Still a dreamer…Old Memories and New Hopes

Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

Time

I asked my friends in a very nice way not to say “where has the time gone.” I know where the time has gone and is going. Very Very quickly, and the older we get, it seems the faster it goes. I remember as a child, the long delicious days of summer seeming to last forever. Now they are showing fall and winter clothes in New York City shops. I find back to school pencils a bit annoying at this time. I do believe that should be illegal and stores fined by showing back to school in July and women’s fashions galore. Let me just enjoy August before it’s Labor Day. I decided this year to wear only white and bright colors all summer. Why? Because all the years before, it was October, and I realized I never wore my summer clothes. I do have a pact with some of my friends to never discuss the passing of time and not to ever say, “where did July go.I can’t believe it’s August.” I mean what is the point of noticing. I once read that “denial is a wonderful thing.” Thought it was Kitty Carlisle. Not only is it, but selective memory is quite a comfort when living alone and over-thinking becomes over-thinking. Time to get out the candle and clear the mind and meditate for five minutes. I consider myself grateful and fortunate having loving family and friends in my life. Something about a 700 square foot apartment with enough closets, also on my grateful list.The big switch from summer to winter becomes easier. Do I want to think about that now? Of course not….please lets enjoy August. By the way, where did July go? Rejoice in the last days of summer. With global warming, we may even have summer until October. But for those of you who buy new clothes every season, you better get to the stores, before they run out of wools in August.

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feelings

Timing

Thirty five years ago I met a new friend at a writing workshop. I had an idea for a book that I then decided what I was so sure about writing, I became unsure. My new friend suggested we do the book together, and that was the birth of our book together. She lived in New York City and I lived at the time in New Jersey. A genuine New Jersey housewife. My husband loved the whole idea of the book, and was very supportive ,but never understood the forever process…a forever process. The book is about two unlikely women becoming best friends forever, and their romp through middle age with a bit of astrology, revenge, and told secrets. My co-author said Thelma and Louise meet Wall Street and I added, but with a happier ending. These evolved women are not the type to go off a cliff, especially in a convertible.I have many creative souls on Twitter and we share in the process of trying to get our projects acknowledged. We sent out the manuscript to several, not many agents and they all said the same thing. Good writing, would make a good movie, and good plot…..but I guess not good enough to publish. True, the publishing business is not great right now and self publishing seems to be the way many writers are going. We want the old fashion way, and hope someday to get an agent who believes in our book. Amazing that I just don’t get discouraged. Disappointed perhaps at times. I truly believe the right person hasn’t read the book. A movie because the women are in their 50’s would be a terrific opportunity for so many women actors. Magical thinking? I don’t think so, I believe in timing. I will keep you posted. Good luck to any creative souls reading this who also have dreams. Timing!!!!!

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feelings

Re-Entry

When I visit family in Virginia or California, it takes me a while, as I call it to re-entry after three weeks away. I remember traveling with my husband on long flights, and even if we got home at 3am body time, I would do a load of wash. Never considered myself obsessive, just organized. I need to unpack and wake up to a settled place giving me peace of mind. I left California after a glorious three-week family fun time, and ended up on the red-eye. I was trying to get the best fare when I booked on Jet Blue, and after I made the reservation realized I would be flying all night. The price wasn’t worth the five hours of steering the plane. Felt I was productive writing in the dark because I didn’t want to disturb the two people next to me who fell asleep before the plane took off. Guess they realized I was taking care of the co-piloting and could rest. A zombie left the plane after landing and arrived back at my apartment at 6am. Actually without any little white pill help, I fell asleep at 8am until 1pm. For the first time, needless to say not able to wash clothes without a washing machine in my New York apartment, I just sort of unpacked the few things I packed and let hang out. Why I need to take so many products is beyond my comprehension. It has to do with more practicality than over packing, not wanting to make a drug store stop when I have everything I need to bring. Now, getting back to my normal way of life takes about three days of slowly putting everything back where it belongs. Go through mail, throwing most of it out. Travel things away, cosmetics and all the other stuff in their proper places, and hang the clothes back in the closet. Some people can leave suitcases and everything out for days. I am not one of them. I needed to devise a method to all this unpacking madness and not leave my apartment for two days without a moments guilt. It was easy. The weather is absolutely beautiful in New York with no humidity right now. Not for me it isn’t. I put the shades down and said there is no way I can go out in this blizzard. The snow is drifting and the ice on the sidewalks dangerous. So here I am, able to stay in my apartment doing my re-entry my way. I have to go out tomorrow and know for sure this imaginary blizzard will melt in 84 degree temperature. Today it is 82. Re-entry almost complete, except for a pile of magazines I need to read. Another summer blizzard may be in the forecast for next week.

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feelings

Thank you kindly

I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank all readers that have left comments. Your words are sincerely appreciated and very heartfelt. Thank you, and hope you continue to find my blog inspiring…the magic word for me….

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feelings

There Just Are….

There are those times..There are those people..There are those moments..There are those years..There are those expectations..There are those disappointments..There are those hurts..There are those tears..Letting go is not so easy..Taking back the power and empowering yourself is worth every moment you try..”I liked having you in my life. I love not having you in my life.” pm….”What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”Aristotle..”A friend… Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.” Unknown………I am forever grateful to have my “emotional transfusion” that I always call them… Loving family and friends that “get me” and I “get them.” Never give your heart to anyone who doesn’t know how to hold it………………………

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feelings

Welcome New Followers and Grateful for All Who Have Stayed

“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” Anais Nin
Last April I started mothernatureisaman, ventured into uncharted territory and went on Facebook and Twitter. A bit like a dream. It brought a passion to my life with my writing, many many new friends, not so much a new romantic love, but followers from all over the world and the U.S. I find it amazing, so the dream that I threw into space like a kite came back to me in a most wonder-filled way. I wish to thank new followers on my blog..Risty, jisbelle, and mindset…and everyone who is signed up and has stayed signed up…I thank you most sincerely for your support and kindness.

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feelings

Postscript

Needless to say, not living with a man who loves you has nothing to do with being grateful for all in your life who love you. The love of family and friends is essential to the essence of life, and becomes even more important as you grow older. When you have health and the love from those you love, the void is almost filled. Still room to be filled completely.

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feelings

Dream a Little Dream/or Big

I often wonder if a genie came to me from somewhere over the rainbow and said I could have any dream of mine come true, what would it be? I wonder what would it be! Of course good health for all I love and me. Of course world peace. Of course a place where violence is never allowed. Violence against people and animals.I don’t dream about money. What my dreams seem to be is not to live alone for the rest of my life. No, been there done that as much as I love animals. I can’t afford emotionally to lose another. I”m able to get my fix from Lucky, My canine Havenese grand…dog. and when in California, I have Buddy a questionable schnoodle. I think he’s more Heinz variety. The joy of being in love with a man who loves you back was my joy for almost 50 years. Will I have a second love in my life? Who knows. I certainly can’t dream a dream that might never come true. So leaving that one aside, I think my big wish would be to just stay balanced and able to feel and give joy to all whose lives I touch. Being grateful is everlasting and can never be taken away. I guess my dream/wish would be to always be able to live in the moment. My forever dream moment.

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feelings

Sincere Appreciation

I thank my blog followers for their support and will continue to write on Mothernatureisaman. I am also writing for URAWarrior under paula paulette and hope you read my posts there as well if time allows. Bershan Shaw is a survivor and warrior and will be starting her show called Love in The City on April 12th 10 pm on Oprah’s Own Network. Not as much a reality show as a type of documentary about four solid grounded women and the issues they face everyday. The four women on the show in real life, have been friends for over ten years. Hope it’s a great success. Cheers Bershan.

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feelings

Happy March All

March and 4-6 inches of snow expected tomorrow…Can words describe the fears of ice and snow??….talking about the cold must be some sort of emotional release to constantly talk about the weather. It actually becomes quite boring. I am not saying where did February go. I know it was probably one of the coldest in many years. I remember going to Florida years ago and sitting in the sun, and people selling papers giving the latest winter reports up north. A pleasure for all who gave away snow shovels and heavy winter clothes. My choice is to live in New York where I have family, friends, and all the things I love to do. So when it comes to the weather, I just deal with it……and of course rarely stop talking about it. I should walk with weights when it’s windy….the other day, I had to hold on to a pole in order not to be the Peter Pan of the Upper East Side…..”Can words describe the fragrance of the very breath of spring.” Neltje Blanchan…………………….One word…JOY

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feelings