Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Insomnia

A

Nightmare

I try to turn nightmares into dreams. It can be done by removing all toxic people and thoughts. I always try and turn experiences that are not positive into life lessons. I remind everyone that the Internet is a place to be very cautious. I’m on many social networks and rarely if ever do DM on Twitter . I have not accepted over 200 requests on Instagram and keep a small account. All are private. Twitter DM are usually deleted and at times, when necessary blocked.

Your beautiful Friendship Garden must always be protected.

Hope everyone is getting back to a form of normalcy . We live in a crazy world and always important to keep our own world filled with nourishing food and people. As I always believe. Kindness should be contagious.

Happy almost Spring all.

Mommy Destroyer

Oh the things that we remember. At this stage of my life I choose to practice selective memory. This event has stayed with me forever.

His name was Frankie LaRotunda. I met him for one hour at the airport. He was 18 and with my cousin going off to war. Korean War, Both in Army fatigues. Both so young. I was 15, at the airport with my mother and aunt. Frankie and I spent time talking and I was in love. He told me he played the trumpet.

We wrote to each other every day, sometimes twice for many months. I was giddy. He was my boyfriend. When his letter was received, I quickly went to my room to read his innocent, but longing words. All appropriate for 15 year old eyes.

I made the mistake and shared my joy with my mother . A terrible mistake. She was not a bad mother. She did what mothers did in “those” days.

She wrote to my cousin to put an end to my joy. to somehow stop Frankie from writing me. What he did was heinous. He lied to me. He wrote that Frankie was reading my letters out loud to everyone and laughing. He said I should stop writing him. i was horrified and never wrote Frankie again. Frankie was heartbroken writing every day why I had stopped writing him. My tears at times wiping away the ink and his words. I felt betrayed. He made fun at my expense. . It didn’t seem possible!!

My heartbreak came many years later in my late 20’s when my cousin confessed his lie. He said what he did, was to appease my mother. It just wasn’t true. A made up lie …. and then he told me that Frankie really loved me too.

I found out how cruel people can be and told myself to always try

to be kind.

I still to this day remember Frankie with sadness.

September 11

A day of reflection and remembering. Kindness to one another might be a way to honor all who died that sad day.🗽💐

I arrived home from the grocery store and saw that the celery was brown and had to be returned.
Realized the net bag of organic oranges was huge. More than I thought. Checking the bill, I realized I wasn’t charged for the oranges…..Back to the store the next day. I didn’t want to get the cashier in trouble for her mistake. I decided to just put the bag back where I found it. Then re thought that idea. Received celery credit and left oranges at Customer Service. I went back to produce department and asked the woman working there if they had any smaller bags of oranges.
She told me to open a net bag and take whatever I wanted. “I’m the produce manager, and when you check out, just say A gift from Jess.”
I then told her about my return to customer service. Smiled and said Karma at work . Thank you Jess.

August

It’s that time of year. It’s still summer according to the calendar. Emotionally though, reality and September on my mind. I’ve been in Virginia since May and back to NYC in September. Always a wonderful loving time with family and friends. Outer Banks beach vacation next week. Always wonder-filled. I’m going to only think of the moment. Mindfulness practice is the best. Packing and the news is being pushed out making room for happy positive thoughts. Im always working to achieve peace of mind.

Wishing everyone Happy August Joys. Enjoy the moment

Wonderful Words

www.brainyquote.com/quotes/aristotle_143026

Plato

“Every heart sings a song, incomplete until another heart whispers back.”’

Back in Virginia

It was a strange surreal year, never thinking I would be traveling again and visiting my second favorite family and friends State and my better State of Mind. Everyone tells me I sound happier here. In NYC I have my family and a few friends. And a new wonderful friend . Sonia and I are both Taurus and we had instant friendship, Most everything I do has a ticket attached. Well, all venues were closed and I stayed isolated most of the time. Visiting my son, daughter in love and granddaughter eased the pandemic for me and Sundays were a joy. My birthday was a virtual one. We all had dinner from a fabulous restaurant Marea and a cake too . Each in our own space. We made do. The masks ?? I rarely went out because walking and sort of breathing with a mask didn’t work very well. My desk looked like a pharmacy. Wipes, masks, more wipes and every sanitizing liquid. Paper towels and toilet tissue lived under my bed. The telephone was my emotional tool talking every day, many times a day to family and friends. My granddaughter thought I was dealing very well being alone. I wanted to continue to inspire her and not think of jumping off the roof too often. I value her professional opinion as well since she recently received her Masters, and will be working as a therapist in family counseling .
So now fully vaccinated with a sense of peace. Not always wearing the mask and back in Virginia. Suburban life style instead of city life. Not alone. Living and loving once again being with my sister in law and my Virginia loves. I have been to more parties, cocktail times, wine tasting, dinners and patio parties. and events since May 25, then the last years in the city. Only one wonderful woman Sam had fantastic holiday and dance parties and she has moved. When settled she said she’s going to continue.
So why don’t I entertain? Very simple. I just don’t feel like it. Before I was a widow, I did. Now I don’t and no one I know does. My daughter in loves dear friend Sue has holiday dinners. They are festive and fun. Bottom line. I have more fun in Virginia. Best news . My sons and granddaughter visiting in August. My nephew will be visiting too. Have Outer Banks Beach week to look forward to. All my Virginia loves will be together. Chatting with my sister in law every day and night is perfect. Her daughter and family a few blocks away and my niece and great grand nieces the bonus and joy.
NYC is my home and I leave the exquisite shades of green and all the trees and flowers , all I love, and in a cab from Penn Station I see buildings. I’m alone again. But not for long. I will see my city loves soon and feel forever grateful to have New York New York And Virginia. Very grateful🤗

Quarantine Chat

Hopefully a 6 hour train ride will stimulate my creativity. I’ve been trying to write about this wonderful app. I’ve been on since February. It is definitely not a dating site and you chat with people from all over the world and the states. I’ve spoken to over 50. Several new people following my blog. I didn’t start out to inspire, but how lovely when that happens in a very natural way.
Gathering all my stories to do a post I hope everyone will enjoy. If anyone told me something personal, I will not write their story .
So here’s hoping a very long train ride will be productive.

Again wishing everyone to be safe and stay healthy.😘