Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for October, 2016

Toxic, No Thank You!!!!

I wrote a post called Friendship Garden. In essence it’s about removing toxic plants to make room for beautiful new ones. Of course it was a metaphor about letting go of people who are not healthy for you to be near. I call it emotional housecleaning. The same way it feels good to get rid of “stuff”, the feeling is even better when the stuff happens to be people. I don’t like using the words get rid of when it comes to humans, a bit harsh…I use letting go. The more you let go of negative energy that other people create for you, or you allow them to create, the better you feel and the healthier you are emotionally and physically.
I find I do this periodically because you can’t be all things to all people. You love and adore your family and that’s where expectations are the highest. When you have friends “who get you,” there is nothing like that feeling. Its nourishing. It’s joyful. It’s the way it ought to be.
So when you have someone in your life who is excessively needy, and in my case, I’m talking about a woman friend or ex friend, who’s extremely narcissistic, when it’s only and all about her, you can make excuses for a time, you can even get along, for a time, but eventually the time comes when it is easier to not have them in your life. That’s a decision you have to make, and be comfortable with. (Fortunately she doesn’t read my blog.)
I often wonder why it is so much easier for me to let go of a negative toxic person than it is of clothes I haven’t worn in 50 years……..but you never know, I might have an occasion to wear……and the person? A No! Well, I am forever grateful to have so many friends for so many years and just as important new, interesting, and wonderful new friends that are just waiting to bloom.

When A Short Visit Just Isn’t Enough

When I was young, it seemed people you loved never moved away. At least not far away.
I’m not complaining because I am forever grateful to have sons that at least live in this country. My oldest fortunately lives a bus away with his family. My granddaughter in NYC fortunately.
My younger son and his family live in Southern California, and my two grandsons live there when not in college in Idaho.
My very special birthday was celebrated and made even more special in California when we were all together. Never enough time though….So my younger son came for a visit last week. He wasn’t even able to stay a full week. I realized as I do every day that you must focus on the positive. At least he was here. At least we had some laughs…and he had enough food that he doesn’t get very often in California to last, at least another year.
So instead of focusing on the fact he lives tooooooo far away, I’m looking forward to his next visit or mine to California.
It’s all about being grateful for what I have, and exalting in that feeling.
And that’s just the way it is. Any parent that has adult children or grandchildren living a distance away knows exactly the feelings I’m having right now. He left a few hours ago. Hopefully safe and sound on the West Coast tomorrow. His flight was delayed so long that he will miss his connecting flight in Atlanta, Hotel vouchers were handed out, and he’ll spend the night in Georgia. Think that’s the name or should be of a song…
No matter how old they are, no matter how far away they live….the love just increases…

Thank you

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Mail Order Bride….Not

I said I never would and I did. I went back on Tinder. For a good reason. Being interviewed again and needed to be on for the story line….and then off forever and forever. I have learned some great lessons that I would like to pass on once again if you’re on any dating site. Never give your personal contact information unless you have actually met the person. Don’t spend time and energy texting unless you feel you have a real connection, if that’s possible. Probably not, so don’t be disappointed. Have very low expectations and then be surprised. Unless you just want a pen pal, save information about yourself until you have a coffee or drink.. I had such a funny experience today, I needed to share… I was matched with a dermatologist, 68 and looked much older. We did share many of the same interests…so this was the communication. He…Where are you from…Me…I live in Manhattan…He..please do me a favor and send me three more photos of yourself. One without sunglasses, and two close up. I would also like to see your Instagram account.How old are you really? You’re not 81… { BTW my Tinder profile picture is me standing up next to a fake bear taken in Virginia and the bear has a sign, no whining…I look like the picture and it was very sunny out that day and I have on sunglasses, also true age from Facebook.}
Me…..I’m not a mail order bride.
……….and then I deleted him.
The only site I truly trust is, because they protect their members and it is much more than a dating site. It’s a community. I enjoy doing events and getting some pretty terrific women together…Now that’s fun.
I have heard wonderful stories about people meeting on-line. But it will just NEVER be for me. Not negative thinking either, just totally realistic. Not giving up hope that I could meet a terrific man, but it will be the old fashion romantic way…….maybe….