mother nature is a man and other observations..

Merry?…..2013 and now 2014 Update….

The holidays, any holiday, but there are holidays, and then there is a holiday season. The holiday season is what I’m addressing. It’s that time of year, when applying behavior modification has to be very strong. By that I mean, think only of what I am grateful for, and not my voids. Controlling your thoughts may be one of the most difficult emotional tasks. It can be done, but requires work and energy. A favorite quote of mine is from the teachings of Nichiren Daishonin… “One should become the master of one’s mind rather than let one’s mind master him.” The words certainly seem easy enough, putting them into action, not so easy..The investment of effort brings positive results. First I try not to go back into my other life when the holiday season was full of joy and excitement. Festivities galore, topping it all off with a very formal New Years Eve. The ultimate joy of being with someone I loved and who loved me back. My husband. I am not going into all the details, because then I will be stuck in a time warp. Dwelling and longing for the past is not healthy for me and I love this Russian Proverb. “Longing for the past is like chasing after the wind.” Memories are lovely, but the longing can become obsessive and that I what I am trying to avoid. A wonderful happy life affirming event will be happening soon in my life. A dear niece of mine and her husband are about to give birth to their first child within a week or two, a most joyous occasion. Christmas with my family will be lovely, and a fun grab bag dinner with two special friends, and if weather permits, a New Years early supper with a friend who is exactly on my spiritual level, and we have some very interesting conversations. So, my holidays will be about family and friends, and if I get down, poignant words are never far from my mind. A Wally Lamb quote. ” I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.” So one and all, I wish Happy Holidays and all good wishes for the New Year. Merry? Merry!!!!     A wonderful new addition to the family and on Dec. 31 the new little girl will be one. She has brought such joy to her family. Happy 2015 and may the New Year be filled with many joys for all.

Live In The Moment! Holiday Thoughts 2014/15

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” Lao Tzu

Holiday time , and once again looking forward to spending precious time with  family and friends. Over the years, I have noticed , many have fewer friends and  family to share this special time with. It saddens me to observe, and makes me forever grateful to have the treasured people in my life, that I value heart and soul. Difficult to express  when it runs  so deeply. Just returned from almost a month visiting my brother and  family in Virginia. My “sister” his wife, makes me feel  loved and cared for,  there are  no words to fully describe. I don’t want to gush because it would embarrass, but  she knows how much I dearly love and  appreciate her being in my life. My visit  is like being at a spa where the food is  nutritious, delicious, and homemade.  The night I returned to my home  ,quickly called the little cafe across the street and ordered take out. WHAT a difference. I posted pictures of my greeting when I arrived. Beautiful flowers and  goodies I relish. Everyday was special  with lovely memories.   My niece and her two daughters, my GREAT grandnieces, whom I adore,  give me overwhelming joy with their love. . The entire family radiates good feelings,  and makes me realize how easy family can be when it works. Volunteering on a hotline called Women In Self Help many years ago, taught me that family can be most destructive. The people you so need in your life to love and understand you are just not there. I  had such an issue many years ago, and have put it  where it belongs,  In the past. Living in the moment works best for me.  I have too many people in my life who “get me” to dwell on that which is negative. My wonderful husbands niece, since his untimely death ten years, has called me everyday. Another emotional jewel to treasure.

So for this holiday season, I reflect and give thanks to all  that make my life so full. My sons, my “daughter” my granddaughter and my two grandsons. My Virgina joys…. The rest of my family and friends of so many years, and new friends that are not really new. My belief…..  people are in your path for reasons……forever long friendships, or experiences that teach and turn into life’s lessons.

As 2014 comes to a close, I wish all , including mothernatureisaman and Twitter followers, all that you wish for yourselves, and if I can give just a few words of wisdom. Your health is the most important aspect of your life. Take care of yourselves by eating nutritionally, exercise, and get to really know and love yourself. To be your own best friend may sound banal, but it’s one of the most important relationships you will have. The only one that is 100% everlasting.   Having the capacity to love and be loved is essential, and be forever grateful for all in your world who know the meaning of  those words.

2015 May it be a year filled with joys!!!!!!!!!

Have Not

I do try to be grateful for all I have, but I don’t have you. I have your energy, your love, memories of you, but I don’t have you.I have your pictures at home, and when I travel, I take a picture of you with me. I have your smile, but I don’t have you.Emotionally and spiritually I have you. Physically, I don’t have you. When I think about you, I am comforted, but I don’t have you. I still cry, but I can’t let my thoughts of missing you overwhelm me. My life would stop. I must be ever thankful for what I have…..but I don’t have you.

Friends In Life and Twitter Life

I wrote a blog called Friendship Garden that has to do with letting go of some friends at a time in my life when it was necessary for my well-being. Toxic people have always been just that. Toxic, and we are the ones to know how to identify them. For me the pivotal time arrived when my husband died so suddenly, and my grief was being judged. I had choices, and one of my choices was to move to New York to be closer to immediate family and friends. I have said over and over again that positive energy family and friends are my emotional transfusions. There does come a time though, when very negative people can try to take away your own sense of being, and then you know when they can no longer be in your life.They challenge you constantly. It becomes rather simple, and should be done without anger. It just means that at different times of your life, there are different people who mean a great deal. The amount of years hasn’t the meaning as being understood and not misunderstood by friends. To have dear friends who really “get you” is a priceless gift. I have many young twitter followers who always seems to get into problems with potential or non potential loves. One or the other wants and the other not so sure. A good rule of thumb? ” If you don’t care, I care less.” When it’s right, I tell them, it’s so easy. No fighting and never wondering, “does he love me? Does he care? What is he really thinking? How can I make him love me? …..or substitute she. If looking for a serious relationship of any kind, there must be a connection, and if there is none, then just let it go. It saves you so much emotional time and energy that can be spent in a much more positive way. Broken hearts stay for a very long time, and should be protected before you give away your love to the wrong person. So now on twitter, there is a very easy way to let go of a connection. Simple, you just unfollow and that’s that. Quite painless actually. For me, outside the twitter world, I hold on until I need to let go. In Lovely Land of Twitter, I rarely do the unfollow until someones unfollows me. Unless you have been on twitter, you have no idea how quickly and lovely strong connections are formed. We will never unfollow each other… I can’t say that for the world outside, but I always make room for new thriving nourishing plants and flowers.

A “Babs” Moment…or more like a Barbra second

If anyone has been in the theatre district lately, it is sheer bedlam.. You literally have to wait on-line to walk. Trying to get to The Samuel J. Friedman Theatre, on West.47th Street to see Snow Geese, we walked by the Ethel Barrymore, where Betrayal was playing. My friend who actually spells her name Barbara, said she saw James Brolin getting out of the car. I had no time to even glance, because who was face to face, nose to nose, to me….Barbra Streisand. We were almost breathing in each others faces. I had all of one second to make my move. Being a New Yorker, we are used to seeing celebrities all the time, walking, eating, whatever, just enjoying their life, and we respect their privacy. But this was a quick decision on my part and in one instant, I blurted out “you are fabulous.” I had heard many stories that she can be very nasty to fans, but probably just gossip, because my new BFF said so graciously, “thank you very much.” So I became a breathless fan in my encounter with the fabulous Barbra Streisand and have no regrets whatsoever. No NYC guilt. I did what I had to do.

A Diamond In The Sand…Forever Loved

A beautiful sunshine day, not a cloud in the sky. A perfect outing at the beach. Only sound: the waves rolling in the surf to the shore………………………and then, carelessly dropping an exquisite diamond, quickly enveloped and buried in the sand……………………Searching for the rest of your life; never finding your diamond buried in the sand………….Met a for you.

Obsessive Thinking

When you think about it, obsessive thinking can be negative and destructive. What has more value? Worthless thinking or self-worth? Our choice to make. When it comes to controlling? Your thoughts should come to mind.

Know Thyself!

Getting to know yourself is a good beginning. Getting to like yourself is the beginning of a healthy relationship. Getting to love yourself is an everlasting friendship. It is extremely beneficial to get to know the person you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with, and may I add taking extremely good care.

To Barry

9/13/32 A Heartfelt tribute for my husband who died nine years ago this week, or was it yesterday! Soul connected love never dies. His energy and spirit comforts and sustains me. I believe, therefore it exists. He was one of the “great guys.” An extraordinary man who had the capacity to love and the joy of being loved, by all whose lives he touched. He is missed everyday of every year. Time doesn’t always heal. A sudden rude interruption of his life, so suddenly, with no time to prepare. Unbearable grief. I don’t live for a new fantasy love, but relish in the reality of what I do have in my life…and so very grateful. My children, my grandchildren, my friends, good health and never taken for granted. I exalt in our mutual love. I call them my emotional transfusions. I was in love with a man who loved me back, one of life’s great joys. I will forever love and celebrate you dear Barry. The butterfly and the sunflower forever, for ever.

……and the years go by

I think as the years go by, your priorities change. Petty things melt away, and good health and gratitude become number one…and then of course all your emotional transfusions. Family and friends.