Archive for the ‘changes’ Category
People come in and out of our lives for reasons…. and so many lessons to be learned.
Very often, observing, not judging, you see marriages lasting over 50 years. Perhaps morphing into a lovely companionship. Physically who knows? The bonus would be intimacy into your 90’s. I just know I would have had the bonus, but then again, who knows? The same with friends. You may have friends for over 50 years, but years may change your circumstances, and unless the friendship has more than longevity, it might be time to let go. Emotional cleansing, I have always said, is just as important as physical cleansing. When my husband died so suddenly, and I could no longer stay in New Jersey with all my memories, I moved to New York. As I wrote in my Garden of Friendship blog, there are times you let go. Knowing for sure why!
I am welcoming myself to the 21st Century. Hope my blog will be more visible using other social networks. Also have new phone to replace the flip that kept saying old person to me every time I flipped. So, I guess, anything is possible now…….or not…
How many opinions do you really need, when making a personal decision?. Now, we’re not talking about medical, legal, or all that require expert advice. Just the simple every day decisions that can easily be made by one person…YOU…. or you can turn into a full blown anxiety attack. I do know women who go shopping to buy something quite simple, like a pair of sunglasses, but it turns into a huge project, spending hours mulling whether they really need them, and what store, department or optical should they go to. Then after asking several sales people what they think, finally taking them home for a few more opinions. I was then asked for my opinion about the color and size of the sunglasses. I gave my honest opinion, rather quickly…Yes, they look lovely on you, always mindful that is the way you compliment….and 3 days later, I hear about the return. Seems someone, somewhere, in her apartment building didn’t like them. I’m a firm believer that if you ask 10 opinions, you may very well get 10 opinions. Going shopping in my closet, even for sunglasses, makes life easier and certainly less expensive.
Now, when it comes to my personal life, decisions are a bit more difficult to make. I still ask myself first before embarking on the journey of who to ask. Who would really know better than me, and why ask is generally the conclusion I arrive at.
Faced with a major personal decison, like should I really be with a man who happens to be younger, alot younger..really younger, but thankfully legally younger… What would society think? Would it depend on what part of the country I lived in? Would the friendship work in Kansas? I wonder about Texas, or heaven forbid Utah!!! Better stay in New York City, certain parts of California would be ok, but not Orange County, and of course Oregon., Getting older is such a relief.. You worry less about the opinions of others. You base your opinions on your own experiences, and your common sense, that hopefully ripened after 65. You go for it, if you want to go for it. Maybe! You do what you want, when you want, regardless of the opinions of others..The big BUT….I have never and would never intentionally hurt anyone. So perhaps, I should just stop counting! So what’s your opinion?
My very first post, I noticed a spelling error and of course, not sure, but did try to rectify..guess it takes a while to get the hang of it. so having been involved in women’s issues for so many years, I have heard the voices of many…some in quiet tones of resolution and others quite angry with their challenges of being single in a couple world. Yes, we do not want to be known as whiners and complainers, and certainly not good for the soul..But, so many of us are completed or old souls, but still working on what makes relationships thrive..and then what happens??? You meet a man or a woman or new friend, and wonder if they are from another planet. I have a philosophy that works and it doesn’t come from a negative place…just always working on yourself, even though for the most part, at over 70, we are completed in many ways..This applies to friends, lovers, almost lovers, relatives and the list goes on..If You don’t care, I care less..It works and then if it doesn’t, the very gentle words of I don’t give a f… or I don’t give a s……So IDGAF…or IDGAS…if said as a mantra several times a day, it might save you thousands of dollars in therapy..Enjoy your day and remember it’s the treasured people and moments in life that sustain and comfort and support you…not the OTHERS!!!!