Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for September, 2015

Super Moon Crazies???

I read that a Super Moon can cause havoc…Well in the last week, a Verizon service guy going to the apartment near me, by mistake shut off my phones. Fortunately I was going away for the weekend, but without my phone Mon. and Tues. My phone service is IDT and they said they work with Verizon. So another service guy came out and fixed the problem with my wires four days later. My computer has also been behaving in a bad way, not being able to connect to the internet. I was really wiped and went to sleep at 1 and in a sound sleep was awakened at 2:30 by a friend who seems to call very late or very early. We don’t connect that often, so whenever he calls, we chat a bit.  A bit longer than we  thought  since it was 4am when I went to sleep. Now for the best part, I think. My  generous  son gave me a new IPhone…Just when I became so attached to 4, along comes a stranger 6…. Only one problem, no one could hear me in most of my rooms. No way was I going to go to Apple and wait for hours since you need an appointment. Hundreds of people are there at one time, and all with appointments. Called Apple Phone Service,  and I am not exaggerating. On the phone for 5 hours and most of the time, I had no idea what she was talking about….All I heard was erase all data and I was using my computer. Frightened and really numb after 5 hours with  nothing  resolved. I try to never say should have, or could have, because waste of time and energy but, I should have never gotten this strange phone until I came back. Did I mention I’m  going away with my “daughter’ to Spain on Friday. A still celebrating my special birthday holiday. The woman I was on with turned me over to a supervisor…  So James came to the rescue and said “I am so sorry what you have been through, I am here to help.”  He tried to undo all the stuff she did, but I knew ultimately I was going to venture to the dreaded Apple store. All because people were having difficulty hearing me. My friend who called in the middle of the night, I think  heard me loud and clear, certain rooms in my huge 700 square apartment were off-limits with this new thing ….and for all I know he may not have heard me. He doesn’t like most of my conversations re nutrition…he works late hours and in my opinion which I should keep to myself, he eats terribly. Another subject not exactly his favorite  is “what women really like and don’t like.”….So who knows if he was able to hear me for almost 2 hours. I’ll never know.

The saga continues. Phones still off and no internet …and everyone saying to me, “I can’t hear you.”

Very practical and rarely take taxis. Took two buses to Broadway to Apple store. Told my story to many and all said how very much they wanted to help me and how awful to be on the phone for 5 hours. Bottom line….go to Fifth and 59th to the all night Apple store. “You may have to wait a few hours, but at least your problem will be taken care of.” OMG….Out I went and took taxi to Fifth Avenue. Did I mention Obama is at the UN…$20 later I was in yet another Apple store. This one is opened 24/7…sort of a LL Bean  NYC style…I am exaggerating a bit, seemed like thousands of people were in the store. I told my sad saga to the right guy. I didn’t have to wait very long and my savior Ken appeared. Enough of this story except to say he made all better. Verizon came and my phone service was back on. A very nice guy who works in my building helped me out in the evening and found the missing wire to the modem and internet service was back on.  Practicing Yoga, Buddhist Philosophy, and Meditation really helps. I was crazed and thought of jumping in the East River after throwing the new phone first. ……and then I thought…”It could be so much worse….and smiled when I thought of the words grin and bear it. Not such a big deal after all.  Also have the opportunity to vent to all of you. Thank you for reading.

So  anybody have experiences sent by the Super Moon?…….If errors, please forgive. For some reason, I am exhausted.

To Mothers of Sons

I often use the word daughter to describe my New York daughter in law. Jokingly I told my oldest son to please bring home an orphan. I always wanted a daughter and just knew I would have a third son. I had two wonderful fabulous sons and there was no guarantee of a daughter. Perhaps all women would like to have one.  My younger son married first and I remember meeting his wife for the first time. We laughed together. I told her she had a mom, (a fantastic talented terrific woman) but she could always use another good woman friend. As mothers of sons, we should ask for two things, the third is a bonus. Someone who is a good wife and mother. The daughter in law part is the extra. Working for years on a women’s hot line, unfortunately it can be a terrible relationship. I heard horror stories and some of my own to add…….but I don’t want negativity in this post.  So my older son did marry an orphan and at my 65th birthday celebration, she toasted me by saying “she was looking for me her entire life.” as I was looking for her. They also live where I live. When I go to California, my daughter in law makes sure I go to  parties they attend and I do laugh more in California than anyplace I go to……even New York. She and my son have a sense of fun. Not that I don’t have that in New York, but California is a vacation and I look forward to being with my family and some of their friends are my friends…..on Facebook too. Extra bonus.

One of life’s joys is being loved by the ones you love and I believe I have that. I can’t wait for both my daughters in-laws to be mother in- laws………..and while I’m thinking……grandmothers too……wanted to add that it’s a pretty good feeling raising sons to be really terrific husbands and fathers. A purpose realized.


Everyone thinks of  celebrations in their own way. When my sons were little, every holiday was a major celebration and it was sheer joy. At the time I was volunteering in a mental health hospital doing occupational therapy, so every holiday there were things to make with  patients. I remember one Easter actually making cement, searching with the patients for a perfect tree branch, container, and there appeared…the branch for the Easter Egg Tree. Of course the idea was then brought home and we then made the eggs and hung them on the tree. As the boys got older, the celebrations were a bit more private, not having the big birthday parties,  but small intimate family dinners, out. When the boys left and the empty nest arrived, my husband and I enjoyed celebrating with each other.

So in April  I had a milestone birthday and in New York, my son and “daughter” asked if I wanted a luncheon, dinner, cocktail party, whatever. Immediately I said I would love nothing like that. The joy would be my East Coast children and granddaughter, together with my West Coast son,  daughter in law and grandsons. My daughter in law was terrific in welcoming us literally taking over their home and making us feel welcome, not like invaders. Of course she did go away for a few days, and ummmmmmm was that planned? I don’t blame her. We weren’t intrusive but still a change in routine. I feel it was the very best celebration. Everyone got along and love was in the air. My sons enjoyed their time together  as I did and with my grandchildren all being together.  Now a bonus celebration. I am taking my New York daughter in law to Spain for a week , and she is taking me. Easy one to figure out. We will be staying in one room and my son wanted to know if we made  any rules. Not necessary since we both love and respect each other and both know how special this trip is. I am so grateful for my California celebration and now this. My husband’s love and energy are never far away. Always working on myself by myself to be forever grateful for all I have in my life and not just focus on him not being here in the physical sense. Someone once told me “he’s only in the next room.” I said I looked and he wasn’t there. It took me many years to understand he is always with me.  Jane took the photo of the Sunflower and the Butterfly, and tried to tell me the same thing years ago. I now understand. Never too late to embrace the comfort of spirituality.

Next week Hello Spain. Time to once again Celebrate……..

I Appreciate You

I would like to take this opportunity to thank followers of my blog. First for taking the time to read. Your comments are  a bonus. Writing is what pours out of our hearts and souls. I have never done journalistic, political, or intellectual writing. Mine is reflective and emotional and comes from truth. When some of you say my words inspire, and you can relate to what I am saying,  my purpose has been realized. Thank you all kindly. Paulette

Is Life Really So Simple?

A brilliant Buddhist  I met many years ago at a party told me something  I never forgot. He said “life is really quite simple and we complicate it.” Not talking of course about unforeseen events that can change everything. But, everyday life challenges and how we accept the good , the bad, and the fantastic. It’s quite easy when everything is going your way, but what about when your emotional strength must come to  surface? I  had a most interesting conversation with a bus driver yesterday. A woman who had the attitude of a yogi. Positive sharp, kind, and a joy to talk to. She mentioned  people can be mean-spirited and  she can usually tell immediately by their expression when they board the bus. Unhappiness and fretting over the smallest things can cause harmful  stress . The more I think about it, attitude and your own emotional tools and resources can very often change the outcome of most situations. Many people cause their own problems. Think of the people you really enjoy being with. The family and friends who nourish. The older I become, the more selective I am about who I let in my life. A positive attitude and the ability to feel joy.  Having a therapist 24/7 helps. ME….

Maybe life is simple…… long as we don’t watch the news.

Happy Birthday John

Today was one of the happiest days of my life. September 15, 1958. A most beautiful full head of blond hair, perfectly wonderful baby born was born. Our first son. Of course little did I know 18 months later, another beautiful baby boy arrived. Just as beautiful and just as loved. But today I celebrate John. In good times and sad times, he was a terrific little boy, and grew up to be a terrific man. Still a devoted son, but now the best husband and father. I wrote on his card how proud I am of him, and how much I appreciate all he does for me and how forever grateful I am that he is always there. On the back of the card, I wrote “but you could call more.”…he thought that was humorous. I do talk to him once a week, but as a mom is it ever enough? Not my style to be a nag because the word smother is mother with an s. I love how our weird sense of humor melds into one that most would not understand, but we do. So today  I am so happy to wish you all  that you wish for yourself John, and I love you forever, heart and soul….


My great love

My great love

Yesterday, When I Was Young

You are with me heart and soul every day every night forever

mother nature is a man and other observations..

Charles Aznavour so mood evoking and brings back memories of dancing together. September 13th is a day of reflection and remembering to remember you, The two of us together… I remember you dear Barry with love, not sadness. Today you would have been 85. You were so young and vital at 73. Eleven  years ago. Missing you for the rest of my life. Celebrating today who you were and who you are to me today. Forever comforting.

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you….I could walk through my garden forever.”   Alfred Tennyson

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Body Image (for women only)

I never thought I had any body issues……slender all my life so weight never a problem. I have been doing yoga, walking, weights, forever……but at almost 100, well not exactly, but goes without question, your body ages. It comes with the vintage title. Not complaining, just observing.  Health is the all important issue.

Now to the gritty part…there is one answer to all the questions…Just not a pretty sight.

I don’t scrutinize myself when I get out of the tub/shower. Easier not  to look. See above why.

I once told a nameless almost, who shall remain that way, that “maybe but under the covers and with only a  tiny votive candle for lighting”.  A red Burka would replace any thought of lingerie that I purchased on Ebay for $28. Poor investment since nothing ever happened. Fortunately.

So, I stopped wearing sleeveless tee shirts years ago….moved to cap sleeves…..then graduated to above the elbow…not too long when below the elbow, and that worked for years. See above why.

Anyone know where I can buy fine cotton tee shirts, not made in China, that go to just below the knuckle?



Women and Choices?

I would like to say in no way do I consider myself a therapist or expert in women’s issues. I AM a woman, and I have lived to an age where one hopes wisdom arrives at the same time. Through my volunteer work, when I lived in New Jersey, another lifetime ago, and up to today, I have spoken to hundreds and hundreds of women of all ages. 18-98. For  good reasons, women relate to one another.  My words  do not come from anger, nor  am I  a male basher.  I had the most wonderful husband, have two devoted loving sons, and grandsons…Never had horrible experience with a man. The only rejection in my lifetime, a pretty good record, and not about to repeat here, was and is on my blog A Short Sad Story. Allegory/Alleglory was about a humorous, bright, good-looking guy,I believed enjoyed himself more than wanting any kind of relationship. He said he was sincere, but intuitively I thought otherwise. Acquaintances now, and enough said about that


No matter what strides women have made since the feminist movement, and there have been many. College and career choices …….. but what about  socially? Just had  conversation with some women in their 20’s. A man still has to say the magic, to some, words, “Will you marry me.” Even calling a guy after a date is not easy. Women generally wait  to hear first. Women in their 30’s say a man may take you out twice and things were great…Did he call a third time?  Now what? She finds out he’s taking out a woman in her 20’s…… Sadly many women I have spoken to 65+ may miss the human touch in a very real sense. I know the word sex is rarely mentioned in the “vintage” community, other than to make fun of, in a less than dignified way, Personally I will say, a sad void in my life unless one wants to count “self-love.” Not exactly the same,  perhaps for some, better after listening to various experiences women have  had. I One man said, and he thought it was a compliment,  “you could get laid by any guy out there.” Well, it’s going to be 11 years and that hasn’t happened. Also need  to add on a a personal note,  that  is not easy for sons to separate the woman from the mother. They are definitely not  interested in the words yearning , needs,  etc. The word companion sort of appeals to them. They would love to see me happy, but not so much interested in what would really make me happy. Back to that ridiculous remark. Most women, not all, are very much interested in a man making love. Sadly not that many men know the art and it is an art form.

The choice women have? Not so sure……………………………………………My choice though is the  choice of not searching for some illusive dream. I will never give up the hope there might be someone wonderful out there, but he will just have to be in my path  so I can see him. It’s all a matter of luck……in my opinion……