Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Single in New York City

Complaining not… just an observation. “Women of a certain age” or women of all ages might relate to this subject. Is being a single woman in New York City, about the worst place to actually find your first, or second or any soul mate? Of course, I am only addressing the women who are interested in finding one. I have met and talked with many, who have either given up due to terrible experiences, or no experiences. Not sure which one is worse. I was one of the lucky ones. I know what is to be loved and in love. Told I had to ” get out there,” I did, and even wrote a blog about the “getting out there” process. Meeting strangers on-line, even though I was skeptical might work, so I gave it more than a passing thought. I went on all of them to no avail. Not even a second date, but kept going on after being reinforced by hearing about one or two successful stories. I also blogged about some of those experiences. Not exactly terrific….A lesson learned though, and a good one for me, is never go on again….and even on a dark rainy night, after a glass and maybe another half of wine, feeling a bit sad and lonely, I would pass the computer and say to myself, don’t you dare. A little behavior modification is good, and I immediately went to the place in my memory, where I put some of the dating experiences …that place allowed me to walk right by the computer to the kitchen, where I made a bag of no oil, no salt, no taste popcorn…the secret is putting some olive oil on the hot popcorn, and that makes it all worthwhile to eat the entire bag. So maybe, not be so selective, and go for nice, instead of the exciting and unrealistic, love at first sight. Leave the chemistry aspect aside. Not sure about that form of settling. Once you’ve had a soul mate, you know the connection There has to be other old soul out there waiting for the right what? Time, place, universe connection? All luck? Right time right place? Which is it? The only thing I’m really sure about? NYC for a single woman can be rough terrain. So what to do? Stop looking, and experience all the glory of the city. The sights, smells, lights, parks, people greeting each other, saying thank you to bus drivers, doormen, all service people. Showing kindness, taking in the beauty of your surroundings, and when you least expect it, the illusive ” he” will come into your life. Sounds good, and asking me if I believe my own words. Well, on a Friday, I might be in some exceptional fantasy mood, and know for sure it will. Ask me a few days later, maybe not so sure..Now we shall just have to see…Pure luck? Fantasy believer? It will happen when it’s right? When it’s meant to be? Oh well, the fun will be in the wait and see. The waiting game is better than the looking part…patience…enjoy your life and all the people in it. The energy of the city and all it has to offer. If the ” he” comes into your life, how wonderful, and if not, well, you have experienced the joy of romantic love and just remember to remember. Remembering is so much better than looking, because it was real. The waiting is real too. Awake and aware and who knows? Lucky? Why not!

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