Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

I’m Really OK

I know what its like to be loved, I know what its like to be desired, I know what its like to be without romantic love, I know what its like to still desire. I have zero complaints. Having a soul connected love for almost fifty years, not without its problems, is a wish I wish for all the single women who have never known such love. The void is covered gently, but with a strong steel grateful protector. The internet is not a place I will meet another love. I may never meet another and that’s perfectly ok. I’m forever grateful for the loves, not romantic, that I have in my life. Family and friends as I have always said, “my emotional transfusions.” Not sad today even thought it’s gloomy outside.  Having a lovely cup of Lemon Verbena Tea, with honey, cinnamon, turmeric, and at the bottom of the cup, a surprise, a piece of un- crystalized ginger, productive in my apartment, and writing a little post just to say to anyone who reads this, that being ok is a lot better than not being ok,. Now, am I happy? That’s another subject altogether. With news as it is, difficult to have the innocent happiness I once had.  Am I able to feel joy? Of course.  So as I said, I’m really ok. Hope you are too……Just realized the clocks change this weekend. Dark at 4ish, and it takes me days to adjust.  It just means my hibernation will start soon and that brings me great contentment………..Time to cozy in…….

Self Love

“The only cure I have ever known for fear and doubt and loneliness is an immense love of self” Alison Malee

The End/ or The Beginning

So, isn’t it all how you perceive life….. Summer is over, that’s true, and all the wonders of the sultry carefree days behind us. But, oh the memories we all have….and hope they are special ones and you all had good health to enjoy your wonder-filled moments.. I like to think of all the possibilities that Fall brings. The marketing plan for Circle my co-author and I want to accomplish.  The  dreams of a better political time. The dreams of unfulfilled past dreams. The excitement of NYC and l the new venues. Tickets for so many cultural events. Family and Friends to do fun things with. My oldest sons birthday in September. When he was born as well as my younger son, only 18 months apart, those were two of the happiest days of my life. I focus always on the positive, occasionally removing toxic energy and people from my life. It makes living a mindfulness life that much easier. Peace of mind is the essence of ones goal, in my opinion, in attaining the joys of gratitude. So, I welcome the end of Summer and look forward to all  the possibilities of the new seasons ahead. May all reading this have many moments of joy ahead.

I appreciate my followers and when you comment, I always answer. Relating to my words is one of my joys……no matter what season it is!!!!!!!!

Devout Romantic Plans For The Royal Wedding

I’m not ashamed to say I’ve been obsessed with Meghan and Harry from day one. I admire the humanitarian work she did as a young high school student, volunteering at local food banks. She has continued her volunteer work. She was either 8 or 11 when she wrote a letter to Proctor and Gamble about their commercial, and they actually pulled the ad. Another story was she didn’t want to check  white or black choices she had  in school, even though her teacher told her she looks white and should check white. . She spoke to her father and he told her she didn’t have to declare one or the other. “make your own box.” he advised.

Harry and Meghan certainly seem to be sincerely in love, and I believe in fairy tales and they will live happily ever after…..helping those less fortunate.

I’ve watched all the Royal Weddings and sadly Princess Diana”s funeral. All live.

I have a routine, go to sleep at 11 and wake up at 4 with great excitement,  joy, and anticipation for a Royal Wedding.

Devout romantics usually follow their own set of rules when it comes to what touches us emotionally.

So, today was special because I experienced The Book Club with my granddaughter. I loved every second, and I could watch the four actresses for at least another hour. Keaton, Bergen, Fonda, and Steenburgen. What comic timing they have and just a totally feel good film. Needed in this troubled and sad time for our country. There is nothing wrong in escaping in a positive way. I read one review that was critical because  politics was not discussed. That was a  big plus for me. If I want realism, all I have to do is read and watch the news.  The Book Club is the best feel good film.

Preparation……purchased one sugarless blueberry scone. Delicious and made with mashed  bananas. Yura has the best. One mini tuna salad sandwich. Greens and some fruit.

Plans….. Have a date with Bill Maher at 10:00pm. At  11  will try to go to sleep and set my phone alarm for 4am. That’s when the food will be enjoyed. Half the scone for the wedding and will save the other half for later.

So there you have it. No invitation, but I’ll be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dentist Delight

Having a lovely birthday lunch with one of my oldest and dearest friends. Since we were five years old and she was a bridesmaid at my wedding. So the subject switched to age and we didn’t want to ruin a wonderful lunch by talking about anything depressing. My friend smiled and said her dentist told her that he can’t believe her age, since he knows her records. “If I didn’t know how old you were, I would think in your 60’s.” She does look great and has beautiful skin……Definitely not my style to play “can you top this” but I had to tell her what my dentist told me several months ago.

“You have the gums of a 40-year-old.”

We raised our glasses and made a toast to ourselves.



A Wonderful Birthday Present. Forever Grateful❤️❤️Forever Loved❤️

How Long Do I Know You!! How Well Do You Know Me??

I wrote in my book Circle that family and friends can be our “emotional transfusions.” My favorite quote about friendship: “One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca……..Quality over quantity works for me. It’s not how long you know someone, it’s about them “getting” you, not judging you. Trying to explain yourself to a friend is a waste of your energy……..Years can melt away when the substance is made of ice, instead of steel.

Too Excited To Be Cool

I’m so excited and wanted to share my news. No, I didn’t meet Mr. Wonderful. I once wished on a star, and said if I had a choice of meeting a great guy or seeing my book published… would be the book that my co-author Barbara and I finally finished after over 40 years. I will post about that process at another time. It would of course be the book, because that would never be taken from me.
So today the editor/artist sent us the cover. Front and back. Victoria Landis is a writer, editor  and book cover designer. Thank you for your talents.  I’m so excited, I actually showed it to my husbands picture. Hey, I talk to him everyday and do Buddhist prayers to him for almost 14 years, so of course I would show him the finished book, that he wanted to be published from the day Barbara and I embarked on this project.
On the back cover is a blurb from Elizabeth Brundage. Her latest book is All Things Cease to Appear. I have known and loved her since she was a baby. What she did was beyond wonderful. Interesting that a week before Barry died, we were together in Connecticut and he asked Elizabeth to help get this book published. We ended up self publishing and soon we will read the proof, and then it will be on Amazon. Kindle and Paperback. Thank you to Elizabeth for her wonderful words that I greatly appreciate.
BTW, I love the cover. Front and Back. Have a fun weekend everyone.


I wanted to start the New Year with a positive post. The end of January, I am hoping to do a post about my book being self published with my co-author. Started over 40 years ago, we finally decided 13 years ago to finish and finish we did. Will write about the process when I know the availability to share.
“When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, you are healed.” david avocado wolfe
Our book is fiction. By the way.
Not to be maudlin, but the holidays are quite different when you live alone. I never allow myself to feel lonely, because I am fortunate to be surrounded with loving and caring family and friends. But, it is just not the same and it never will be without my husband. I have learned to practice mindfulness every single day, not to allow the voids and sadness to invade, and take over my gratitude. We can control our thoughts since we put them in there and we can take them out… Strength meeting vulnerability and sensitivity in a head on collision….and strength must triumph!!
I often think what it would be like to be in love again.
Hope the New Year brings everyone reading this Good Health and Life’s Joys!! and don’t forget that eating healthy is a choice. A good one. My New Years resolution? Not to have one.

Leaving 2017

Another year, and certainly grateful for more than I’m sad about. Your emotional plus lists can come in handy when necessary. Just think of all that you have and the voids seem a little less painful. We start a new year with many hopes, dreams and those resolutions that are usually kept for about ten days, if that. As you all know, I always recommend eating healthy, and keeping in mind that living in the moment works when your moments are in good health. The dreams and hopes seem to go from one year to the other. The control you have over your thoughts and what you eat can be controlled by you. Christmas Eve I was at a warm and wonderful party. All ages and all just wanting to have fun. I met a young woman in her 20’s and very fulfilling to have her write down some of my suggestions. One was to practice breathing exercises, a most important exercise for health. Hatha Yoga, a gentle form of yoga focusing on stretching and breathing. Yoga laughter sounds weird, but your body and mind are not aware that yoga laughter is a bit forced, but a laugh is a laugh. What you do when you’re young can affect the quality of your life as you age. Balance is so important and flexibility. Running and Ashtanga Yoga may work for some, but the gentle form of Hatha Yoga and walking at a fast pace 20 minutes a day may work as well. Many of my friends who used to run have had knee and hip replacements. My grandmother lived to be 99 and walked from her kitchen to the bedroom. I once read that lifestyle has more to do with your quality of life than your genes. Stress is something we all have, and I’m not talking about the extremes or tragedy. the usual normal day stress we all deal with. It is how we deal with disappointments, heartbreak,and of course realism that defines us. Fantasy and dreams should always be a part of our lives. Realistically I know I will probably never meet another great romantic love, and it’s ok. I was one of the lucky ones having had a man who loved and adored me. I don’t take that lightly ,and I know his energy is with me everyday. I’m not about to be committed to a “happy place,” but I talk to Barry everyday. Part of my Buddhist practice is a prayer to someone who has died that you loved. I feel his energy and know he “knows”, because I’m Awake.
2018…….the book my co-author and I finally finished and publishing, will actually happen in February. It’s genre is Women’s Humor Fiction, not literary, but edited, and we think a good read. because the characters are likeable and relatable. Hope some of you read and enjoy.
I find the older I become and certainly grateful for the years, the less I put up with people I don’t get and they don’t get me. It just fine because I have enough of the “wonderful others.” I love nourishing people from the same planet I’m from……and my emotional tools that really work. “If you don’t care, I care less.” It sounds harsh, but if said with a smile and not in anger, it works. No room for negative thoughts or people. Selective memory and denial are my favorites……and my role models, in their 90’s… I wish all reading this the most wonderful New Year ahead. A healthy one with laughter and joys galore…..and of course an abundance of love, and some dark chocolate everyday.