mother nature is a man and other observations..

On line dating, hunting, fishing, and camping have never been high priorities on my bucket list…but after a glass of wine ,and a particularly lonely, long, dreary evening, It seems easier to believe in miracles ,and make the choice of going on just one more time.  I go through the profiles like a deck of cards, all containing jokers. The best are the men who pose without their shirts, proudly along side a truck, and I imagine they think it’s some sort of turn on. Somehow, I have never been turned on by a truck. The other I won’t bother to comment…think you get the picture.  The why not excuses,  are what I use in going on ,yet for another try???  It seems like a good idea at the time……… but those decisions usually become, what was I thinking?  There are some miracle stories that I have heard and read in the New York Times wedding news. Unfortunately none of my friends have met anyone on the venue, including me, but at least I have tried….and then sorry I did.      On paper, the guy sounded good. Psychiatric counselor with credentials. He told me to google him and I did. I was slightly impressed by his writing.  First major mistake was not following my own rules….. number one is a coffee or drink at the most…never ever dinner…too long for a quick getaway.    May I add, I don’t need to eat at some place with Zagat stars… I’m a vegetarian and get along very well with little food. A punishment would be some very  high price fixed dinner with many courses. So that out of the way, I do like places that have integrity     So the “doctor” and I met, and my first impression was give it a little time, although I was ready to leave upon entering the restaurant, where they were mopping the floors and table tops with windex at 6pm…really now!!! We sat down ,and within a few seconds  he takes out his coupon and gives to the waiter. Discreet not…By this time I knew wine wouldn’t do it for me, so ordered a Jack Daniels and a small plate of avacado and veggies. No entree….”No entree” the doctor said…”Well I’m going to have yours wrapped up. You’re entitled to have one, so I might as well take it.” I was thinking he would then tell me that there is a homeless person he will give it to on his way home. No No…he was taking it to his home. I forgot to add that we had a tiny table for two and there were three tables surrounding us. He then, out of nowhere, went into a vulgar and vile tirade about his ex girlfriend. I looked like a deer caught in the headlights, because the couple next to us were listening, and unless I could pole vault over their table, I was stuck. This guy became a lunatic and the only way he stopped was when he got some urgent text,  probably from his ex, and asked for the check immediately. At first I thought I was on Prime Time, What Would You Do, but realized the vulgarity would have never been allowed. When the check arrived, it was my get out of jail free card, on the table.  I was saved, and the couple next to our table immediately got up, feeling my urgency to get out.      Did I say that I will never ever go on the internet again to find Mr. Right? He’s not there.  
I still believe in miracles…