Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Thank you

I am so delighted when I see someone new is following my blog. Thank you kindly and please feel free to leave comments. I answer every one and would enjoy reading what you have to say.

I said I never would and I did. I went back on Tinder. For a good reason. Being interviewed again and needed to be on for the story line….and then off forever and forever. I have learned some great lessons that I would like to pass on once again if you’re on any dating site. Never give your personal contact information unless you have actually met the person. Don’t spend time and energy texting unless you feel you have a real connection, if that’s possible. Probably not, so don’t be disappointed. Have very low expectations and then be surprised. Unless you just want a pen pal, save information about yourself until you have a coffee or drink.. I had such a funny experience today, I needed to share… I was matched with a dermatologist, 68 and looked much older. We did share many of the same interests…so this was the communication. He…Where are you from…Me…I live in Manhattan…He..please do me a favor and send me three more photos of yourself. One without sunglasses, and two close up. I would also like to see your Instagram account.How old are you really? You’re not 81… { BTW my Tinder profile picture is me standing up next to a fake bear taken in Virginia and the bear has a sign, no whining…I look like the picture and it was very sunny out that day and I have on sunglasses, also true age from Facebook.}
Me…..I’m not a mail order bride.
……….and then I deleted him.
The only site I truly trust is, because they protect their members and it is much more than a dating site. It’s a community. I enjoy doing events and getting some pretty terrific women together…Now that’s fun.
I have heard wonderful stories about people meeting on-line. But it will just NEVER be for me. Not negative thinking either, just totally realistic. Not giving up hope that I could meet a terrific man, but it will be the old fashion romantic way…….maybe….

Thank You

I appreciate new followers to my blog. Its always a lovely feeling to have people relate to my words and I send heartfelt thanks.

It sounds so simple, but so true. I’m always asked what I do to stay thin. I actually don’t consciously do anything. It becomes a way of life, because nutrition has always been a way of living since childhood. My brother at the time didn’t like canned foods. My mother never had sweets for dessert. We had fresh fruit. She was once criticized by her sister for spending money on out of season fruit. I remember my mom asking how much the chocolate cake was her sister just purchased. It was more.
Not that she was nutritionally savvy. She wasn’t and we had fried foods with bad oils many meals.
Over 50 years ago when we were raising our sons, I became very aware of what was a good way of eating. Fruits and veggies, not processed foods. very little deli. Whole grains only…. I did make meat and fish for them. Everything in moderation, but still low on sweets and fast foods. I baked cookies and the only store cookie was Pepperridge Farm because of the ingredients and Breyer Ice Cream because that too was all natural. My sons immediately traded their whole wheat sandwiches with peanut butter for fluffernut on wonder white bread. We never had soda in the house except ginger ale if sick.
I remember when they stayed for dinner at a friends. There were four boys in the family and each son had a friend their age. They came home and said they had the best dinner they ever had and could I please get the recipe from their friends mom. It was great fried chicken, apple sauce, and peas in a pretty silver tray I called Mary and of course she told me the “fabulous” meal she prepared was a TV dinner…very popular at the time and something I never had in the house.
So the big treat whenever my husband and I went out, was to buy TV dinners for the boys and the baby sitter.
So now everyone is all grown and happy to say my sons appreciate and tell me “Mom you were ahead of your time.” Nice to be appreciated at any age.
My point in doing this post and I don’t pretend to be a nutritionist. What I do just works. Instead of having three meals a day, I have always grazed all day. I eat when I’m hungry. I eat what is known as fattening foods and I don’t gain a pound. I eat avocado every day. Almost every kind of nut. Dried fruits in moderation. A square of dark chocolate in the morning. No butter, very little if no salt. no fast foods or processed deli foods.Carbs in moderation. I happen to be a pescatarian, a vegan who eats fish and dairy. I eat eggs. 7 glasses of water. There’s really no secret. The secret if any, is knowing what to eat. A can of beans, even organic is very inexpensive and one of the healthiest foods. Hummus is a staple. My niece tells me all the time that I’m very disciplined. I am and being five feet one, additional weight is just that. Added pounds that accumulate over the years. Not obsessive about what I eat. I listen to my body and I enjoy food.
In this country obesity is a major problem, especially in children. Food shouldn’t be your enemy, but you need to know what to eat. If you have a sweet tooth, have a bite or a tablespoon, not huge portions. Going to a party, have two glasses of club soda before you start drinking and eating.
The worst is the word diet. It often means losing 40 pounds and gaining 50. Anyone I know that want to lose weight is either drinking too much or eating too much. It’s just that simple. Changing your life style isn’t.
It takes discipline. It’s worth the work I wish you all Healthy Eating and Happy Times.
BTW If you want to binge. Buy zero fat, zero salt organic popcorn. Nuke and when hot, add some olive oil. Eat the entire bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Great Feeling

When my grandchildren called me cool, I thought it was fun, because I have never done or said anything to be “cool.” I think that would be uncool.
What is sheer joy is having several of their friends wanting to be Facebook Friends. That to me is very cool. That is truly flattering and gives me yet more purpose to inspire.
I wanted to do a YouTube with my granddaughter called 80/18…A Conversation. Talking about everything two single women would find sad and also amusing, and interesting. A line of communication stretching across generations. When I asked her if she would like to do this with me….her answer, was “I’m good GaMa.”
Translation: No Way!
I will be doing another interview soon about Community, and also being single at this age and stage in my life.
Hoping to get the link from Global News Brazil. That was a fun interview with two fantastic evolved women from Stitch.
The single world at any age can be daunting and also exciting because you just have to have the attitude of “you never know.”
I find something every day to reinforce my gratitude. A necessary energy to always remember.
Hope you all keep posted and perhaps to share some happy news. YOU NEVER KNOW!!!!

I really don’t spend a lot of time and energy thinking of what I used to do There are too many “what I do now”. I did love to cook, and also played golf. Both are in my past. I have discovered that if someone can make a meal better, let them. I have also discovered if I want to eat oatmeal for dinner, who’s going to stop me? Of course my oatmeal is an entire meal. Oats, crunchy almond butter. golden berries, cinnamon, variety of nuts and fruits. My favorite is a one meal dish. I can eat on a pretty basket in bed watching Netflix. Another favorite is an omelet with veggies. Of course all organic…My big thing to actually make is wild salmon or any cold water wild fish. The easiest way is on top of the stove in a covered pan. It never comes out wrong. Another tip. When you have a container with overflowing greens that would take a month to eat, just put in a pan with a tiny amount of olive oil and saute. It ends up as a tablespoon of green good health. I’ve gotten to the stage where marketing is annoying. One or two items fine, but why do I end up feeling like I’m carrying 50 lbs of things that I have to wash and put away. Hope this doesn’t sound like I’m complaining. I’m not, and would never, not when I can get up and out, and never think of the age thing. It seems everyone else thinks it’s some kind of miracle to be a certain age, and still be breathing, let alone standing on my head, yoga, weights, and walking, jazz concerts, Carnegie Hall, films, Lincoln Center, Manhattan Theater Club and just about anything with a positive vibe.
Global News Brazil came to my apartment on Monday, and we had an interesting, fun interview for Stitch. I asked two Stitch members…. Women who are evolved and fantastic. I hope it went well. You never know with editing etc. I mentioned my children and grandchildren will see the tape and I just want to come across with dignity. My son was funny and said to smile. (meaning don’t talk too much.) This interview was for a show that has to do with dealing with aging. I asked if there could be no labels. I’m a woman first and foremost.My purpose is to inspire others and always has been. My other purpose is to leave a legacy for family. Wisdom is paramount to pass on, and when I can, I certainly try. So I said to please not use words like senior, golden years, old, octogenarian, and so many others. In another interview I said vintage is good..It’s value increases with age. When I think of Maggie Smith, Susan Sarandon, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Cecily Tyson, Angela Lansbury, Dame Helen Mirren, Dame Judy Dench , Bette Midler, Barbara Streisand, Tina Turner……the list goes on and on. My point being, I can think of so many words to describe these magnificent women, and their age is not necessarily one of them. I’m not ashamed of my age. I’m quite proud, but I don’t want to be defined by a number. Coco Chanel ” You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life.”
Had a crew here Monday. Two women producers, and a camera lighting guy. All terrific and received email from the News Producer saying we were inspirational. Now that’s a label I would love to keep.
Satchel Paige said it best. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”

Well, I broke up with Tinder, and I can say with all truth, I will never go on again. They did get some good press recently, and I do know people have actually met on the site. There was just no reason to stay on, since I wrote all there was to write about catfish. Tinder is loaded with them and they became boring and annoying, rather than someone to catch and write about. I feel safe on More a community than a dating site.
I have no proof, but I feel very strongly that I was the oldest person on the site. I wrote them asking, but never received an answer. I do have enough sense of self, to know I am not interested in men ten years younger than my sons. No matter how much they tell me age doesn’t matter. It does. On the other hand, ten or fifteen years younger sounds pretty good to me. Very good!!!
I did meet one man and the story could be not only funny, but happy. I can’t say anything because he lives far away. Age appropriate. He wanted to meet immediately for a drink which I liked. I was on the bus coming home after a lovely evening with my friend at Lincoln Center. I’m somewhat spontaneous….it sounded great, but I had to do some rewriting, and it was late. Lesson one, I should have gone. We started to text, and I have a feeling we would have TALKED for hours. I didn’t and since I stop myself from ever saying I should have, could have, or would have…..such a waste of time and energy….but…..I should have.
Hopefully he will visit NYC again, and we’ll meet. My belief in serendipity sustains me. If it’s meant to be, it will be…..and so it is and so it shall be. He was so far and above the rest. We found it humorous that we met on Tinder.
So, all the rest were too young, too tattooed, too anxious to “Kuddle”, too needy, way too weird, too enamored with a dead fish, too anxious, too married, too unappealing, too far away, and not even Mr. Maybe Wonderful….What I’m trying to say in a very simple way.
I will not only not pay to go on a dating site, I will never go on Tinder even though its free. If Mr. Could be Wonderful visits and wants to meet for a drink, perhaps another story. I believe I still have many untold stories to be told. Stay tuned……….

The End Of Summer


mother nature is a man and other observations..

“Deep Summer is when laziness finds respectability.” Sam Keen….I refuse to use the word depressed. Prefer denial and easier to deal with. Speaking with my brother this morning, a retired psychiatrist who soon will be 85, we briefly touched on the fact that time is fleeting by. As we get older, it does seem to go faster….and yet faster. What I have said before I will say again. “I will not say, where did Summer go.” I know where it went, it just seems like Spring arrived. To over think , will end up depressing me. Magical thinking on my part, is to just stop the clock. Physically I can’t do that, but emotionally I can just stop looking and listening to the ticking away. So as banal as it sounds, and you hear it over and over again. No choice, but to live in the moment and rejoice.Exalt in…

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Overheard Conversation

Metaphor..”a word or phrase for one thing that is used to refer to another thing in order to show or suggest that they are similar.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
Two women talking on the bus. One explaining to the other what a metaphor is….”you can’t go home again.”
This brought memories back to me. High school reunions for one. For me, and this is just my opinion, certain memories should be left back in 1952, when I was a twirler and then a flag swinger. What joy at all the football games and parades. I think if I tried to swing a baton, I would hit myself in the head and get a concussion for sure.
I did go to a few reunions and stopped. We all change of course, but I like changes to be gradual, not all at one time in a large bare room with most not recognizing each other…..and then a really bad dinner. Not to say it doesn’t work for those who love reunions.
I also remember when my husband, and his life long friend decided they wanted to revisit their old dorm room at Wharton. We were at a Penn football game, and then visited their room. The young guys looked at them as though aliens from another planet invaded their space. It was a bit awkward to say the least.
Driving past my home in Maplewood, New Jersey was a jarring experience. Our very beautiful very contemporary home nestled in with old colonials stood out looking so different. We loved the Cubist design. We loved everything about our home. We raised our sons there and celebrated our lives. I remember a humorous story. My youngest son was driven home one day from school. He was about 10. I was looking out the window for him and I saw his carpool drive past our home and in the driveway next door. He waved goodbye and then walked home. After a kiss hello, I asked why he was let off at our neighbors. He said the woman who was driving asked what kind of crazy people live in the strange-looking house. He answered, “Oh they’re very nice.” We had a good laugh over that one. It was a good lesson in not judging and respecting individuality.
It was not a pleasant moment in time driving past memories. It was painful and I fantasized about living there again as a young mother with a wonderful husband and two fantastic sons.
I can’t. I’ll never go home again.
New York City my home now. A pretty good place to hang out in…. New Memories…..

One year ago and still live by these words

mother nature is a man and other observations..

These are words that I read on Facebook and there was no author to give credit …..I  love the words…

Don’t regret knowing the people who come into your life.

Good people give you happiness.

The worst ones give you lessons.

And the best ones give you memories…….

Personally I believe all regrets and guilt…..a complete waste of time and energy. On a personal note, I have had happiness, I have had many lessons, but more importantly I have the very best wonderful memories.

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