mother nature is a man and other observations..

Everyone told me not to tell the truth about my age when I first tried the internet. I originally went on the dating sites as a 99 old widow from New York, just to get some material for a chapter in a book being written at the time. Of course no man ,unless he had a great sense of humor, contacted me. For the first time, I was somewhat in charge of the social situation. For all the many strides women have made in the world, socially not so much has changed since 1952. We still have to wait for “the call backs.”…unless of course you’re young and hooking up. At my age hooking up denotes tubes and fluids being fed to you. So I went on checking to see if any widowers grieved the way women do.There is a saying that women grieve and men replace. Not judging at all, just observing that when I lived in New Jersey, four months tops, perhaps a month, to “get on with it.”…the “it” seemed to help their grief move along as well. Again, even if women had the desire, their choices were limited at best…..Lo and behold, my faith was restored when widowers from Alaska to Wyoming answered my email question. When did you want to live, love, and laugh again? I wasn’t dating them, just questioning and received hundreds of emails back. One young man 55,said it had taken him four years to even think about dating, he had such a romantic marriage, once again validating my observation that it is the relationship one is grieving for. Certainly, a new relationship helps tremendously. Also many of the men were over 70 and who knows, so why not??? One woman I knew became a widow, and wanted to be a couple again. She really worked at finding someone. It paid off, since she has remarried ,and is very happy. Unfortunately she told me that she didn’t have a support system of women friends when her husband died, and the void made it more difficult for her to be without a spouse.
My quest was done more with humor then really thinking I was going to find Prince Charming on line, or forget the prince, a great guy, realistically, “a companion.” Actually, I don’t want a companion. I have alot of wonderful women companions, I’m not interested in “that” without “that other part, hopefully in working order.
So I went on about five years ago and lied about my age by five years. I checked out the guy I was meeting on People Search for free, and he lied by 15 years. I immediately told him my correct age when we met,and he never budged from his number. It was hilarious because he looked so much older and wanted me to believe he was alot younger than I was. Anyway, when we left after having a drink, he asked if I was interested in a relationship. A RELATIONSHIP!!! I hardly spoke to him, had nothing in common, and he had such white dazzling teeth that I would need to wear sunglasses, even at night to subdue the glare. He said he had a feeling we could make it together. Make what together I thought. I tried to be pleasant and said I had the feeling we really wouldn’t. He told me the offer would always be on the table. I never bothered to figure out where the table was. Oh well.