Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Hearing the word control or controlling conjures up a personality that I avoid strongly.  I did have some controlling friends once upon a time ago. They were part of My Friendship Garden that I pruned . When you do that, it’s amazing how quickly a new and beautiful plant appears. One that forever stays. But, getting back to the control issue. I have been told in a loving, not critical way by family and friends, that I am very disciplined. I do believe the practice of the philosophy of Buddhism attributes to that aspect of my personality. Also practicing yoga for 40 years and a strong consumer interest in nutrition. When my sons were young, they would trade brown bread and peanut butter and jelly for white wonder bread and marshmallow fluff. Now they say “Mom you were ahead of yourself.” I was I guess controlling as far as what they ate at home, but not in an obsessive way. They both had a sleep out and when they came home raved about the wonderful dinner they had, and why I can’t make them the same delicious dinner. They described in detail the  chicken, veggie, apple sauce, cookie,  and all in a great tin container. I called the mom even though I knew they were raving about a TV Dinner. A stranger in our home.  So anyway, their big treat when we had plans to go out, and they were with a sitter,  was one of those. Eating or using a cosmetic with something  that I can’t spell or pronounce is a no-no. I have a label now, a pescatarian, a  vegan who eats fish and eggs. When you live a healthy life style, re exercise, nourishing food and people, it becomes natural. It would be counter productive if it was work. Diets don’t work. People generally lose 40 lbs and gain back 45lbs. That is my definition of a diet. Changing your life style takes control….controlling yourself…..and that is the point of this post. Being able to have control over yourself is what gives you the discipline over your food intake, exercise, and just as important, especially for me, controlling my  thoughts. When my husband died  suddenly, I was in shock. My grieving process took a very long time. You get over, but never forget. In the process, I had to let go of judging questionable friends who questioned my grieving. However making your life easier in a positive way is worth trying. I had to take complete control over me. My thoughts, my activities, my friends, my life. I decided to make a grateful list and I had so much to be grateful for. The huge void of not having my husband with me could not make everything else meaningless. I learned how to compartmentalized. It is such a mellow feeling  to think happy, not sad. Grateful, not taking for granted.  The important decision I made was to run away, and yes I did run away from New Jersey to New York City. One of the best decision I made, and it was immediate. I took control even in my grief. Having wonderful devoted loving family helped of course. I lived with my son, “daughter” and granddaughter for 18 months. I knew it was not going to be a forever thing. I had to create my new life. My favorite saying is my family and friends are my emotional transfusions. So control is definitely not a negative in my perspective. It’s just me I’m controlling…..But, to be honest I do try with my children to very gently advise them on good nutritional habits. At times they listen. Most  of the time I will hear….”Mom stop trying to control.” ……….Who Me?????

 

Comments on: "Control Controlling…A Good Thing" (2)

  1. Ronnie Friedland said:

    Love this post…your own unique, original perspective, one worth thinking about…

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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