Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

camp costume exhibit Met… Tiffany

I need to practice “less is more.” Otherwise, I will  get all emotional and end up embarrassing those I love the most. So keeping it simple. My youngest grandchild , my only granddaughter, will be finished with college  tomorrow . Leaving Thursday to experience her achievements. Well deserved honors, three graduations. My two grandsons graduated college last year.  Spent their college years in a very positive way. Always thinking of those less fortunate.

What I know…..My three grandchildren, in their own way, I have no doubts, will make this world a better place, a kinder place, and a place that deserves them.

Proud??? Is there a stronger word? Above and beyond proud and forever grateful they are in my life.

 

Moon over Manhattan🗽

Thinking about going to the gym, but it’s raining out. Oh wait, the gym is in my building. I’ll have to find another excuse. I will🤗

Noises…….Not Necessary

I read that “if you’re over 60 and wake up with nothing hurting,  you’re dead.” (unknown.)

Seems there’s some truth here.

I’ve been practicing Hatha Yoga for over 40 years, and consider myself flexible. Physically and emotionally. But, I’ve noticed getting in and out of Lyft (car sharing service) in the city, there seems to be too much noise coming from me in the way of grunts. No matter how lady like, still a grunt.

I decided while I was in Virginia to try to curb the noises. Not using a car service here, but still in and out of my sister in laws car, (and may I add, not a huge van.)…….I’m still grunting. Also in and out of chairs.

I made a conscious effort to stop. I surely don’t need the additional focus on age related sounds. That’s another post all together and may I add that “denial is a wonderful thing.” said by Kitty Carlisle many years ago, and timeless.

So far so good. I am quite disciplined and this is another way of practicing.

The new me….sans the grunts. Silence is really golden.

I would like to sincerely thank all new followers. I appreciate your support.

 

Beginning..    We met at a writing workshop. I was a wife and mom from New Jersey, and she was a single career woman living in New York City.

What we had in common? A drama filled writing group run by a drama fused published well-known writer. An ad in New York Magazine literally put us all together. Our “teacher” raves about our very questionable talents.

Barbara and I become instant friends since we seemed to be the most normal students. She liked my idea about a novel I was working on.  I discovered I didn’t actually like my main character. She was recently divorced, and dating for the first time since her virgin bride days. Her first three dates fit their astrological traits to a perfect t.  Why not go down The Circle of Animals path and see if the next nine fit as well.

The character was not relatable to me. Not someone I would like as a friend. When I mentioned the premise to Barbara, she quickly suggested doing it together.

“I’ll do it with you. We can divide up the signs. I’m sure I’ve had a few in my life.”

It seemed like a good idea at the time….but….there were many buts to come.

The Process.. When my husband died suddenly, my grief was unbearable. I ran away from New Jersey. My life as I knew it was over, and  when I was ready, I would create a new one in New York City.

Barbara said there was a one bedroom available in her building. Easy to have writing meetings. I created Kate and she created Frannie.  A slew of characters from both our imaginations. No matter how hard I tried, I  couldn’t convince Barbara to have Frannie evolve and not be one-dimensional, bordering boring. I always envisioned both women to be equal in their journey. Not one more important than the other.

After about five rejections Barbara wanted to give me the book. ” Everyone likes Kate. It’s her story. You do it on your own.” This was suggested to me several times and each time I gave her the same answer…No. You make Frannie more likeable and relatable.

There was resentment building. Barbara never realized putting the book together would be so time-consuming and difficult. No surprise to her that I was not tech savvy and due to hand problem, I wrote my half by hand.

We are as different off the page as on. Many times she wanted to curtail Kate. I never would allow Kate’s spirit edited, nor did I edit Frannie.

At the time we had an editor/agent. She suggested changing the original title Circle of Animals to Circle. When we had differences, she sided with me so Kates positive energy and quirky traits stayed in tact. She also agreed with me to make the character of Frannie stronger. Sadly she was terminally ill at the time and no longer able to work.

The writing process took over forty years from idea to decision to self publish. I was in New Jersey for most of those years. In my opinion, we didn’t try hard enough to get an agent. I also thought the story line was diminished when the entire back story was integrated.

Completion..Started when I moved to N.Y.C.  One morning outside my apartment door was a white cardboard box. The first version of Circle with a pretty note card.

For Barry

Barbara knew the completion of Circle was very important to my husband. He always told me that many aspects of the story were ahead of its time. After Barry’s death, Barbara said “what can I do?” I was so self involved with grief that just breathing was a chore. I said “lets finish our book” and we went to work, thirteen years ago.

I was excited that her character was becoming more interesting. She gave her personality. I created Timothy at the Taurus/Taurus party and she developed the character and he became her lover. Terrance was a wonderful addition to the cast of characters. Jim, Kate, Frannie, etc….I loved them all. Barbara continued to make negative snide remarks about Circle after almost every writing meeting. I never gave up having positive thoughts about our project.

After almost forty-three years we received the proof.  I was overwhelmed with joy to see the cover and  published book. Circle was born.

So many years of us going  to dinners and toasting Circle. Now it was a reality. We were able to toast  the success we hoped would occur. I called Barbara and said “let’s celebrate and have dinner.”

“There’s nothing to celebrate” was her answer.

The End in more ways than one, sadly……..You may wonder why we stayed with Circle. Barbara working full-time and putting the book together in her spare time. Probably furious that I was out and about. It’s true that she took my pages and turned them into Circle. I acknowledged her inside the cover. When two people write a book, the togetherness in writing and discussing can be a creative process that works. It’s also aloneness,  like giving birth. Circle in many ways, came through her birth canal.

So, what kept us together through it all? Friendship. And that’s what Circle is about.

PS We are going to have a celebratory dinner together. I know my forever Virgo love will be right there. His energy has never left me.

PSS Now we have to figure out together HTF  to market out book!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Age Thing

My BFF is the same age I am. Actually she’s older……by a month. We have known each other since we were five.  We deliberately don’t  dwell on our number. Why would we?  What we do is relish the energy and venues of NYC. But, every now and then we talk about “it”……….and then quickly change the subject.

In golf terms, “we’re on the back nine.” A lot can happen finishing up a round of golf. You can win on the 18th.

There are quotes that hit the emotional mark about age. “A woman who tells her age will tell anything.” Oscar Wilde. I BTW tell my age..

Rosemary Harris when asked if she was really 90 by  Glenn Close said, “I’m 91. My last decade–it’s almost frightening because you push it away. But it’s there hovering, all the time.”  At the moment she’s on Broadway performing in My Fair Lady, so obviously she’s pushing.

I hope physically and emotionally to keep pushing.

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” Satchel Paige

It’s that time of year…..so everyone reading this….I wish you Happy Holidays and the good health to enjoy!!!!!  May 2019 be fulfilling and joyful.

 

 

Circle: What goes around comes around
— Read on www.amazon.com/gp/aw/sitb/B079QLJ6NY

I’m Really OK

a correction

mother nature is a man and other observations..

I know what its like to be loved, I know what its like to be desired, I know what its like to be without romantic love, I know what its like to still desire. I have zero complaints. Having a soul connected love for almost fifty years, not without its problems, is a wish I wish for all the single women who have never known such love. The void is covered gently, but with a strong steel grateful protector. The internet is not a place I will meet another love. I may never meet another and that’s perfectly ok. I’m forever grateful for the loves, not romantic, that I have in my life. Family and friends as I have always said, “my emotional transfusions.” Not sad today even thought it’s gloomy outside.  Having a lovely cup of Lemon Verbena Tea, with honey, cinnamon, turmeric, and at the bottom of the cup…

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