Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Toxic, No Thank You!!!!

I wrote a post called Friendship Garden. In essence it’s about removing toxic plants to make room for beautiful new ones. Of course it was a metaphor about letting go of people who are not healthy for you to be near. I call it emotional housecleaning. The same way it feels good to get rid of “stuff”, the feeling is even better when the stuff happens to be people. I don’t like using the words get rid of when it comes to humans, a bit harsh…I use letting go. The more you let go of negative energy that other people create for you, or you allow them to create, the better you feel and the healthier you are emotionally and physically.
I find I do this periodically because you can’t be all things to all people. You love and adore your family and that’s where expectations are the highest. When you have friends “who get you,” there is nothing like that feeling. Its nourishing. It’s joyful. It’s the way it ought to be.
So when you have someone in your life who is excessively needy, and in my case, I’m talking about a woman friend or ex friend, who’s extremely narcissistic, when it’s only and all about her, you can make excuses for a time, you can even get along, for a time, but eventually the time comes when it is easier to not have them in your life. That’s a decision you have to make, and be comfortable with. (Fortunately she doesn’t read my blog.)
I often wonder why it is so much easier for me to let go of a negative toxic person than it is of clothes I haven’t worn in 50 years……..but you never know, I might have an occasion to wear……and the person? A No! Well, I am forever grateful to have so many friends for so many years and just as important new, interesting, and wonderful new friends that are just waiting to bloom.

Comments on: "Toxic, No Thank You!!!!" (11)

  1. I totally get that of course! We have had that discussion several times. I had a “friend” since high school that is also one of the most narcissistic people I know (outside of my mother) and someone whom I know I would not be friends with if we were to meet today. But I hung on and was loyal even through her cancer scare. That was when I just couldn’t take it anymore. She became even more obnoxious! I still pray for her (easier to help with anger) It is almost impossible to pray for someone and stay mad at them. However, I have permanently removed her from my life and I think I am much better off without her in it! 🙂 ❤

    • Hi Courtney,
      Sorry, thought I answered. Senior moment .
      It takes strength to empower yourself as you did. That kind of personality, narcissist, is very difficulty for me to overlook and deal with their traits. We nourish friends and can’t have toxic energy surrounding us. It gets easier to see the red flags. I stayed friends with this one for ten years, and then realized I didn’t want her drama.
      Good we both empowered ourselves. Love our connection. Keep the positive and let go of the others.
      Thank you always for your genuine comments. xoxo

  2. Elyse Rothenberg said:

    Amen! So delightful to meet you in the video last night after Bill Maher! Great minds think a like
    Elyse Rothenberg

    • Hi Elyse,
      Thank you very much for reading and commenting. I appreciate and returning your words. Delightful to meet you as well.
      I run events for if you’re interested in connecting.
      Stitch is a site that is more like a community.
      Dec.9th having event at Comic Strip. My fifth one. Women mostly your age group. A few brave men attending too. The women are evolved and interesting. 2 drink min. No admission charge.
      Hope we are so happy with election results.

  3. Marsha Mann Larner said:

    Dearest Paula Paulette

    This blog so resonates with me indeed.

    I have completely weeded my family and friendship garden the past few years.
    I chose to eliminate all the toxic people in my life no matter how we were related. I refuse to breathe their air ever again.
    If I would feel guilty ( for a passing moment or more my mantra was ” you are taking up space in my head I want you gone” as I put my palm on my forehead and repeated it again and again until they were “gone” from my thoughts and my life.
    All of your blogs and all of your words say and feel what most people do not have the spiritual protection to accomplish.
    Yay you my friend👏👏👍
    Even if it truly resonates with one or many it’s one more than before and many who are grateful for the evolvement…

    • Heartfelt thank you dear Marsha. Weeding is the best thing to do for your peace of mind. I relate to your words and feel your pain and then your empowerment. I do somewhat the same by saying out out out!!!!! I appreciate what you wrote and it makes me feel what I try to do with purpose….to inspire. I have re read your comments over and over again because of the spiritual tie we have and I love your sincerity and truth. Your words touch me. Love

  4. susan schrenzel said:

    So beautifully expressed…….
    and so totally relate….

  5. Hey Paulette.. Did you see my earlier comment?? 😦

    • Hi Courtney, Senior moment . We share many same experiences and I relate to your words. Thank you for your relatable comments . Good she’s out of your life. Can you read my comments? Marsha also has a way to let the toxic ones exit. Have a loving Thanksgiving. xoxo

      Sent from my iPhone

      Cheers❣Paula Link to My Blog:


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