Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

Thank you

Just a quick post to say thank you to all new followers. And of course to ones who have stayed with me. I sincerely appreciate your comments and hope to share some good news re the book that is finally coming out. This concept started when I met my co-author at a wild writing workshop. 40 years ago and of course many updates over the years. We only sent queries about seven times and received good feedback but still rejections. Many agents said it might make for a good film. The book is basically about friendship, a little astrology, Wall Street, a fun plot and of course love. It’s a good feeling to be proud of a creative project. We decided to self publish and have a wonderful editor and book cover artist. Will write another post when it’s on Amazon.
My wonderful husband Barry died almost thirteen years ago and wanted me to finish the book with Barbara. He kept asking me “when?” Well love, it’s happening soon.
Forever loved, Forever missed. Your birthday would have been 9/13. Would have been. We had so many that we shared. So many years together and forever grateful.

Lazy Days of Summer

I know there is still time for summer fun. September should be extended into summer. But it’s just a feeling I get when I see back to school and fall clothes being advertised and its over 90 degrees. Summer is the time to just enjoy summer. Of course listening to constant news is definitely not part of the enjoyment…… and trying to limit my CNN constant barrage of bad news. Trying instead to hold on to a gentle time.
I just returned from almost three months in Virginia with loving family and friends. A beautiful time spent away from the city and treasure my times there. I arrived home to over a dozen mounds of mail and all I can think of is the total waste of paper, and junk mail making up most of the mail. All unpacked and almost all paper work finished. When you’re with family 24/7 its perfect for me because of the friendship I have with my family. I know that’s not always a given. When I’m on the train for over 6 hours, I try very hard not to be sad at leaving, but excited to see my NYC family and friends. Spending time with my granddaughter before she leaves for semester abroad and my son and “daughter”, and soon with friends is the reason I’m not able to move to Virginia. So this is when positive energy and thoughts take over. I’m so fortunate to have both places and family. Living a mindfulness life helps…. and the feeling of gratitude is endless. After all New York City is a pretty great place to call home.
But yet, I think of all the discussions, some with laughter and some with tears that I had so many times in Virginia. Not living alone has its merits. My sister-in-law and I talked about our own Golden Girls and living together at some point in our lives.
So which one would I be?

President Emmanuel Macron and First Lady Brigitte

The President of France and his wife are twenty-four years apart. Who cares? Obviously the French don’t. I see a lasting loving couple. Here we seem to call this unique relationship terrible names. Cougar, boytoy, mama’s boy, or the ones who know so little and judge……she’s looking for a son, or ever lasting youth, and he’s looking for his mother or a purse.
The idea that they just found each other in a unique relationship with chemistry, attraction, and passion doesn’t exist in the judges judgement. They see little what is positive, they see what they want or what they perceive is truth. The truth is the ones involved only see each other. No numbers, no negativity, that perhaps because of the uniqueness, seems out of step. What parade are you marching with? Perhaps a different drummer. Perhaps the Macron’s marriage will add some credibility to this quote “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain.
Vive La France

Sad News. What To Do???? I know

I remember when a friend died, and I wrote about what to do with her name in my phone book. That was easier because I knew she would not want to be crossed out in black, so I used a neon pink to just put a line through, and then when I needed a new phone book, she was no longer there.
Now in this era of Facebook I’m not sure what I’m comfortable with doing. I was shocked to hear of Aria’s death on Facebook. Her daughter put a notice in, with memorial plans for her Mother in Florida. She passed away April 7th after being in the hospital since January with an infection.

I met Aria at a few Stitch events and we had an immediate connection. We kept in touch occasionally, and always planned on getting together when she came back from Florida. She was a beautiful woman from inside out and her job and passion was working with underprivileged women and children. As many described her on Facebook, “she was a magnificent person.”
I was able to delete her email because it would be sad to always see her name and address.
I’m wondering what anyone reading this does when this happens to you. Please share.
I know that I’m not unfriending Aria. The spiritual side of me and she had the same old soul, guides me to leave her as a friend.
What better friend than a guardian angel. Rest in Peace Dear Aria.


It’s my birthday month. When my husband was alive we celebrated all holidays and occasions with gusto. I still do. I hear people complain about yet ” another birthday”. Well what’s the alternative? Of course the mirror will show you don’t look the same. If you’re healthy you can feel the same. One of my favorites. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were.” Satchel Paige. I know people who are healthy in body, but their mind told them they were old……at 70. Not for any physical reason, they just gave up and it got worse with each year. They are in their 80’s still bitching. I love positive nourishing friends. We exalt in still being here and doing what we feel like doing. The word grateful is in my vocabulary now, even more than usual. So much to be grateful for and that never goes away. I am grateful I am healthy and can celebrate. I’m not overly vain so I don’t scrutinize myself in the mirror. Of course I see differences….smile more and it’s somewhat of an immediate facelift. There are less invasive options if you want to plump up the hollows. I find candle light the best. If by some miracle, I have a date, it’s always night-time and why not!!!. Lighting is a simple solution. Back to the grateful list….I have children and grandchildren and will celebrate my birthday with family. Sheer joy. I also have a dear friend since five years old and we live near each other and celebrate together. Happy to have her in my life to enjoy all the city venues we love. I have another dear friend who literally got me published so many years ago. We also celebrate together. Of course I wish my West Coast family were here and my grandchildren….but will enjoy their good wishes and love.
Erma Bombeck, the wonderful humorist, once said she looked in the mirror one morning and said ” who is this old lady that moved in last night?’
My friends in NYC would never consider themselves “old ladies.” Nor do I.. If you think you are, then you are. I have a friend who always talks about old age. She relishes talking about it and I don’t relish hearing about it.
The value of vintage increases with each year. I prefer that term and was used to describe me in the New York Post recent video.
Very grateful to producers Heather, Elettra and Lea, They felt Ronni and I had not only something to say, but important enough to “put out there.” It was paramount that my children and grandchildren would be proud, and they were. Most of my family and friends understood its purpose and for that, forever grateful. When people in your life “get you” at any age, it’s very powerful. Those that judge, perhaps, have their own unhappiness or lack of self-awareness. Ronni and I were not interested in sensationalism. We wanted to discuss a subject that has no reason to be under the covers. To quote one of the producers..” I was extremely happy with it and thrilled that we could put a story like this into the world. It’s long overdue.”
I wish I knew it made a difference in some woman’s life who was inspired to try something she read about, and saw on a video. Perhaps to go shopping at Babeland for her birthday and buy something to experience and enjoy.
As someone once said, “try it, you might like it.” Happy Birthday to me and all who still celebrate……..


Just thinking that two of my favorite quotes have to do with animals and friendship…..
“The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Gandhi

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Aristotle

I refuse to say where did March go. Instead will focus on one of my favorites April. I was born in April and my youngest grandson also April. I think of April as the beginning of Spring, not so much March. “The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.” Henry Van Dyke

So a bit early but Happy April everyone and may your spring bloom the blossoms of hope.

Spring Awakening

That time of year, almost, when new hopes and dreams are imagined and hopefully fertilized. You always have to be Awake and ready.

Frustration! Not So Terrible

When I lived in New Jersey a lifetime ago, I always assumed my washing machine and dryer would live forever. We had Maytag and that was their reputation. So while I didn’t take humans for granted, I did take my washing machine and dryer very much for granted. As a matter of fact, they are what I miss most in New Jersey….except for a rare few people I love from my other life with my wonderful husband. When occasionally my machines stopped performing, I would call a service person and like magic they were fixed. Now I live in an apartment in New York City, and machines are in laundry room and not my responsibility.
So what is my responsibility…….. is me, and the machines that have to keep working? My phone and my computer.
The last two days I have been on the phone trying to get information re Medicare and Aarp. My iPhone and computer. Yesterday I was only on the phone for five hours and got very little info that I needed. Voila, they told me to call Social Security which I did, and was told the wait would be over one hour. Just to myself I said f this and hung up. I literally was on the phone for five hours with no satisfaction. I also gave name and date of birth about thirty times.
Today was a different issue. No internet connection on phone or computer. I immediately called my provider which happens to be Spectrum, hoping it was a location issue. That’s easy since its their problem and would be repaired or whatever it requires to fix and all will be fine. But alas it was with my modem and router. I should be embarrassed to say I didn’t know one from the other. Actually, I don’t know the difference or I didn’t until today. I was on the phone with Apple and Spectrum for several hours but with a huge difference. I owe huge gratitude to Ally at Apple. She was knowledgeable and extremely patient. She even called me back when we were disconnected. She also realized it wasn’t an Apple problem, but with my modem and router. So I called my provider and to my surprise, got someone immediately willing and able to help. I also had a quick lesson in those two mysterious boxes. Very easy now to know the difference. Don’t know if you can relate, but when it comes to wires and taking them in and out, and unplugging devices, I get very nervous and think everything is going to just disconnect and will have to wait a week to find out what I did wrong. Oh, didn’t want to forget that Ally said if I have a problem to please call her and she gave me her contact information. A miracle in my opinion. Now I’m beginning to feel like a tech genius plugging wires in and out and nothing is blowing up. Spectrum advisor was very helpful and extremely patient. Issue solved. She asked if I would take part in a survey and the end of the call. I know it sounds so easy…..five simple questions and you do on your phone..1-10 is your choice to answer. 1 not satisfied to 10 totally satisfied. Here’s the tricky part…they tell you how to do 10. I have no clue and end up giving a 9. At the end of survey you can leave message and I have left the same message several times over the last few months. “I meant to answer 10 on all questions, but not sure how to put in so leave 9. As you can see the tech part of my life is not where my strengths are strongest.
So today not as frustrating… When I think of what’s going on in this county and the rest of the world, I realize spending hours on the phone is pretty easy compared to trading places with anyone else. I have a friend who is helping in a country across the world where people are starving and being murdered. Over the years, gratitude has taken over any real complaining. It’s part of the mindfulness experience of how to live….if you’re fortunate to have the choice.

New York City

I am so proud of the city I live in. We are diversified and kind to one another. I did like that our mayor said he will protect the citizens against what seems to be a terrifying alternative.

The March January 21 2017

I’m very vocal about politics with close friends and on Facebook…..Not so much on my blog although I am reflective and emotional and always from my truth. I just don’t want to be political, because I would get all tangled up in my emotions, especially at this time in this country.
But wanted to do a post about a time in history that I felt a part of. The Women’s March in NYC. I marched or walked rather slowly for over 5 hours with close friends, women, men, children. Solidarity, Unity, Love, Peace, and Action Oriented people. All feeling the same emotions. Not “alternative facts” but the truth. There were over 300,000 in NYC and I felt proud and empowered to be a part of history.
This is just the beginning of The Resistance Movement.