Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

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Anything Really Change?

Michelle Obama feeling a little depressed. I think we all have a feeling of sadness for what was once our lives. Continue to feel grateful for all I have . Sadly as a friend said” our old age is being stolen from us.” Still can’t whine because hopefully we have years ahead of us. I fear between now and November, there will be ugly times. Frightening words and deeds. I live with sameness not really being with family or going out. When I do go out with my mask and see others with masks, I’m in the Twilight Zone. No one has lived like this, so it’s our emotional tools that get us through the days.
My go to mindless tv, is 90 Day Fiancé . Love the foolishness and feel no guilt enjoying to the Max.
Sorry to repeat, but isolating is repeating every day and night trying!!!!…I do have a new routine that I love.Desk Cycle. Every night for one hour pedaling to nowhere watching tv.. Not going to give grateful list, but it’s there. I’m trying so hard to be strong and hopeful. Wish I had loads of bread recipes to share. I don’t have one, nor do I care. If anyone interested in the healthiest oatmeal recipe, please ask . I would feel motivated and useful to share.
We will get through this. We have no choice.
Wish you all good health. Physical and emotional. A virtual hug in there too. I really miss hugs!!!

How Are You All Doing?

We’re living in such uncertain times. We have no answers to comfort us. Watching the news 24/7 can be debilitating to say the least. The number of cases keeps going up. We have no plan. We need to have hope that life will go forward with positive energy. My heart aches for all the sickness, loss of jobs, racial inequality, loss of businesses. The dreams people had are now shuttered stores. I know families are using this time being creative and loving. Others not so fortunate. I was involved with domestic violence cases many years ago. Sadly, because of isolation , other families are suffering, not thriving. Children have to get back to schools, but at what cost to them and the teachers? I’m sorry to sound so negative, but my feelings are mixed with frightening thoughts. I’m still isolating having no desire to go outdoor dining. Difficult to concentrate and read. What works is a Mindfulness life . Continue my exercise routine and try to live in the present. …. and of course the ever present gratefulness for all I have. I’m not in a bunker. Hope you’re all safe and healthy. If baking sourdough bread, gardening, trying new recipes etc etc works. Sounds great. I think I’ll make oatmeal.

Isolation

I can’t believe it’s taken this long for me to write about isolating and quarantine experience. Perhaps some can relate to the malaise feeling that is now part of my life.Motivation? Not so much… I’m not someone baking sourdough bread, learning a new language, or starting a big puzzle , not even a small one. No new recipes on the horizon . I hope this doesn’t turn into a rambling post. I know all about being grateful for family and friends. I Zoom, FaceTime, and just talking on the phone and communicating is essential. I know I have running water and air conditioning. I wasn’t fired as so many Americans live with. Financial ruin and living with fear. I’m sad for all the wrongs in this world. I’m hoping and believing the numbers for this virus will go down and healing in this broken country begins in November . I wear a mask and social distance . I don’t understand why you wouldn’t . It’s not political, it’s scientific evidence.
I know practicing Buddhist philosophy, doing nothing is something. Batteries are recharging.
Not doing anything negative. Not drinking Vodka with a straw or putting on 20lbs going to the refrigerator every 10 minutes.
Continue to do my exercise routine every day. Not emotionally healthy to obsess when???? No plans for Virginia. No plans for anything…. at this time .
Daisaku Ikeda said “Winter Always Turns To Spring.” Yes, we live with fear and uncertainty for now, but hope is forever. I still hope for a better country.
May you all stay safe and healthy🗽🍀🧘‍♂️❤️

Change

I very rarely post anything political, but have been emotional this last week. The news gets worse everyday, sadly. Watching memorial service for George Floyd.
There have been peaceful protest marches in all 50 States. Some in front of my building where I live , giving me the opportunity to be part of a moment in history.
If only everyone who marched, will march to the polls and vote. Then, the streets can be used for dancing and celebrating.💙🍀💙🍀💃🏻
Hope you’ll dance with me . Be healthy and safe .

The New Normal?

Is this the new normal ? Living with fear of the unknown? Cancellations, people working at home, shopping for three weeks of supplies, empty shelves of antibacterial everything, being told I’m  very vulnerable and need to stay away from younger family members, museums, schools, colleges , concerts, sports, Broadway and the list goes on. I’m usually mellow and try to live in the moment . Right now, the moment is fear. Not feeling very creative and hope my next post is more positive. I have a special birthday in April and cancelled party in May. Not complaining. Simply want this virus contained and do our part to slow this Coronavirus . Sending positive energy, less anxiety and hope for all reading this to have good health and be safe.

 

Social Noise

I was invited to a lovely event. Swan Lake Ballet. Then a cocktail party for 250 people after the ballet. I knew two people. The two I was with. I felt that I needed to announce that I don’t do very well making conversation with so many I don’t know. What I know is myself. I’m friendly and quite secure with one on one. If I needed to be outgoing for business I would be able to easily. Fortunate the two women I was with respected my wish to quickly find a table and people watch alone. I was with a very close relative and a close friend. They didn’t question or judge my need not to mingle.

We walked into a huge room and all the tables were taken. Small cocktail tables. Karma was on my side. I spotted one lone table in the back and made a fast beeline securing the table.

The three of us had a fun conversation and not one word of just social noise.

A lovely evening. Without!!!

Trust

I realized how important trust is. How rare you can truly trust someone to do the right thing. To be genuine and have integrity isn’t always a given.

What’s most important is to trust yourself to make the right decision. Be careful what you say to someone. Trust in your own intuition. The less you confide, the better the outcome.

I haven’ t written in a while, but wanted to share a little thought with a large impact.

Happy Winter All

Quiet Time



It’s been a while since I posted. I feel creatively, it’s been a quiet time. I’m sure you’ve all gone through a time of reflection . I adored Lucky, my kids Havanese, he was an integral part of my life… taking care of him whenever they went away . I adored him, and as animal lovers know, they love back. He died in June at 14. It’s difficult for me to be at their home without feeling his loss. I know it gets softer with time. I had three of my own and your furry loves stay in your heart and soul forever. So, dealing with that and other issues regarding changes in my life have taken some of my passion to write, to another place. I finished and self published Circle. My co-author who actually put the book together, although we wrote our characters and the rest of the book together, decided after only 7 rejections to self publish . Definitely not my choice. Also  my choice to not try Internet Dating sites again. A rather empty feeling to think I may never meet a wonderful new love again……. But, all that aside, I do realize all I have to be grateful for, far outweighs my voids. I knew the joy being loved and adored by a wonderful husband. I have family I cherish and the feeling is mutual. I hopefully am in good health and will stay that way. I enjoy doing fun things with friends and NYC’s  endless energy. So perhaps my quiet time is just a moment in time to recharge.

I hope so!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

what the catapillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly – Google Search

what the catapillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly – Google Search
— Read on www.google.com/search

Happy Weekend

Remembering

Dear Lucky,

You became an integral part of my life when I needed you the most.

I became a widow. Grief followed me. Constant shadow .

….and then you arrived. Lucky Buster. My canine grandson. You gave love and kisses from day one.

A few more weeks and you would have lived to be 14. A warrior fighter cancer twice.

You died when I was at the beach in North Carolina with 15 Virginia family and friends. You were in the hospital with Mommy and Danielle . They saw you lift your head up, as if to say goodbye as you left for The Rainbow Bridge🌈. They kissed you.

You gave unconditional love. Unlimited kisses whenever I asked .

It was my good fortune to take care of you whenever your family went away.I loved our times together. Walking in Central Park and chatting on a bench. Always time for kissing and snuggling.

The last time I stayed with you was our last time together. 10 wonderful days, even though you were on 9 medications. You weren’t in pain. Just fighting, and you were frisky too.

But, you knew it was our last time.

There was never a time you didn’t kiss me. I held you and said to kiss me if you would be there in August.

You wouldn’t kiss me.

Lucky forever missed , forever loved. Gama

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened .” Anatole French