Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for the ‘mental and physical health issues’ Category

Important Tool

When you learn how to intellectualize your emotions, you’re in charge and that’s empowering.

The heart and brain must work as a team. Self love means respecting and protecting yourself. Be with those you trust and a red flag is exactly that.

Your intuition and common sense… also a great team.

It’s all about how important are you… to yourself.

A few emotional tools I use…. constantly .


I am not a therapist, doctor, nutritionist, or trained to speak on many of the subjects I speak on. To say it all works for me, might be pretentious, and I don’t mean to be……but, it all works for me, and just passing on some common sense and natural remedy’s. I do have some validation, because I have several friends who have therapists and tell me after I give a bit of common sense, that therapists told them the same words. I love when they call me their guru. I’m certainly old enough to be one and wisdom should arrive at the same time older age arrives. I do have a 24/7 therapist, and that’s me. I would never put down therapy for those who benefit by its teachings. It just would never work for me, because I know myself better than anyone and not interested in paying someone to get to know me. I realized so many years ago that I must solve my own problems and control my overly sensitive emotions. A devout romantic, animal lover, and idealist. Realism creeps in, but I do prefer denial in a positive way,and magical thinking. Especially in this political atmosphere we’re all living with. Everything I believe in is in question and I can only deal with these issues by compartmentalized thoughts. It works for me along with very little concentrated sugar and over eating carbs. I realized I do eat for pleasure, but mostly to nourish. We must nourish ourselves…emotionally, physically, and every possible way you can. No matter how many loves surround us, we are alone mostly in our thoughts and our caring for ourselves. The point of this post is to suggest to all reading it that you consider correct breathing one of your most important exercises. Not my opinion, but Dr. Andrew Weil. You can google him for his exercise. It’s so easy to master and should be done several times a day along with Yoga abdominal breathing. Proof of the importance? I knew someone who had serious high blood pressure, She would go to the hospital often because it would peak and cause her problems. I taught her the Weil method and she told me her doctor said it was a miracle. She lowered her pressure by doing the correct breathing a few times a day.
All I’m suggesting is to google the importance of correct breathing, and how it helps all parts of your body.
Ahhhhhhhhhh that’s it. Take a deep breath. Good health to all and Happy Breathing!!!!! Another post, Yoga Laughter is next and that too, works.

Mindfulness Life….. Isn’t A Quick Fix

Well, for me it’s the only way to achieve peace of mind, and in this crazy world, we all need some peace in our mind. It takes discipline and time. The rewards will eventually nurture you, in a subtle and then very obvious way.
It’s essential to have control over your thoughts. You create and produce them, so you have to be able to rid yourself as well. Why clutter your mind with negative thoughts and people. They can consume you and your energy.
First you have to let go of old habits and learn new methods. Acquire and develop emotional tools that work for you. Use them over and over again until they become natural.
For me personally, I push away with yoga and meditation. I also use certain words like “out out” and it seems to allow me to act in a positive mood. Yoga laughter is another method and you literally laugh out the negativity. Make it work.
On the road to a mindfulness life is knowing that there are dangerous trigger words. Could Have, Should Have, Would Have and Guilt…”out out.” What a waste of your time and energy. There are no do overs, but always new beginnings.
Meditating for five minutes with a soy candle and listening to soothing music, quiets the mind and soul. Nourishing your body with nutritious foods is part of the new habits to form. It’s all worth it.
…….and if you are able to eat…a wonderful way to start the day….a square of very very dark chocolate.
Wishing you sweetness in your lives. Take the best care of yourself, since it’s the only relationship that definitely will last as long as you live.
Please feel free to ask me any questions and I reply to all comments. I appreciate you reading my words.

Elderberry Tea ……….Buddha Tea

Many people have asked where to buy Elderberry Tea. I wasn’t able to find in health shops or super markets.  I am happy to share another company with integrity and they also have other teas. Buddha Tea. They have a great site. Cheers to good health and a cozy cup of healthy tea.

It “Fakes” A Blizzard

This post was originally posted on URAWarrior.

There are times when lazy is lovely. If able to take a time out, give yourself permission to do so. When you live in a 700 foot square  New York City apartment, and your environment is minimal, there can be no huge pile up of magazines and papers as a forever thing. Everything in its place is key. Physical chaos can cause emotional chaos.   Waking up one morning, and making the decision to hang in…A day at home is sorely needed. Staying in your sleep sweats….finishing chores, tackling the huge pile to read and then, destination garbage is a good plan.     A  day to create a mellow and calm exterior and interior for yourself. Peace of mind without guilt, essential

In reality, it is 75 degrees, no humidity, not a cloud in the lovely blue sky. A perfectly beautiful day. How can you stay in? Well, you produce your own tranquility by creating a make-believe blizzard. Darken the room with shades or curtains down. Cozy in by thinking snow storm,. Listen to the hail and wind beating against your windows, and thank your lucky stars you aren’t going to slip on that horrid ice.

If, at the end of the day, you feel less stressed, more relaxed with a surge of productivity, you can smile, perhaps, with a glass of wine and actually say, “I deserved this day.” and you are guaranteed 100%  a tomorrow with absolutely no ice and snow.




Happy Happy????

It seems to me that so much pressure is put upon us to be happy. In practicing the philosophy of Buddhism, happiness is a goal to attain. We all go through periods of life when happiness is impossible to feel. I realize it is perfectly fine not to feel happy all the time. Perhaps if born with a cheery personality, the feeling of happiness is easy. People are trying so hard to be happy, that they feel guilty not being happy all the time. Then, there are others who relish in their unhappiness. I prefer to use the description content or OK, and that is perfectly OK. There is much that contributes to happiness that I live by. A glorious feeling, although somewhat illusive. My brother , a psychiatrist for over 50 years said” patients look for a happy pill.” There is no such thing, if they dislike their life, the pill will make it easier to cope, but basically their life “still sucks” in their words and state of mind. I think I represent many that can feel utter joy at times, and then the other moments of sadness, and then the hard work it takes without counseling working on myself. Not by some therapists who could do more harm than good. An unskilled surgeon can kill you, and an inadequate therapist can kill your soul. So, I’m my own therapist, and it works for me, in keeping a positive energy and spirit surrounding me. I would never judge those who benefit from therapeutic guidance, medication, or both. I am grateful I never suffered from clinical depression, just the normal reactive sadness that is perfectly accepted by me, and if I suffer from anything, it’s acute sensitivity. When I was in my 20’s I was at a party chatting socially with a rather well-known psychiatrist, I felt comfortable enough to ask if out of seven days, four were great and the rest, sometimes not so great but still productive. The other three had some dwelling in the past, fearing the future. He thought four out of seven ? Terrific. So I had permission to feel it was OK. I realize and exalt at this age and time in my life, what really gives me contentment and gratitude…and also accept why I still mourn for my husband and my life as I knew it. My happy times switch from dreaming about meeting my next soul mate, which is as unrealistic as becoming the first female pope, made even more difficult by the fact I am not Catholic, nor do I intend to convert, contrasting with hoping and dreaming never giving up certain goals. Contentment and satisfaction in my life is consistent, joy being with family and friends, having a passion for writing, enjoying soul nourishing music, beautifully mood evoking, and knowing I show kindness at every opportunity, so I have come to the conclusion, I may not laugh as much as I should, and I protect myself not reading or watching depressing anything. Taking in the energy living in one of the greatest cities in the world. I’m aware of all the news, just not overly involved. So instead of the Happy New Year I have been saying, I am going to be realistic and wish everyone good health, good times and the lovely feeling of contentment and gratitude. Not a less than happy feeling. Searching always for realistic rainbows, appreciating the colors, but not looking for the pot of gold. and most of all, living and rejoicing in the moment. Every hour doesn’t have to be happy, but every moment must be relished. Not so difficult. Is that sort of happy? I think so!


I often think, when faced with certain life situations, what are the tools that come into play for me. I read many years ago that taking ownership of mind and body is all empowering. If possible, that is my tool. Simply, as I have said many times before, nourishing the body with healthy food, and the mind with positive thoughts…. Surrounding yourself with family and friends you love is the bonus. My husbands favorite saying was “when the going gets rough, the tough get going.” The origin of this phrase has been attributed both to Joseph Kennedy, father of President John F. Kennedy, and football player/coach Knute Rockne. Taken together, “when the situation becomes difficult, the strong will work harder to meet the challenge.” Life is filled with challengers and how we meet and deal with them are the foundation of our emotional tools. Another interpretation might mean that we must be fully engaged in the present, to face what we know and sometimes the unknown. Empowering our own strengths..

Emotional Tools

These are my  tools to use in some situations. I don’t want to play the numbers, but you shouldn’t  be my age, without having some good methods of dealing with life. Not coming from anger ,but developed  survivor strength. One I read and one my words. Coming from a gentle place, and thought I would pass on. “Acting out of self interest to protect one’s self is not a dominant force, since you can still be sensitive to the feelings of others.” This of course, does not pertain to those that you have let go of. That is a slow process, but worth the investment of your time….and the other,  in a gentle voice to yourself, if you don’t care, I care less. Perhaps it sounds harsh, but isn’t from my perception….and then when all else fails, a few choice vulgarities to yourself, always seems to do the trick.
We have our own methods of dealing, and if it’s a positive approach, not negative…whatever works!!!

Beneficial mental health practice

Periodic physical and emotional housecleaning…..When dead branches fall off a healthy tree, the tree can still be beautiful, live and thrive.