Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

Sad

This country is bleeding

My Experience With Racism As A White Child With A Dark Skin White Grandfather

I remember very clearly. I was a child. Probably under 10. I was visiting in Florida with my Papa. Over 70 years ago. We were boarding a bus. We were treated with harsh words by the bus driver . He told my grandfather to sit in the back. I was going with him, and the driver said “no” you sit in the front. I did what he said. My Papa was born in Palestine, now Jerusalem. He looked like Anwar Sadat’s twin. His skin was dark. His sense of humor intact. He wasn’t upset. I remember the experience with sadness . Although segregation no longer exists, hatred is flourishing.

 

 

what the catapillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly – Google Search

what the catapillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly – Google Search
— Read on www.google.com/search

Happy Weekend

Remembering

Dear Lucky,

You became an integral part of my life when I needed you the most.

I became a widow. Grief followed me. Constant shadow .

….and then you arrived. Lucky Buster. My canine grandson. You gave love and kisses from day one.

A few more weeks and you would have lived to be 14. A warrior fighter cancer twice.

You died when I was at the beach in North Carolina with 15 Virginia family and friends. You were in the hospital with Mommy and Danielle . They saw you lift your head up, as if to say goodbye as you left for The Rainbow Bridge🌈. They kissed you.

You gave unconditional love. Unlimited kisses whenever I asked .

It was my good fortune to take care of you whenever your family went away.I loved our times together. Walking in Central Park and chatting on a bench. Always time for kissing and snuggling.

The last time I stayed with you was our last time together. 10 wonderful days, even though you were on 9 medications. You weren’t in pain. Just fighting, and you were frisky too.

But, you knew it was our last time.

There was never a time you didn’t kiss me. I held you and said to kiss me if you would be there in August.

You wouldn’t kiss me.

Lucky forever missed , forever loved. Gama

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened .” Anatole French

Forever loved. When I’m able to think of him with love, not pain and tears, I will write him a goodbye letter. His loving energy will be with me forever . Have fun Lucky playing Over The 🌈Bridge

Gloria Vanderbilt

I just watched the beautiful tribute Nothing Left Unsaid: Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper.

Poignant Moving Sad

I would like to share a story

about the lovely and elegant Gloria Vanderbilt.

I’m a perfume lover. Always seeking the perfect scent.

Over 50 years ago I  was at the theater with my husband. A beautiful woman swept by, and she left a trail of a delicious scent. Her back was to me and I walked up and touched her on her shoulder.

”May I ask your scent”, I said.

“Oh of course she said sweetly. It’s Tuberose by Mary Chess. And you get a huge bottle for $7.50” as she held her hands  facing each other wide apart, showing the size of the bottle. “So inexpensive”, she smiled.

…….and that was my 25 second meeting with beautiful Gloria Vanderbilt who died recently.

Mary Chess Tuberose, I wore for many years until it was discontinued.

Gloria Vanderbilt will live on forever in Anderson Coopers heart and soul💐✨

 

 

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Noises…….Not Necessary

I read that “if you’re over 60 and wake up with nothing hurting,  you’re dead.” (unknown.)

Seems there’s some truth here.

I’ve been practicing Hatha Yoga for over 40 years, and consider myself flexible. Physically and emotionally. But, I’ve noticed getting in and out of Lyft (car sharing service) in the city, there seems to be too much noise coming from me in the way of grunts. No matter how lady like, still a grunt.

I decided while I was in Virginia to try to curb the noises. Not using a car service here, but still in and out of my sister in laws car, (and may I add, not a huge van.)…….I’m still grunting. Also in and out of chairs.

I made a conscious effort to stop. I surely don’t need the additional focus on age related sounds. That’s another post all together and may I add that “denial is a wonderful thing.” said by Kitty Carlisle many years ago, and timeless.

So far so good. I am quite disciplined and this is another way of practicing.

The new me….sans the grunts. Silence is really golden.

I would like to sincerely thank all new followers. I appreciate your support.

 

The Age Thing

My BFF is the same age I am. Actually she’s older……by a month. We have known each other since we were five.  We deliberately don’t  dwell on our number. Why would we?  What we do is relish the energy and venues of NYC. But, every now and then we talk about “it”……….and then quickly change the subject.

In golf terms, “we’re on the back nine.” A lot can happen finishing up a round of golf. You can win on the 18th.

There are quotes that hit the emotional mark about age. “A woman who tells her age will tell anything.” Oscar Wilde. I BTW tell my age..

Rosemary Harris when asked if she was really 90 by  Glenn Close said, “I’m 91. My last decade–it’s almost frightening because you push it away. But it’s there hovering, all the time.”  At the moment she’s on Broadway performing in My Fair Lady, so obviously she’s pushing.

I hope physically and emotionally to keep pushing.

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” Satchel Paige

It’s that time of year…..so everyone reading this….I wish you Happy Holidays and the good health to enjoy!!!!!  May 2019 be fulfilling and joyful.

 

 

I’m Really OK

I know what its like to be loved, I know what its like to be desired, I know what its like to be without romantic love, I know what its like to still desire. I have zero complaints. Having a soul connected love for almost fifty years, not without its problems, is a wish I wish for all the single women who have never known such love. The void is covered gently, but with a strong steel grateful protector. The internet is not a place I will meet another love. I may never meet another and that’s perfectly ok. I’m forever grateful for the loves, not romantic, that I have in my life. Family and friends as I have always said, “my emotional transfusions.” Not sad today even thought it’s gloomy outside.  Having a lovely cup of Lemon Verbena Tea, with honey, cinnamon, turmeric, and at the bottom of the cup, a surprise, a piece of un- crystalized ginger, productive in my apartment, and writing a little post just to say to anyone who reads this, that being ok is a lot better than not being ok,. Now, am I happy? That’s another subject altogether. With news as it is, difficult to have the innocent happiness I once had.  Am I able to feel joy? Of course.  So as I said, I’m really ok. Hope you are too……Just realized the clocks change this weekend. Dark at 4ish, and it takes me days to adjust.  It just means my hibernation will start soon and that brings me great contentment………..Time to cozy in…….

Self Love

“The only cure I have ever known for fear and doubt and loneliness is an immense love of self” Alison Malee