Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

I’m Really OK

I know what its like to be loved, I know what its like to be desired, I know what its like to be without romantic love, I know what its like to still desire. I have zero complaints. Having a soul connected love for almost fifty years, not without its problems, is a wish I wish for all the single women who have never known such love. The void is covered gently, but with a strong steel grateful protector. The internet is not a place I will meet another love. I may never meet another and that’s perfectly ok. I’m forever grateful for the loves, not romantic, that I have in my life. Family and friends as I have always said, “my emotional transfusions.” Not sad today even thought it’s gloomy outside.  Having a lovely cup of Lemon Verbena Tea, with honey, cinnamon, turmeric, and at the bottom of the cup, a surprise, a piece of un- crystalized ginger, productive in my apartment, and writing a little post just to say to anyone who reads this, that being ok is a lot better than not being ok,. Now, am I happy? That’s another subject altogether. With news as it is, difficult to have the innocent happiness I once had.  Am I able to feel joy? Of course.  So as I said, I’m really ok. Hope you are too……Just realized the clocks change this weekend. Dark at 4ish, and it takes me days to adjust.  It just means my hibernation will start soon and that brings me great contentment………..Time to cozy in…….

Self Love

“The only cure I have ever known for fear and doubt and loneliness is an immense love of self” Alison Malee

Important Tool

When you learn how to intellectualize your emotions, you’re in charge and that’s empowering.

The heart and brain must work as a team. Self love means respecting and protecting yourself. Be with those you trust and a red flag is exactly that.

Your intuition and common sense… also a great team.

It’s all about how important are you… to yourself.

A few emotional tools I use…. constantly .

Hunger Pangs

A great feeling when my niece loves my tips on nutrition. Lovely when you make a difference. A positive influence. We all get that feeling when we want to eat everything that’s not crawling. I remember before I  discovered trigger foods that make you hungrier….. that you can eat all you want of certain very filling and nutritious foods. I remember being hungry and eating a pretzel…..then another…then another. crunchy and salty. Then a handful of surgery cereal and then another handful….granola actually and full of sugar. I might add  being fortunate, I never had a weight problem. The most I ever wanted to lose was 8 pounds, but when you have a very slender and small figure, that’s a lot. I knew after age 50, certain foods were not allowed in the house. Chips, anything fried, all animals for food……I became a pescetarian . A vegan that eats dairy and fish. Someone once told me that nothing tastes as good as feeling thin feels….. I put my own slant on and say nothing tastes as good as feeling healthy feels. Body image is very different for different people. I realized I have to eat several meals a day. This I have been doing for over 50 years. I never realized that health wise, it was something I had to do, having mitral valve prolapse. If you don’t eat several meals a day, you get very anxious. It has to with the  autonomic nervous system. It works for me to always have nuts or dried fruit with me at all times so I’m never hungry.  So, back to what you can eat that is filling and a few tips. Always have on hand in the refrigerator a few of these veggies…….washed and cut up celery, colored peppers, radishes, carrots, string beans, tomatoes,  cucumbers, and super greens. humus is a great snack as well. Especially the ones made with olive oil. Not a combination of various oils. . Water based veggies are filling. When I’m in Virginia, my sister-in-law, the wonderful cook, always has veggies ready to eat. She has jicama, radishes, onions, garlic,  turnips, and every veggie known to man. It’s so much better there, because she has such a variety. If you enjoy dark chocolate, try the darkest, with a few almonds…. I am so used to 95-100% that anything sweeter is too sweet. Speaking of which, I don’t have a sweet tooth, because when I was growing up, we never had pastries for dessert, we had fresh fruit.  I read about nutrition and it seems sugar is the villain. There is sugar in almost everything and the easiest thing to do is read ingredient’s. If I buy canned soups, I buy low sodium and organic. Amy’s are wonderful. I adore good bread and that’s why it’s never in my home. When I go out, that’s my treat. Lots of it with olive oil. For me so much of a treat instead of any dessert. It’s easy to open a can of beans when hungry and add some mustard. Gourmet mustard on celery works.. The more sugar you eat, the more you want to eat. Same goes for carbs. Scandinavian Crisp Bread. GG is not only filling, but very high in fiber. I’m not a nutritionist. I only know you have to eat. And we are what we eat. The older you become, the more you realize that eating is for pleasure, but first and foremost, for nutrition, So when you have hunger pangs, don’t have chips…….. open your refrigerator and see the beautiful array of colorful veggies to satisfy you. Cheers to your good health….

Organic Pumpkin Seeds

I found almost impossible to find this nutritious seed Not Made in China. I finally found the best. I have nothing to do with the company. All I know is this. Proudly Made in Oregon and this is printed on the back. Calcium,Iron,Magnesium,Potassium, Zinc… VitaminsA, B1, B2, B3, B6, CDE.

You can google Seed Oil Company. I did and purchased on Amazon. Pricy, but better than the cost of pastries and unhealthy snacks. Cheers to your good health🤗

The End/ or The Beginning

So, isn’t it all how you perceive life….. Summer is over, that’s true, and all the wonders of the sultry carefree days behind us. But, oh the memories we all have….and hope they are special ones and you all had good health to enjoy your wonder-filled moments.. I like to think of all the possibilities that Fall brings. The marketing plan for Circle my co-author and I want to accomplish.  The  dreams of a better political time. The dreams of unfulfilled past dreams. The excitement of NYC and l the new venues. Tickets for so many cultural events. Family and Friends to do fun things with. My oldest sons birthday in September. When he was born as well as my younger son, only 18 months apart, those were two of the happiest days of my life. I focus always on the positive, occasionally removing toxic energy and people from my life. It makes living a mindfulness life that much easier. Peace of mind is the essence of ones goal, in my opinion, in attaining the joys of gratitude. So, I welcome the end of Summer and look forward to all  the possibilities of the new seasons ahead. May all reading this have many moments of joy ahead.

I appreciate my followers and when you comment, I always answer. Relating to my words is one of my joys……no matter what season it is!!!!!!!!

Going Home…….Again

Once again, after a wonderful summer in Virginia, it’s time to go back to NYC. It’s so much more than a vacation . My life changes. Certainly not lonely in the city, just alone. Mostly. I do have a best friend in my bedroom that I don’t have here. My TV. Goes on first thing in the morning and shut off last thing at night. I didn’t  miss you.

I promised I wouldn’t think about packing up the cartons until the day before I need to do. I didn’t keep my promise. I’m sad. I’m not exactly going home to a boring life. My family, friends and tickets to the venues I enjoy are waiting.

But my family and friends in Virginia hold a special place in my heart. May I add, I’m forever grateful having two places with an abundance of love in both. Viorica’s friends became my friends.

It’s the laughter, happy feelings , and special bonding with my sister in law I will miss…….I thankfully don’t need taking care of, but it’s what she does. Home cooked meals almost every night . Our sharing

talks about everything every night. The beach memories with wonderful  deWitt family . Private talks with my enchanting smart and beautiful grand/great nieces . It’s everything . I lead a surburban life here as well. . Going to the train station with Viorica, I’ll once again say, “ I can’t believe it went so fast.

And again, Emma and Hannah brought up their idea of me moving here, buying a home with the two Gaga’s and living together as the Richmond Golden Girls…. and once again, I think which one  would I be???

I haven’t had a garden in almost 14 years. The land baren and arid.

Someone “promised me a rose garden.” Over and over again he wrote me  how he would love and nourish the soil. He was also without a garden. He seemed to know what was necessary to go from gloom to bloom.

Patrick, the potential gardner, was from a far away land. Australia, and knew nothing about soil conditions in NYC.

It seems he was tending gardens in Melbourne where he was obviously more comfortable.

It’s never my style to be demanding, but it was my first real garden and I wanted it to be lovely. Bright colors and the right ratio of plants and flowers. Integrity, good work ethics, and of course honesty. I appreciated his daily assurances.

i never asked for references. I have a keen sense of intuition. It was that ability that prompted me to write a goodbye message. Too much distance. His many health issues.

Over 500 emails from May-August. Seems excessive. I guess my judgement impaired with the vision of a magnificent garden.

I was going to send my last message. I didn’t have to. I received his. Expected because he was never specific in his plans to visit. He had more health issues.

I believed he was the man for the job. He wasn’t. It was what it was and it was what it wasn’t. Simple.

He decided to stay in his own backyard. I felt free and empowered.

I wanted a garden, not a yard🦋🌻🌺🌷🌼🌲🌹🌸🌾







A Moment In Time

They are sisters in law . More like loving sisters. Both woke up with heavy hearts. After dinner, one put on disco music and the two of them danced, laughing, and fantasizing in the kitchen. A beautiful moment and their hearts were lifted.