If good health allows it, four words to follow…..Don’t think about it!!!!!! A young Twitter follower once tweeted. Age is just a number, not a limitation. Selective memory becomes very important and denial is way up on the list as well. Living in the moment should become your mantra……..”Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” Satchel Paige
“It takes a long time to become young.” Pablo Picasso
To be a good friend? Not always at your convenience. Be there when needed at their convenience. Be there when they’re together. Be there when they’ve fallen apart. Be there when you can tell just by the sound of their voice, the tears are being held back. Be part of the emotional glue helping to put them together. Laugh with friends and cry with friends. Exalt in the sun together and dance in the rain holding their hands. Cry with friends. If needed, gently suggest therapy . You’re a friend, not trained to deal with very serious issues that may need medication. and professional help. Self therapy may come later when they get stronger and they are able to utilize emotional tools that will be given them in times of severe stress.
And always be there. Not leading, not pushing, but walking side by side, by their side.
A dear friend……..Priceless
I might be doing a post on experience with what appeared to be a catfish personality. He or she never asked for money, but something more important. Trust. At my age,and with my experience volunteering with the police department on a domestic violence crisis team, a rape support team with the hospital, years in dealing with women’s issues, I was certainly not the type to take the bait of a catfish. Not formerly trained, but have what is called “street smarts.” My purpose has been to inspire, and write about topics that would be helpful, and that women could relate to. My email is on my blog, and would appreciate any stories you would like to share about experiences with a catfish. They are pathological liars and growing all the time on social networks. Women take the bait because they are looking for emotional and romantic connections…. Some simple rules to follow. If name is not on goggle or some social networks, it’s probably fake. Don’t think their photographs are real, if you don’t meet, you don’t know. Spend as little time as possible emailing and chatting. After a few, meet and if not possible, then video chat. They won’t do that because you will see the real person. Talking on the phone is not enough proof.
I was doing a little research and baiting as well, because I wanted to beat him/her at their own game. Not easy to do. I sent pictures which I would never advise doing, and my email which also don’t do under normal circumstances. You have to know they have a need to deceive., you don’t want to be their victim. Any stories that are sent to me, please know I will not use your name. You might feel empowered taking the power from the catfish and sharing your story.
Catfish belong in the sea, not in your life…..A liar is a liar is a liar.
Interesting, when I confronted the person, they took offense and said I was paranoid instead of realizing they originally sent me false pictures , told me we would have a video chat which we didn’t, false information about not having children, and other lies. They took little responsibility for why I lost trust. Emailing once again, they said everything from now on would be truth. Still no video chat which would prove somewhat who they were. I can’t prove 100% that I was right, but in the beginning it was all lies and that was enough for me.
Perhaps this is all I need to say on the subject. This was not a pleasant experience, but one to learn by. A disappointment perhaps, but just another one of life’s experiences that turn into lessons.
Not strangers. They spoke and they wrote to one another…..and then they met. A second date. Her apartment…
The human touch missed for so long. Over ten years……… They had an immediate attraction for one another, and together experienced intense passion and desire for hours, just being together on her couch. He knew how to kiss and hold her. She considers that an art form that not all men know how to do.
He said “I don’t want to leave.” She said, “I don’t want you to leave. Two consenting adults one desire, but she asked him to leave.
What was she thinking. He left.
Was he hurt? Was the age difference too different? Was it all too soon?
She never found out.
Regrets? She has a few. Very often it’s what we don’t do that we regret most.
She never forgot him.
“Close your eyes fall in love stay there.” Rumi
We become our experiences and they become our lessons. pm
noun…” a strong belief something will happen or be the case in the future.”
We all have expectations. Perhaps we should sit back and think about our expectations of ourselves and others. Are we disappointed more often than not? Perhaps we should have expectations only of ourselves. Seems to be more of a control window of opportunity. For others? Not so much. Do more realistic thinking and less magical thinking.
The older one gets the less expectations of “others” and the result? Fewer disappointments.
The lower they become, the more surprised you become when others do what you think they should. Be surprised rather than hurt. That is a waste of your time and serves no purpose.
My husband died suddenly and I had false ideas of how friends would “be there.’ They also had their own plans for my grieving process and how soon “I should get over it.” As if I had some virus that would come and go. My loss? I never got over it, but I did get through it with love and comfort from family and true and wonderful friends. They never led me or pushed me, but walked side by side with me.
So, I guess the point of this post is: Expect the most from very few. Expect the least from most……..and your disappointments will be a thing of the past.
but, then again……….
“The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.” Blaise Pascal
I have been busy celebrating my big birthday. First in California with my family….Wonder-filled experience. My sons together with their wives together and three grandchildren, all enjoying each other. 21–19–18..Is there anything better? No….If that wasn’t enough, I arrived home, back to NYC and within two days left for Virginia and North Carolina to be with my brother and family there. What fun going to the Outer Banks in North Carolina and staying at a Victorian mansion on the beach. Ten bedrooms and what fun. So generous of my nieces husband. 12 of us actually enjoying each other for a week. The last four weeks has been family working in the most loving way. ….then back to Virginia for another two weeks. My sister-in-law could win a prize for the best cook and the ability to make me feel loved and cared for. All in all, the best birthday celebration I could ask for.
Will be back shortly with new blogs. Have had some unsettling experiences with I believe to be a catfish personality and will try to write a little warning to women.
Hope everyone reading this is well and enjoying summer sun shine and many joys. xo