Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for May, 2016

I Admit I Know Nothing……..about Politics

I think at the age I am, I do know about women’s issues…. Knowing what clothes to keep, so I go shopping in my closet is something I know about. Raising terrific loving sons, and hopefully giving some wisdom to them and my grandchildren is easy. Being a friend is hopefully what my friends appreciate. Knowing who should and should not be in my life, another easy one.
But politics is something I always knew I knew very little about, and now less than little. Sunday morning news programs and New York Times doesn’t clear up anything for me. I consider myself apolitical, but I do like to be aware. Involved no, because then I would never sleep, I remember growing up, there were politicians that had integrity. Now, that doesn’t seem to be so important. Not that any one with that personality would want to date me, but if someone wanted to fix me up with a politician, I would of course decline.
I have a friend from New Zealand and she emailed me recently what most of my friends think of Trump. I do know none of them are voting for him. Obviously he has a Huge fan base and they frighten me. Hate also frightens me. Have things changed that much, or has my tolerance for fighting and name calling reached an all time low?
Does Bernie have a chance to make all the changes he wants to make actually happen? Health care and college for all and free. Does Trump really plan on building a wall and deporting millions? Is Hillary really a liar….about everything? Who knows what the truth is. I certainly don’t and reading and listening to all the news only makes me totally perplexed.
I wish all this was over and we had a president. Hopefully one we can respect and one who is qualified for the office.
Bill Maher said on his show Friday night that Canada is building its own wall….to keep us out!!!!!


Memorial Day Weekend is always a new beginning for me. The start of the summer and the flood of memories of past summers flows over me. Not in a depressing way fortunately, just remembering. It takes work on my part not to be sad. Oh sure, a pity party every now and then, but never stay too long at the party for sure.
I could list everyone and everything I am grateful for, that goes without repeating once again. I try to live in the moment and at this moment, I am so glad to be in my apartment and not going out in polluted air and heat. Very busy the last few weeks so it’s a joy to veg out……and without any guilt I might add.
Leaving next week for six wonderful family fun love. weeks in Duck, North Carolina and Richmond, Virginia. Look forward to with glee and joy.
Tomorrow night with family and then other friends until I leave….all good stuff.
Could it be better? Of course, with a new love in my life, but no way do I obsess over not having one. I know so many terrific women, all ages who have no guys in their lives. As you all know, I go on some dating sites just to see if miracles happen, and so far no. I do have a funny terrific pen pal who happens to be a comedian and laughter comes easily when reading his words.
I talk with many women,… Their words repeat themselves. “There’s no one normal out there. The men are limited emotionally or just plain awful”. I try to be positive and think it’s not possible that they’re all horrible. I would never bash men having had a wonderful husband, two great sons, two great grandsons, and a few great nephews thrown in the mix. They are “out there.” But like finding a diamond in the sand, difficult to locate.
And the few experiences in just emailing or meeting for tea/drink. “There’s no one normal out there. The men are limited emotionally and just plain awful.” Sorry guys, that’s the consensus. It is what it is and it is what it isn’t. Like life itself. I know in my heart of hearts, not all terrible.
So wishing everyone the most wonderful start of the summer and may your wishes be like stars, only better. Always there, but not necessarily able to grab. Perhaps to hold though……
By the way, no matter how grateful I am…….Valentines Day Still Sucks…….

A Dinner Invit With Me Bringing The Food!

A friend I don’t see very often invited me for dinner. Lovely, right? She then called after we settled on a date to say “I don’t know what to make. You don’t eat that much of a variety”.
To set the record straight. I am a pescatarian, a vegan who eats fish and dairy. I also eat every vegetable known to man except Okra. Every nut, Every kind of humus, fruit, bean, cold water wild fish, yogurt, seeds, brown rice, more grains than I can list. So I eat many varieties. I love a glass of red wine…not much sugar, cheese, salt, or butter.
Now my friend was doing a little transference. She is a strict eater. Never bread, pasta, sugar etc. So I would say I was the easier one. She always talks about her lentil soup and how great it is. So when she said there is nothing for me to eat, I mentioned all that I enjoy, and how easy it is to put out some raw veggies with humus and her soup.
She wasn’t in the mood to make soup and called me at least three times to tell me she was having a problem with the menu. I was losing patience, but I know her issues and wanted to be nice so didn’t say. WTF! You invited me and now telling me how difficult it is.
I was planning on bringing a lovely bottle of red wine. I then offered to bring smoked wild salmon. I generally buy a 1/4 lb and it lasts for three days. Quite expensive. I said I would bring 1/2 lb of the salmon. She liked that. She then called to say what would we eat with that? So I offered to buy some humus and veggies. Now we’re up to about $80 for this lovely dinner invitation.
I empowered myself many years ago and never say “I should have said that or done that.” It’s a done deal with me from the get go. Old enough to not obsess about what should and could, have been said. I say it and feel good. Never hurtful, but honest, not too honest.
I called her and said it was all getting a little complicated and why don’t we just go out….we always get separate checks to avoid any drama.
The moral of this story. You can write what you want about anyone, as long as they aren’t on the same social network you’re on.

Forever Magical Thinking

Thinking maybe this time, instead of using for material, I would actually go on Tinder and OKCupid to find someone. Not necessarily harshly judging. I’m also on and do events for them as well as the Search. Feel safe there from catfish. Funny to just say the word. My dear friend Edith who passed away at 98 always gave me advice. Never search for Him. He will be there at the right time. Well it’s almost 12 years and as I have always said instead of a pity party. I had the very best soul connected love, and with all the problems, a long marriage, almost 50 years. We shared such a strong connection emotionally and physically. A romantic love with someone who had the capacity to love and be loved. He was not just the best human being, he was so good-looking, I loved looking at him. He would say the same to me. So 30 years was perfection and that may be all for me and I’m content and forever grateful for all I had and have in my life. But…….occasionally I feel and would say to Edith. “I have to be proactive and at least try.” Once again.
On Tinder there was Erich. A fitness trainer and model. There he was on his profile naked from the waist up. Whatever he was wearing was way below his waist, but thankfully not showing everything. A large gold chain topped off the look. He wanted to meet immediately because he knew “we were right for each other.” Unmatched immediately as I did with Juan who also shirtless and with a huge wide leather necklace. Only his face wasn’t tattooed and certainly not interested in finding out if any body parts were left without painted “art.” His profile said he was interested in finding his last love and “thot it could b me” I didn’t find the spelling or the art very appealing and unmatched as well. It’s boring to keep going over the unappealing guys, but the standouts are all holding small to huge dead fish. Wonder if a metaphor for something?????
Not all negative though. Actually going to meet two age appropriate, nice looking and interesting guys. OKCupid so maybe Edith won’t mind if Cupid had a plan.
Keep posted. You never know…..or do I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pulitzer Prize……and………

So, someone fixed me up with a Pulitzer Prize winning writer. Finally someone older than I am. Not often impressed, but I was. After all a Pulitzer. But, that feeling went away rather quickly. Immediate zero chemistry……I might add, on both sides. The best part. It was quick. We met for a coffee/tea and one of his first words ” he had an appointment soon. and his dog was in the car, and he had some chores to do”, like go to the drug store. I was happy he didn’t share for what! Practicing Buddhist philosophy, I felt I could do the dog a favor. and get him out of the hot car, even with windows opened. I offered to hold the leash and watch his furry one. I actually spent more quality time with his dog and I liked that. No arrogance and very friendly.
So, there you have it….