mother nature is a man and other observations..

It seems to me that so much pressure is put upon us to be happy. In practicing the philosophy of Buddhism, happiness is a goal to attain. We all go through periods of life when happiness is impossible to feel. I realize it is perfectly fine not to feel happy all the time. Perhaps if born with a cheery personality, the feeling of happiness is easy. People are trying so hard to be happy, that they feel guilty not being happy all the time. Then, there are others who relish in their unhappiness. I prefer to use the description content or OK, and that is perfectly OK. There is much that contributes to happiness that I live by. A glorious feeling, although somewhat illusive. My brother , a psychiatrist for over 50 years said” patients look for a happy pill.” There is no such thing, if they dislike their life, the pill will make it easier to cope, but basically their life “still sucks” in their words and state of mind. I think I represent many that can feel utter joy at times, and then the other moments of sadness, and then the hard work it takes without counseling working on myself. Not by some therapists who could do more harm than good. An unskilled surgeon can kill you, and an inadequate therapist can kill your soul. So, I’m my own therapist, and it works for me, in keeping a positive energy and spirit surrounding me. I would never judge those who benefit from therapeutic guidance, medication, or both. I am grateful I never suffered from clinical depression, just the normal reactive sadness that is perfectly accepted by me, and if I suffer from anything, it’s acute sensitivity. When I was in my 20’s I was at a party chatting socially with a rather well-known psychiatrist, I felt comfortable enough to ask if out of seven days, four were great and the rest, sometimes not so great but still productive. The other three had some dwelling in the past, fearing the future. He thought four out of seven ? Terrific. So I had permission to feel it was OK. I realize and exalt at this age and time in my life, what really gives me contentment and gratitude…and also accept why I still mourn for my husband and my life as I knew it. My happy times switch from dreaming about meeting my next soul mate, which is as unrealistic as becoming the first female pope, made even more difficult by the fact I am not Catholic, nor do I intend to convert, contrasting with hoping and dreaming never giving up certain goals. Contentment and satisfaction in my life is consistent, joy being with family and friends, having a passion for writing, enjoying soul nourishing music, beautifully mood evoking, and knowing I show kindness at every opportunity, so I have come to the conclusion, I may not laugh as much as I should, and I protect myself not reading or watching depressing anything. Taking in the energy living in one of the greatest cities in the world. I’m aware of all the news, just not overly involved. So instead of the Happy New Year I have been saying, I am going to be realistic and wish everyone good health, good times and the lovely feeling of contentment and gratitude. Not a less than happy feeling. Searching always for realistic rainbows, appreciating the colors, but not looking for the pot of gold. and most of all, living and rejoicing in the moment. Every hour doesn’t have to be happy, but every moment must be relished. Not so difficult. Is that sort of happy? I think so!