Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

2018

I wanted to start the New Year with a positive post. The end of January, I am hoping to do a post about my book being self published with my co-author. Started over 40 years ago, we finally decided 13 years ago to finish and finish we did. Will write about the process when I know the availability to share.
“When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, you are healed.” david avocado wolfe
Our book is fiction. By the way.
Not to be maudlin, but the holidays are quite different when you live alone. I never allow myself to feel lonely, because I am fortunate to be surrounded with loving and caring family and friends. But, it is just not the same and it never will be without my husband. I have learned to practice mindfulness every single day, not to allow the voids and sadness to invade, and take over my gratitude. We can control our thoughts since we put them in there and we can take them out… Strength meeting vulnerability and sensitivity in a head on collision….and strength must triumph!!
I often think what it would be like to be in love again.
Hope the New Year brings everyone reading this Good Health and Life’s Joys!! and don’t forget that eating healthy is a choice. A good one. My New Years resolution? Not to have one.

Leaving 2017

Another year, and certainly grateful for more than I’m sad about. Your emotional plus lists can come in handy when necessary. Just think of all that you have and the voids seem a little less painful. We start a new year with many hopes, dreams and those resolutions that are usually kept for about ten days, if that. As you all know, I always recommend eating healthy, and keeping in mind that living in the moment works when your moments are in good health. The dreams and hopes seem to go from one year to the other. The control you have over your thoughts and what you eat can be controlled by you. Christmas Eve I was at a warm and wonderful party. All ages and all just wanting to have fun. I met a young woman in her 20’s and very fulfilling to have her write down some of my suggestions. One was to practice breathing exercises, a most important exercise for health. Hatha Yoga, a gentle form of yoga focusing on stretching and breathing. Yoga laughter sounds weird, but your body and mind are not aware that yoga laughter is a bit forced, but a laugh is a laugh. What you do when you’re young can affect the quality of your life as you age. Balance is so important and flexibility. Running and Ashtanga Yoga may work for some, but the gentle form of Hatha Yoga and walking at a fast pace 20 minutes a day may work as well. Many of my friends who used to run have had knee and hip replacements. My grandmother lived to be 99 and walked from her kitchen to the bedroom. I once read that lifestyle has more to do with your quality of life than your genes. Stress is something we all have, and I’m not talking about the extremes or tragedy. the usual normal day stress we all deal with. It is how we deal with disappointments, heartbreak,and of course realism that defines us. Fantasy and dreams should always be a part of our lives. Realistically I know I will probably never meet another great romantic love, and it’s ok. I was one of the lucky ones having had a man who loved and adored me. I don’t take that lightly ,and I know his energy is with me everyday. I’m not about to be committed to a “happy place,” but I talk to Barry everyday. Part of my Buddhist practice is a prayer to someone who has died that you loved. I feel his energy and know he “knows”, because I’m Awake.
2018…….the book my co-author and I finally finished and publishing, will actually happen in February. It’s genre is Women’s Humor Fiction, not literary, but edited, and we think a good read. because the characters are likeable and relatable. Hope some of you read and enjoy.
I find the older I become and certainly grateful for the years, the less I put up with people I don’t get and they don’t get me. It just fine because I have enough of the “wonderful others.” I love nourishing people from the same planet I’m from……and my emotional tools that really work. “If you don’t care, I care less.” It sounds harsh, but if said with a smile and not in anger, it works. No room for negative thoughts or people. Selective memory and denial are my favorites……and my role models, in their 90’s… I wish all reading this the most wonderful New Year ahead. A healthy one with laughter and joys galore…..and of course an abundance of love, and some dark chocolate everyday.

The Holidays

They can trigger sadness. They can create joy!! Very simply, I choose joy.
I wish all who are reading this post, the most Wonder-filled holiday season and may 2018 bring you endless joys!!!!

The Book

It feels like a lifetime ago when my co-author said “let’s do it together” when I told her my idea for a book. We started it so many years ago, and we came up with many changes, but the bottom line, women’s humor fiction, and the main story is about two very unlikely women who meet under unusual circumstances and become friends. There is a little get back plot that has a touch of humor, and then of course
Wall Street, astrology, love, intimacy, and success stories. We sent out about six times and received very nice rejections, and instead of sending out even more query letters, my co-author wanted to get on with it and get a publishers stamp. It seemed like a good idea at the time to self publish, and there doesn’t seem to be a stigma anymore, since someone won the Pen Award and self published. There are success stories when a book does well and a publisher picks it up. Whatever, we decided to go the route of, for me, the grueling process of re writing and re writing and re writing. We have an excellent editor who is also doing the cover, and now the book is going to be written in book form to be published. We have another excellent woman who is doing this. All at a cost, I might add. Then it goes to Amazon and Create Space. We had other choices, but asked a few I know who have self published and they are pleased with Amazon. I’m not going into all the legalities and mind-boggling “things” you have to think about. I say this jokingly, but seriously, not joking. This book almost broke up a 40+ year friendship with my co-author. We are as different as the characters in our book. Very much, two unlikely women who became friends at a writing workshop. She had no clue what she was getting herself into. She has a full-time job. We live several floors apart from one another in the same building in NYC. She told me about the apartment I ended up buying. We occasionally have dinner together and December 2 we are going to have a bonding experience going to a shredding place to destroy every piece of paper re the book. Thousands of pages over a 13 year period finishing our book, although it started years and years ago.
My grand-nieces 13, 10, and almost 4 are somewhat more tech knowledgeable than I am. I know I can write, but putting it all together, not my thing. At my age, I’m happy to have a blog, and on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Many women my age aren’t even on the computer, so proud of what I can do, but know my limitations. Barbara actually made the book a reality. The amount of time was endless and so were my changes. I wanted it to be as good as possible. I wanted the book to be genuine and have integrity and I believe it does. Every time I read the book, I saw more changes that needed to be made. I remember speaking to Ronnie, a dear friend who got me officially published on Interfaith family.com, We met as friends and she became instrumental to me over 13 years ago helping and editing the articles that were published when she worked there. She assured me . Telling me that writers sometimes find changes every time they re read their books.
It’s getting close to the cover being completed, and all the other finishing details…….finished. Barbara and I are still talking and while I wouldn’t write a sequel for a million dollars, I’m still happy she’s here on the tenth and I’m on the fourth in case we need each other. Still friends. Still respecting our differences.

Politics and Politicians

I realized a long time ago that the news is something I need to filter out. Anything about child abuse, animal abuse, women abuse, killings, well anything that can be upsetting upsets me more than an average upset. I remember over thirty years ago, an astrologer telling me I should rarely watch bad news, because when you’re on sensitive overload, it takes away your energy, and nourishing yourself is not easy to do with bad and depressing news. I find compartmentalizing a wonderful emotional tool.
So with all the news that has been coming at us, very simply I know I can’t apply logic to illogical situations and the energy it takes to try can be depleted.
So I try to focus on all that is good and all that I am grateful for and live my life.
It’s really the only way, and it’s empowering……

Clocks Change etc etc

I used to volunteer in a psyc unit and when there was a full moon the patients were agitated, and I read a full moon can definitely affect ones mood. I do believe that the more sensitive your nature, the more you are affected by everything. News News and News to make a point at the moment. That one hour does make a difference with me and the way I notice, is that I have to work harder on myself to stay in the moment with gratitude and not focus on the what if’s or voids that have still stayed voids……but still not giving up on hopes.
This will be a short post and just wondering how the hour change affects you, if at all.
I think in my next life, the sensitive gene might be lightened up a bit………

Well, for me it’s the only way to achieve peace of mind, and in this crazy world, we all need some peace in our mind. It takes discipline and time. The rewards will eventually nurture you, in a subtle and then very obvious way.
It’s essential to have control over your thoughts. You create and produce them, so you have to be able to rid yourself as well. Why clutter your mind with negative thoughts and people. They can consume you and your energy.
First you have to let go of old habits and learn new methods. Acquire and develop emotional tools that work for you. Use them over and over again until they become natural.
For me personally, I push away with yoga and meditation. I also use certain words like “out out” and it seems to allow me to act in a positive mood. Yoga laughter is another method and you literally laugh out the negativity. Make it work.
On the road to a mindfulness life is knowing that there are dangerous trigger words. Could Have, Should Have, Would Have and Guilt…”out out.” What a waste of your time and energy. There are no do overs, but always new beginnings.
Meditating for five minutes with a soy candle and listening to soothing music, quiets the mind and soul. Nourishing your body with nutritious foods is part of the new habits to form. It’s all worth it.
…….and if you are able to eat…a wonderful way to start the day….a square of very very dark chocolate.
Wishing you sweetness in your lives. Take the best care of yourself, since it’s the only relationship that definitely will last as long as you live.
Please feel free to ask me any questions and I reply to all comments. I appreciate you reading my words.

Thank you

Just a quick post to say thank you to all new followers. And of course to ones who have stayed with me. I sincerely appreciate your comments and hope to share some good news re the book that is finally coming out. This concept started when I met my co-author at a wild writing workshop. 40 years ago and of course many updates over the years. We only sent queries about seven times and received good feedback but still rejections. Many agents said it might make for a good film. The book is basically about friendship, a little astrology, Wall Street, a fun plot and of course love. It’s a good feeling to be proud of a creative project. We decided to self publish and have a wonderful editor and book cover artist. Will write another post when it’s on Amazon.
My wonderful husband Barry died almost thirteen years ago and wanted me to finish the book with Barbara. He kept asking me “when?” Well love, it’s happening soon.
Forever loved, Forever missed. Your birthday would have been 9/13. Would have been. We had so many that we shared. So many years together and forever grateful.

Sugar etc etc

I was raised having fruit for dessert and rarely any sweets. So its easy for me not to have a sweet tooth or craving for pastries, and all the other dessert like treats. It seems with many, sugar is the enemy. One of the easiest solutions re craving sweets is having a square of chocolate, as dark as you can tolerate, every morning. Dried fruit is also a good choice because there should be no added sugar and the variety is endless. Eating healthy can become a habit. I have never put on weight eating almost a cup of nuts daily. I need to eat many meals a day, never the three meal thing. I spent almost three months in Virginia and that meant eating vegetables of every variety and color every day. The usual ones mixed with the unusual. Raw and cooked. We never had sweets for dessert, and with all the veggies and grains consumed at dinner, we had no appetite for more after our meal. We dinned European style as well. Fresh soups filled with several kinds of beans and veggies of every color, and of course grains. The American way of eating doesn’t seem to work very well with obesity so prevalent. I have heard people say it’s too expensive to eat healthy. Not true since a can of beans is less than a cake. The saying “you are what you eat” is real. Aging is inevitable and what you want to strive for is quality of life. You can’t have that being grossly overweight, and you can do something about it No one force feeds you. Write down everything you eat in a day and substitute some raw veggies for chips. It’s really about choices. I have people ask me what I eat. Actually I’ve never dieted, and I eat what I like or what my body tells me to eat or what I need. Hummus is my everyday food. Everything in moderation is a given. Try the healthy route, you might like the road to feeling better. Please read all ingredients and try to stay clear of words you can’t spell or pronounce. If a binge in arriving, eat the entire bag of unsalted organic popcorn. I get the no oil kind, and add two caps of olive oil. Not for everyone, but seaweed snax are delicious and they have ones without sugar.
I’m just saying!!!!

Can We Be Just Friends?

Sorry for misspelling platonic. Thank you Ronnie for telling me. Forever friend and editor….

mother nature is a man and other observations..

I’ve been a widow for almost 13 years. Tried Internet Dating and realized it wasn’t a good pass time for me. I have met  some nice men that I would be platonic friends with. They seem to have no interest, and I understand, somewhat . I would enjoy another romantic love, but chemistry is the essence, and if that’s lacking, romantic love is not possible. I once read that with  any relationship between two straight, opposite sex, someone wants more….. than friendship. That seems to me sad because then the possibility of platonic rarely exists????. I’ve met a few men I would enjoy friendship with, but never worked. OK then, you don’t want to be just friends. I get it.

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