Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for June, 2013

Love and Marriage

The wonderful almost state of craze feeling, that arrives at the same time as falling in love is wonderful, and seems so effortless. Speaking with many women over the years, why the ease with the falling aspect, but staying in love, for so many, so difficult? Nourishing gardens flourish, as would marriages given some work. Sometimes a little separation can bring couples back, stronger than ever and more wonderful than one would imagine. Something is wrong, when one out of two marriages ends in divorce. I am not putting the blame on one or the other. Marriage works as a team effort and the working is not as difficult as divorce. I have spoken to many women who were divorced and regretted their decisions, and others who went on to a second marriage that was beautiful. No one should be forced to stay in a prison of sorts, but just wondering how many marriages would be saved if both had even a small positive emotion left for one another…Just a thought…I was married almost 50 years and 35 were sheer perfection and joy. When my husband died, part of me died because the life we shared was gone. But, when you have soul connected love, the one loved is never far away spiritually. I feel his energy and spirit every day and that is a great source of comfort.

Emotional nourishment is better

I remember witnessing a couple fighting in a restaurant, and both said they hated each other. I also remember reading about hatred…”It destroys the vessel in which it is stored, not the object on which it is poured.”
It’s quite negative and useless to hate. Dislike is ok, letting go is better, and surrounding yourself, if possible, with love and emotional nourishment is the best!!!

The Power of Positive Thinking

How many self-help books have been written? The basic foundation Norman Vincent Peale wrote about in The Power of Positive Thinking, is reinforced with every book since. Doctors have come around to the mind/body connection. Very simple in a very complex world, to be Awake, Aware, and Alive and Ready, Willing, and Able to take on your challenges and turn them into the victory dance of life, with all its many adventures. Never easy, but at least worth the try. I dedicate these words with love, to my brother who is going through some serious medical issues. I visualize him back at work…I wish he had the same vision……………………………….It is now almost three months later and he is on his way to a great recovery. He decided at almost 84 to retire. His father lived to be 98 so he hopefully will have many years left to enjoy. I chanted for him and it worked. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo…


I have fond memories of actually writing letters on beautifully crafted stationery. I always signed off with “wishing you realistic rainbows.” Most didn’t get me or  the  understanding of the words. Many years have passed, and I rarely write letters…….Yesterday, I sat on a train for six hours traveling to Virginia. I thought a bit about rainbows. Quite magical with colors to delight most who experience them…..but looking for the pot of gold is unrealistic……so realistic rainbows?????? Well, perhaps enjoy life’s moments for just what they are, and at the time  nourishing your karma.


It’s a good idea, if possible, to live the life you love, and love the life you lead!


People come in and out of our lives for reasons…. and so many lessons to be learned.

Food, Your Friend

First and foremost, I am not trained as a nutritionist…all based on what works for me for so many years. True, I have never been overweight, and think I maintained my weight in a positive nutritional way. The definition of a diet in most cases? Lose lbs or whatever and gain more. Diets rarely, if ever work. I have seen people on liquid diets, no carbs, all protein, and the list goes on. Everyone knows discipline is the key word and not to deprive, but moderation, the key. What has worked for me almost my entire life, is never three meals a day. Grazing all day and only eating when hungry. Starting the day with breakfast of course. If you want specifics, I will be happy to go more into details…and you can have dinner food for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner. Nuts have a very bad rap re the fattening word. Actually I eat at least half a cup everyday (raw almonds, filberts, walnuts, and pecans) and never gained. My metabolism is normal, not running wild..If I eat a lot of carbs, salt, and sugar, I would gain weight. All the working out doesn’t work, if what you are putting in your mouth is full of fats and chemicals. Snacks can be great or can put you in an eating frenzy. Years ago, if I was on a bit of an emotional eating “thing” I would get a handful of cereal, and then the frenzy, and I would eat anything that wasn’t crawling. If hungry for a snack, organic (no salt, no oil) popcorn (bag has no chemicals) nuke and then when hot add just some olive oil.. Eating the entire bag? No weight gain….beans, humus, dried fruit (organic) and of course nuts…takes the edge off and will not make you hungrier..If buying organic, I read most important are berries, greens and anything that doesn’t have a thick skin. Just a few tips to start the day. Veggies, raw, the best…. Stores make it so easy, having a huge variety all cut up and ready to eat…so eat healthy and keep your karma nourished as well. Great combination!

Hooking up??????

Debbie Reynolds may or may not have said that she was sorry she didn’t have more experiences when she was younger…intimacy is certainly more acceptable…..but when I think at 78, about hooking up, it conjures up being in a hospital and tubes attached. Not a pretty picture. So I’ll just live in the present and not worry about all the should have’s. It serves no purpose to have regrets…and as far as the word guilt…the only thing to feel guilty about, is not feeling guilty about anything.. I once read that you have only one life long relationship, and that is with yourself. Sadly your worst enemy can often be yourself, so conquering one’s self is like winning the lottery… finally reaching the finish line,alone, and it can be exhilarating, to say the least, but it takes hard work.

Quality vs Quantity….who knows for sure?

Very often, observing, not judging, you see marriages lasting over 50 years. Perhaps morphing into a lovely companionship. Physically who knows? The bonus would be intimacy into your 90’s. I just know I would have had the bonus, but then again, who knows? The same with friends. You may have friends for over 50 years, but years may change your circumstances, and unless the friendship has more than longevity, it might be time to let go. Emotional cleansing, I have always said, is just as important as physical cleansing. When my husband died so suddenly, and I could no longer stay in New Jersey with all my memories, I moved to New York. As I wrote in my Garden of Friendship blog, there are times you let go. Knowing for sure why!

Ever notice in New York and Elsewhere

Have you ever observed the type of person that litters? In the city, it seems the majority of people say thank you to the bus driver, and so easy to do….and what about the person at the post office or checker that seems so grouchy, if you just say something kind, their attitude changes immediately, the same with all service people. My savvy New York granddaughter has never not said thank you to the doormen.
Waiting for a friend in my lobby, and watching people coming in and out of my building, most said thank you. It’s important for me to believe, most are capable of goodness.