mother nature is a man and other observations..

So many years ago, my husband and I would go for dinner with friends…sometimes up to four couples. Social noise enveloping the evening most of the time.
Drama began when the check arrived, the men waiting with their cards in hand to split the check……one friend who owned his own business, would literally dive for the check, seriously, sometimes spilling the left over wine, in his quest.
“Oh, I’ll just put it on my card, and you guys can give me the cash.” Glancing at his charge card, I noticed, and he noticed that I noticed, it was his business charge. I shall call him Roger (not even close)…He quickly said “hey it’s my business and I pay the bills.” My husband and our friends would never be described as stingy in any way, but this was always an annoyance to us. I wondered if the IRS knew of these periodic cash dividends being given….Roger and Leslie went out at least five times a week. You do the math. He was fortunate never to be found out.
Fast forward to now. Alone and paying my own bills……………..I went for dinner with a friend and her friend. A mistake in the making, because I had eaten a late lunch, and wasn’t hungry, but my friend asked me to please join them. So the friend of my friend starts off ordering two drinks, and in New York, that alone, can be $40. Then the tasting menu,and that was $80, and yet another glass of wine. The house wine was lovely and that is what I ordered,and no food. Her wine was about $18 and mine was $11. The bill arrives and the gourmand said “why don’t we just split it? So much easier.”
I almost choked on my last sip of wine. “Oh, I don’t think so. I wouldn’t expect you to pay for my dinner anymore then I’m willing to split.” I was smiling and did say it in a gentle, but firm tone. “Here’s $17.00 and that should take care of tip and tax. I was more than generous. Needless to say, I never wanted to have another dining experience with her.
I have noticed over the years, my eating habits have really changed. I have been a vegetarian for over thirty-five years, and always preferred appetizers. I do enjoy a glass of wine, but huge portions, both size and price, really turn me off, as much as sharing a check with major differences. I enjoy the small plates many restaurants now offer.
The word empower, has never been so empowering, since I learned how to say “separate checks please.”