a very slender and small figure, that’s a lot. I knew after age 50, certain foods were not allowed in the house. Chips, anything fried, all animals for food……I became a pescetarian . A vegan that eats dairy and fish. Someone once told me that nothing tastes as good as feeling thin feels….. I put my own slant on and say nothing tastes as good as feeling healthy feels. Body image is very different for different people. I realized I have to eat several meals a day. This I have been doing for over 50 years. I never realized that health wise, it was something I had to do, having mitral valve prolapse. If you don’t eat several meals a day, you get very anxious. It has to with the autonomic nervous system. It works for me to always have nuts or dried fruit with me at all times so I’m never hungry. So, back to what you can eat that is filling and a few tips. Always have on hand in the refrigerator a few of these veggies…….washed and cut up celery, colored peppers, radishes, carrots, string beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, and super greens. humus is a great snack as well. Especially the ones made with olive oil. Not a combination of various oils. . Water based veggies are filling. When I’m in Virginia, my sister-in-law, the wonderful cook, always has veggies ready to eat. She has jicama, radishes, onions, garlic, turnips, and every veggie known to man. It’s so much better there, because she has such a variety. If you enjoy dark chocolate, try the darkest, with a few almonds…. I am so used to 95-100% that anything sweeter is too sweet. Speaking of which, I don’t have a sweet tooth, because when I was growing up, we never had pastries for dessert, we had fresh fruit. I read about nutrition and it seems sugar is the villain. There is sugar in almost everything and the easiest thing to do is read ingredient’s. If I buy canned soups, I buy low sodium and organic. Amy’s are wonderful. I adore good bread and that’s why it’s never in my home. When I go out, that’s my treat. Lots of it with olive oil. For me so much of a treat instead of any dessert. It’s easy to open a can of beans when hungry and add some mustard. Gourmet mustard on celery works.. The more sugar you eat, the more you want to eat. Same goes for carbs. Scandinavian Crisp Bread. GG is not only filling, but very high in fiber. I’m not a nutritionist. I only know you have to eat. And we are what we eat. The older you become, the more you realize that eating is for pleasure, but first and foremost, for nutrition, So when you have hunger pangs, don’t have chips…….. open your refrigerator and see the beautiful array of colorful veggies to satisfy you. Cheers to your good health….
I found almost impossible to find this nutritious seed Not Made in China. I finally found the best. I have nothing to do with the company. All I know is this. Proudly Made in Oregon and this is printed on the back. Calcium,Iron,Magnesium,Potassium, Zinc… VitaminsA, B1, B2, B3, B6, CDE.
You can google Seed Oil Company. I did and purchased on Amazon. Pricy, but better than the cost of pastries and unhealthy snacks. Cheers to your good health🤗