Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Alone

There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I think there’s a big difference, or maybe I talk myself into thinking that way. We can use our mind to talk ourselves in and out of whatever we want. I choose to think that for the last ten years, I have learned to live alone. I have also learned not to think of loneliness as an option. I live in New York City. The city that never sleeps….I have the choice of going out 24/7 for food, hairdresser, movies, shopping in all night drug stores, and whatever. Have I ever gone? Will I ever? No of course not. Forever forever grateful for all the family and friends in my life. As I always say, my emotional transfusions. Actually only people who live alone know exactly what it’s like living alone. You eat alone, if someone actually cooks, you cook alone, you watch television and listen to music alone, you wake up and go to sleep alone. You are alone. There are so many single women in New York City, the numbers are huge. So, as many of us do, you find something lovely about being alone. You can eat anything at any hour. You can watch whatever you want. You can You can You can……anything and everything…..but who wants to really? After many years women accept their fate and say things like…..”I love being alone. Who needs a man? Who wants to be a nurse or a purse? If a man came through my roof, that would be the only way I would be with one. I never want to do his laundry. Maybe one in my life, occasionally in my bed, but never in my apartment.”
For me personally, I love what Betty White said, “I had the best, who needs the rest.”
But, and a big but. Occasionally when alone, a ten second pity party and let the tears flow. I just can’t stay too long at the party. Sheer joy is being in love with a man who loves you back. Just remembering takes away any lonely feeling and brings me comfort and joy, and even hope….still…..
Hey, it’s almost 8pm and I didn’t have lunch. Dinner can be anytime and great left overs from a family favorite restaurant night….in a basket while I watch television.
Alone yes, feeling lonely no. Do I love living alone? Of course not!!!!!!

Comments on: "Alone" (1)

  1. “If you lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company.” Sartre

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