Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for April, 2015


sunflower 2 sun flower


I had all good intentions to write about reaching this milestone birthday 4/28/35….It was getting too long. I believe less is more.

I am forever grateful having good health, family and friends who love me as much as I love them.

“They” say a picture is worth a thousand words. Here are two of them.

Heartfelt thanks to my good friend Frank for taking the photographs.

In Appreciation

I wish to thank all followers and those that read my blog occasionally and comment. I appreciate all your support and kindness.  When you write just for the love of writing, and have people read and enjoy your written word, the feeling is quite wonderful. Thank you for that feeling again and again. I have always thought to inspire through words is a lovely purpose.

Tomorrow Tomorrow

So where did the years go. Why do I feel no age? Although I love what Erma Bombeck said when she looked in the mirror one morning. “Who’s the old lady who moved in last night.” Just saying, and not writing a blog about the milestone……when I am in a lovely up frame of mine,  my strength leads me in the direction of just not  thinking about the negatives. When a bit of weakness sets in, my thoughts are not so wonderful wonderful. But, I am here. When I had cataract surgery, some doctor  at Manhattan Eye and Ear said …”.be thankful you’re old enough to have  them and taken care of,” Well, that’s a thought. I loved President Obama’s comedy routine at the White House Correspondents dinner when he spoke of his “bucket” list.

So,    80….not to be feared  just grateful and “bucket”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anger…A New York Thing?

Noun..”A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure. or hostility.”

Are people angrier in New York City.? I’ve had visitors tell me it sure seems so. I have been told New Yorker’s talk louder, walk  faster, and are very rude.

I live here and I don’t see myself that way at all. Well I do walk faster. I do get a bit annoyed when I have to wait on-line to walk. I do talk a bit louder because of the sirens, new building noises, new subway noises, and all city noises. Rude? No not that one. In fact I always say thank you to the bus driver as most people do. I have noticed on the bus, subway, and streets, people do have a stressed looked. The mellow look will probably arrive with the legalization of pot.

It is very important not to be rude to tourists or anyone in the service community. I have noticed in my building that most people say thank you to the doorman. Most, not all.

Where I have witnessed anger? The movie theaters. You go to relax and be entertained.  Seems many men and women are there alone and want their space. Couples are not excluded in this.  I have seen people almost come to blows over talking during the commercials and coming attractions. Yelling at each other.

Here is a recent sample. Mostly seniors engaging in this rage. “Will you shut up.” No answer and continued whispering. “I asked you to shut up.” The whispering goes on. “I’m not asking you again. Shut the f..k up.” Now I’m getting anxious since this has elevated to a screaming match. I notice a few others now are chiming in. The whisperer finally answers. “I can talk all I want. It’s not the movie. “No you can’t idiot, I’m watching the trailers”. “Move then.” ‘I don’t have to move. You’re the inconsiderate one, you move.”

All becomes quiet since the film has begun. Peace and quiet, and I survived another round of movie theater rage.

Am I so mellow re meditation, yoga, and when necessary a little Valium? Do I not allow anger to touch me now at this age?

When on the bus, try not to have your feet stretched out or large parcels that others can trip on. Anger just waiting to explode. Out for a stroll. Better not hold someone up who is in a huge hurry.  Everyone seems to be on the phone and bumping into one another is a constant. Umbrellas need to be held high so you don’t poke someone in the eye. A few simple rules to alleviate some of the city anger.

The film Grumpy Old Men proved the older the grumpier. I would like not to fall into that group. Vintage mellow sounds better to me.

I feel like a tourist in my own city because of the love I have for the city I live in. I was thinking of when I feel anger.  When I hold the door opened for a mom and her carriage or anyone for that matter, and I never hear thank you. Within five seconds I say “You’re welcome.” in a rather annoyed way. I would also never tolerate witnessing anyone abusive to a child or animal.

So much for vintage and mellow. Rather normal I would say!!!!


My dear friend Edith passed away recently at 97. I used to visit her at The Esplanade on the Upper West Side of NYC. A Senior Residence. Now it seems whenever I go to the West Side, I think of our visits. She had a favorite saying that she would say to me almost every time we had a visit. “You take yourself wherever you go.” Little did she know she was quoting Nietzsche. “We are always in our own company.”

I miss you my wise wonderful friend.

Another Word For Senior……Please!

What descriptive words do you prefer if you are over a certain age?  Once you have joined the ranks of AARP.  I’m not a huge fan of  labels, but the media is. So what is it to be? Senior, Golden Age, Golden Years, Elderly, Old. Not fond of any of them, and yet we all seem to have labels. Not all of us want to do fit in the mold. So I thought if I had to have a new name for my blog, it would be. Visions From A Vintage Vantage. There are shops that cater to vintage merchandise.

Vintage can be very valuable…. Checked definition,  and other than wine, the words used to describe vintage are enduring, recognized, quality, interest, importance, quality, classic.

I’m OK with Vintage!

Who Can Make You Better?

Over the years, and being at the age I am becoming

(doing the numbers thing… a positive way,) you hope that you reach an  age when wisdom comes into play. Your wisdom. In no way am I putting down drugs when people need them, or therapy. I often quote my brother, a psychiatrist for over 50 years, and has treated patients who are clinically depressed. I am not talking about that issue. I volunteered in a mental health hospital for over 20 years and talked with many men and women, in a non professional way. I never gave advice, I just listened.  I have come to the conclusion that many people create their own problems, and some even enjoy them. The victim role comes to play. Many people need to be the center of attraction, but  in a negative way. Many people just don’t like themselves, and expect others to like them. I also worked on a hot line and many problems were discussed……..we were trained to prioritized. I am just going to give one example, because this woman called once a week.  It was completely anonymous. She hated her family and friends. Her children changed their telephone numbers so she couldn’t call them. She used the word hate over and over again…….and then would always say she was a wonderful person. She was loving. She was a good mother and friend. Forgot to mention she really hated her husband as well, but she was a wonderful wife. Of course she was the extreme, but they are out there. The older I get, the more I talk to myself…not in a certifiable way, but very positive. I work on myself everyday not to feel the sadness  missing my husband, and the life I had with him. I do call them pity parties, but never stay too long at the party, because I am not pathetic…. For me, and perhaps others, it is very important to think things out, but never over think. You accomplish nothing by over thinking the same negative approach. This may sound too easy, but if you are able physically to do this, please try. Cut down on sugar and carbs…When feeling down,  dancing music, especially I Will Survive…Put a smile on your face and the timer at 20 minutes, and dance as if no one is watching…..because no one is. Careful not to fall and break something as that would not be productive…I can almost guarantee you will feel better. Again, I am just talking about the normal sadness we all feel at one time or another. The most important relationship you  have is with yourself, and if you can’t be alone with yourself, maybe you don’t like that person, and need to  figure out why. You want friends? Be a friend!……My problem, is the laughter seemed to leave my life almost 11 years ago. The music did too, but that was a bit easier to turn on again. Tried the Laughing Room in NYC,  that they have in India, but it was too forced. Didn’t work for me. Perhaps dancing won’t work for everyone, but listening might. ” During moments of musical euphoria, blood travels through the brain to areas where other stimuli can produce feelings of contentment and joy–and travel away from brain cell areas associated with depression and fear.” Dr. Frederick Tims. Made sense to me. Maybe to you as well.

Perhaps we can heal ourselves…..Perhaps loving ourselves is one of the answers. Perhaps we can make ourselves feel better. Perhaps we should try.



Going  to dinner and theater with a friend. I arrived twenty-five  minutes early and forgot my phone. Not a good idea. How many times can you read the menu? At wonderful  Orso, the menu is not that large, and takes a full minute or  two to read . You observe everyone walking  by your table, and my table was right in  front. You don’t want to look impatient or grouchy, so you have a smile on your face, and that starts to feel uncomfortable as well…So you adjust your smile a bit. Not wearing a watch,and not having my phone, I have no idea what time it is after 5 and how many times can you ask? What I did notice, was why this restaurant is one of the most popular in the theater district, on Restaurant Row and successful for many years. They run a tight ship along with all the integrity a good restaurant needs. Great consistent food, professional lovely service and a pretty setting….but still I sit by myself, with a faint smile and wait…….grateful I can look forward to a terrific meal as soon as my friend arrives. Fortunately she wasn’t too late. Sometimes waiting with patience with nothing to do becomes a quiet time to just wait.