Is this the new normal ? Living with fear of the unknown? Cancellations, people working at home, shopping for three weeks of supplies, empty shelves of antibacterial everything, being told I’m very vulnerable and need to stay away from younger family members, museums, schools, colleges , concerts, sports, Broadway and the list goes on. I’m usually mellow and try to live in the moment . Right now, the moment is fear. Not feeling very creative and hope my next post is more positive. I have a special birthday in April and cancelled party in May. Not complaining. Simply want this virus contained and do our part to slow this Coronavirus . Sending positive energy, less anxiety and hope for all reading this to have good health and be safe.
I was invited to a lovely event. Swan Lake Ballet. Then a cocktail party for 250 people after the ballet. I knew two people. The two I was with. I felt that I needed to announce that I don’t do very well making conversation with so many I don’t know. What I know is myself. I’m friendly and quite secure with one on one. If I needed to be outgoing for business I would be able to easily. Fortunate the two women I was with respected my wish to quickly find a table and people watch alone. I was with a very close relative and a close friend. They didn’t question or judge my need not to mingle.
We walked into a huge room and all the tables were taken. Small cocktail tables. Karma was on my side. I spotted one lone table in the back and made a fast beeline securing the table.
The three of us had a fun conversation and not one word of just social noise.
It’s been a while since I posted. I feel creatively, it’s been a quiet time. I’m sure you’ve all gone through a time of reflection . I adored Lucky, my kids Havanese, he was an integral part of my life… taking care of him whenever they went away . I adored him, and as animal lovers know, they love back. He died in June at 14. It’s difficult for me to be at their home without feeling his loss. I know it gets softer with time. I had three of my own and your furry loves stay in your heart and soul forever. So, dealing with that and other issues regarding changes in my life have taken some of my passion to write, to another place. I finished and self published Circle. My co-author who actually put the book together, although we wrote our characters and the rest of the book together, decided after only 7 rejections to self publish . Definitely not my choice. Also my choice to not try Internet Dating sites again. A rather empty feeling to think I may never meet a wonderful new love again……. But, all that aside, I do realize all I have to be grateful for, far outweighs my voids. I knew the joy being loved and adored by a wonderful husband. I have family I cherish and the feeling is mutual. I hopefully am in good health and will stay that way. I enjoy doing fun things with friends and NYC’s endless energy. So perhaps my quiet time is just a moment in time to recharge.
You became an integral part of my life when I needed you the most.
I became a widow. Grief followed me. Constant shadow .
….and then you arrived. Lucky Buster. My canine grandson. You gave love and kisses from day one.
A few more weeks and you would have lived to be 14. A warrior fighter cancer twice.
You died when I was at the beach in North Carolina with 15 Virginia family and friends. You were in the hospital with Mommy and Danielle . They saw you lift your head up, as if to say goodbye as you left for The Rainbow Bridge🌈. They kissed you.
You gave unconditional love. Unlimited kisses whenever I asked .
It was my good fortune to take care of you whenever your family went away.I loved our times together. Walking in Central Park and chatting on a bench. Always time for kissing and snuggling.
The last time I stayed with you was our last time together. 10 wonderful days, even though you were on 9 medications. You weren’t in pain. Just fighting, and you were frisky too.
But, you knew it was our last time.
There was never a time you didn’t kiss me. I held you and said to kiss me if you would be there in August.
You wouldn’t kiss me.
Lucky forever missed , forever loved. Gama
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened .” Anatole French